The Poor House

June 23rd

2011-07-19T18:05:00.000-05:00

As I'm sure you can imagine, life is considerably different for parents of TWO children than one :) Yep, our sweet baby Reese is here! I got a small window of about an hour two weeks ago to post the whole story to Facebook, and then it dawned on me that several people don't use it and they go here for updates on us Poors. In the interest of saving time I don't have a whole lot of at the moment (as well as saving you from a notoriously long rant from yours truly), I'll give you "the Reader's Digest" version, as my husband loves to call it.

We went into the doctor on Tuesday, June 21st for a 38-week check-up. Progress! I was dilated to a 2 and roughly 80% effaced which prompted my OB to offer the possibility of an induction (a sonogram that predicted baby girl to be nearly 9 lbs. had something to do with it, too). After several minutes of hashing out dates, we wound up being scheduled for an induction less than 48 hours from our doctor's visit. On Wednesday, we celebrated B's birthday with friends and family and went home to rest up for our big day on Thursday - well... everyone else rested; I stayed up in a last little fit of nesting. At 1:30 I decided to call it quits and go to bed myself. About 2 hours later, I woke up, thinking my bed had sprung a leak... then it dawned on me that our bed wasn't the water kind. I woke Brandon up to tell him my water had broken and we flew into high speed mode to get ourselves to the hospital.

The plan went like this: check in, have a friend pick up Rylie, get antibiotics (I tested positive for Group B Strep), get an epidural, and then pray Reese shows up in less than 12 hours (that's how long I was in labor with Rylie). We had dear friends meet us at the hospital to take Rylie, my mom got there not long after and things seemed to be going smoothly, in tandem with "the plan". Then the contractions started to get fierce. To make matters more complicated, we got landed with a nurse who was overwhelmed by a staggering patient load and convinced that my issues were being overblown, that I was only in the beginning stages of labor. When we had arrived, I was dilated to a 2. By the time my case was made urgent enough to look into (by my mom to a more sympathetic nurse), I was dilated to a 7. Roughly 2 hours had lapsed. Another 10 minutes showed another centimeter's worth of progress. Around 7am, I started to panic, wondering where on Earth my drugs were. The sympathetic nurse who had alerted us to my quick progress decided to lay it out straight for us: I likely would be delivering a baby sans drugs. Immediately after being made aware of the bad news, a ray of hope came in the room - a woman in black scrubs entered who we thought was an anesthesiologist. Then the ray died. She was the first of 3 nurses who came in to prep for delivery. By that point I was in indescribable agony and I no longer cared whether the drugs made it, so long as my doctor at least was there. God is faithful: my OB walked in a minute or two after the nurses. At 7:15, I was told it was showtime. Fifteen minutes, a shot of lidocaine, and the toughest work I've ever done, saw the arrival of our second precious child, our daughter, Audrey Reese. She weighed 8 lbs., 1 oz. and was a little over 22 inches long. She was born "sunny side up" so there was some bruising on her head. That aside, she... was... GORGEOUS.

We stayed in the hospital for 2 days. Because she was born so quickly, there was only time to administer one round of antibiotics through my IV - GBS patients need to have two. Instead, Reese was given a shot of penicillin after birth, and she was monitored for the next 48 hours. She also had to deal with Jaundice, as a lot of early babies do - particularly those who are born OP (sunny side up). On Saturday, we got to bring our sweet little bundle home. And life has not been the same since - in the best way possible. Yes, we're exhausted. Yes, we're sleep deprived. Yes, we've had lots of crying fits, moments of worry, horrible diapers, and monstrous episodes of spit-up. But to be twice blessed with two precious daughters weighs immeasurably more than any hurdles we will ever have to clear.

Reese is now nearly 4 weeks old, and roughly 10 1/2 pounds - she likes to eat :) Rylie LOVES her and has been the most impressive example of a two-year-old big sister I've ever seen. Both my girls seem to have such sweet natures and soft hearts. My most earnest prayer these days is that God saves them early and those remarkable characteristics blossom under His grace and the nearness of His Spirit! I am indeed a proud mama :) Welcome to the world, Audrey Reese. You and Rylie make mine so very much sweeter!

Killing Time

2011-05-11T15:11:00.000-05:00

It seems that the only time we get these days to accomplish anything that's not absolutely necessary is in a brief collection of odd moments that are usually characterized by some kind of waiting room. Waiting on a car inspection; waiting for a doctor's appointment; or waiting on-hold with for some kind of representative. They're not really the appropriate times to pull out a craft project; they're not always "locationally convenient" to tackle something on your to-do list like wash dishes; and there's usually not quite enough time to write anything in a blog post if it's worth posting (and then not really worth the trouble of drudging up something to write about if you don't already have something in mind to begin with). That about sums up my current "situation". I'm a little sad to say it, since my last post was nearly 2 months ago, but I'm basically killing time.

After having experienced pregnancy, labor, delivery, and two full years of my daughter's childhood, I know enough to not be silly in thinking that folks are most interested in the goings-on of "mom and dad". Everyone wants to know about the baby - or in our case, babies. Rylie is doing marvelously. She just had her 2-year doctor appointment a week or two ago and while 98% of everything they checked is perfectly on par, there was one area that wasn't. I should say, there was one area in which she was off the charts. Want to guess? Her speech. We were told by our dearly treasured Dr. W that if he didn't know her and had to guess her age based on her ability to verbally communicate, he'd swear she was 3. Of course, we're thrilled - that's been one of the best things about Rylie. She is rarely frustrated because of a lag in communication. However, that being said, her ability to talk to us clearly has presented its fair share of uncharted problems. For instance, her words are her main vehicle for defiance. Where most children her age are learning what to say, Rylie is having to learn what NOT to say. My most difficult decision of "to discipline or NOT to discipline" came last week at dinner when I fixed the two of us pasta. I sat down a bowl with a fork and got us both drinks, then sat in my chair and started sharing a meal with my talkative toddler. About 2 minutes into eating I had the bowl in my had, ready to feed her a bite, and she informed me (verbatum), "Mama, put that down. Prayer hands." It just so happens that that night we had started eating and had totally forgotten to pray first (which is what we normally do). Needless to say, it was a moment of humbling for me.

Reese is (I think) doing well also. This pregnancy has been a booger to get through and getting to a place where I can say that I thoroughly enjoy it has been hard. The last few weeks have brought a whole new meaning to discomfort and the last couple of days have unleashed some emotional issues as well. But, Reese is constantly turning and moving, and from the size of me, it's obvious she's growing well, too. According to my little ticker in the right-hand margin, I'm nearly 33 weeks pregnant, so roughly 7 weeks to go. Feels strange even to type it out, but it's exciting nonetheless! I'll have a sonogram in another couple of weeks and I'll try and post whatever photographs they give me.

As for B and me, we're doing... fairly well :) There's a little hesitation for me when talking about our current status. We see each other roughly 1-2 days a week because of our schedules. For Brandon, he gets to go to work in the afternoon and tackle his job until late in the evening when Rylie and I are already down for the count (or at least on our way down); then, he gets up the next morning to play single Dad; he gets ready for work and Rylie ready for the day; and lastly, he drops her off at daycare to meet the next shift at work. I'm the opposite. I'm up by 7, out the door, at my own "shift" until at least 4:30, somedays 5:30, and then off to pick up Rylie to bring her home and play single Mom until bedtime. Needless to say, between our jobs, our toddler, late-term pregnancy, and all the little ins-and-outs of our daily lives, we're doing... fairly well. To put it most accurately, we're ready for June!

Last, but not least, please pray for us. We have gone into the last couple of months of our pregnancy feeling optimistic and hopeful in terms of what to expect with baby #2 - particularly where hormone balance and postpartum depression are concerned. I'm sad to say, our optimism took a hit this week when some of the symptoms of PPD made a sour return. I went through it without really any medication with Rylie and would so love to give Reese the same opportunity. It's important to us to breast-feed and have as healthy an infant as we possibly can, and doing that medicine-free is ideal just to prevent any risk to Reese. If we can't... well, we can't. Either way, the most important thing for us over the next 6 months is constant prayer that the enemy would be bound and the Lord would be near. Medication has nothing on the power of God.

We love you and are so grateful for you!!!

-Poors

Hello Strangers!

2011-03-31T14:44:00.002-05:00

It's entirely possible that I stink at this. I believe we've now officially set a record for the longest stint away from the blog. Somewhere in November, our schedules went from DEFCON 5 to DEFCON 3 and then we kicked things up a notch to DEFCON 2 when the New Year rolled in... well... maybe not quite that severe, but you get the point: the Poor House has gotten a little hectic. God has been moving in our lives SO much lately and my head has been bursting with things to write about, but I've yet to carve out a niche in which to do it. However, I did make a start at doing a little compartmentalizing. Instead of The Poor House being a catch-all for everything from lessons the Lord is teaching to me to updates on the things going on in our lives, I've set up a blog (though I have yet to post on it) just for the thoughts and am planning on reserving this space for our news. The "thoughts" blog is now at http://agoodworkinprogress.blogspot.com/ and all the rest is here. I have several projects I'm trying to launch, too, that have been in my head, but again, I've yet to be able to squeeze it in (you'll shortly see why). To follow-up or dig around in the creative venues I'm hoping to have up and running soon, check back to the "Our Other Projects" section sometime later this year. Now for the headlines...

The Baby
When last we spoke, I was rounding the corner to month 2 of my pregnancy and we were off to a rocky start. Basically, God allowed us to walk through a valley of uncertainty to render our hearts ready and accepting of whatever He had in store for us. If our little one was meant to be with Him first, He prepared us; if our little one was meant to be with us first, He gave us hope. It was a difficult place to exist, but we're thankful for it. Since then, things have developed beautifully. I am now about to breech the 27-week mark in a matter of days and I look more like I'm about to hit my due date instead. We also know now that our sweet Rylie will get to be a big sister to a little sister in July! We had already tossed around a couple of names we really liked and we settled on one that we loved pretty quickly. Two years ago in March, we welcomed our precious Adran Rylie into our lives and now in July, we hope to welcome a similarly sweet and healthy joy in the form of Audrey Reese. We could not be more ecstatic to have two darling daughters! As far as the pregnancy goes, past issues seem to have resolved themselves and while we are delighted to report no new ones, we do ask for your continued prayer support as we cross the threshhold into the third trimester and begin drawing near to our due date. Something you might pray specifically about is the ever-dreaded glucose test - this is a process in which a nasty beverage of what tastes like syrupy, de-carbonated Sunkist soda is consumed and then followed by a blood test an hour later. The goal is to check for gestational diabetes. If the first test is failed, you get a do-over... but the wait is 3 hours instead of just 1. And fasting is included. For a pregnant woman whose most recent desire is to devour everything in sight, fasting is not my friend. But, neither is gestational diabetes, which, in the very least, would make for a very tedious 13 weeks, and could make for a difficult health situation for the baby. Please pray the test goes well and I pass with flying colors :) Beyond that, please pray against pre-term delivery and a sound, healthy finish to our second pregnancy, with the result being an uncomplicated delivery sometime in early July and most importantly, another healthy baby girl!!

Rylie Roo
The other light of our lives has hit a monumental milestone recently as well: on Monday, our precious Rylie turned TWO! We had two reactions: (1) "Has it seriously been that long? Already?! Are WE ready?!" and (2) "We are loving the new-found independence our daughter is getting to experience!" The two-year mark has seen Rylie in potty training (which is going wonderfully); learning so many new words and phrases (she loves to chat!); and growing like a precious weed! She has become our key source of entertainment and she has us in laughter-induced tears often. She's also growing into her own little personality day-by-day and her heart is very tender and helpful. We can't wait to see what a fabulous big sister she will be in July! We LOVE our Rylie Roo!!

Sad News
The highest hurdle we've had to clear in the last couple of months was the loss of our first "baby", Maya, earlier in March. Maya (our 5-year-old German shepherd) has suffered for the last couple of years with severe allergies - the kind that had her constantly licking and scratching to the point that she would lose hair and bleed all over her body. The last bout she had was the worst. I don't believe Brandon or I have ever seen an animal look worse or more miserable - and she declined to that point in just a matter of a couple of days. We had been giving her steady doses of Benedryl to keep the allergens at bay and her comfortable, but the only treatment that really seemed to work was a stout dose of medication that became a serious financial obstacle that we would have needed to clear on a monthly basis, for the rest of her life. After looking at many options, being unable to overlook her misery or the idea that she would spend the rest of her life seriously medicated, we came to the decision that she probably needed to be put down. It was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do, and our hearts were very broken. While her absence is getting a little bit easier to process and our hearts are beginning to mend, we will always miss her dearly and no pet will ever be able to replace her.

Brandon & Me
We're finding more and more that the longer we're parents - especially now that we're about to be parents for a second time - once the news has been reported about the kiddos, there's really not much left to tell concerning just Brandon & me ;) The biggest news we've had has been on our job fronts. Brandon's schedule shifted early on in the year and while we've been strangers for the majority of the week, we've finally reclaimed our Sundays! That's been a prayer of ours for the last few years now and we're so excited to be at a point where we're able to worship and learn together with the Body on Sunday mornings and spend the rest of the day catching up as a family. Where my job is concerned, it's not going to be much of a concern after the first week of June :) In February, I turned in my resignation and am making plans to start off the summer becoming a full-time mama! When we sat down to look at the "specs" of working full-time with a newborn and a 2-year-old at home, the idea became illogical. Not only would more than half my salary be going to daycare expenses, I would also be paying someone else to share in the special moments my children have ahead of them, and that's if we were fortunate enough to have one person looking after just our children. More than likely, those moments would become invisible and lost on even their care-givers during the daytime because we would have to have them in an environment with many other children. All-in-all, it made the most sense to set up shop at home and have my girls to myself. And I am SO excited!! I am going to try and do something part-time - whether it's pour some energy into freelance writing, photography, or some gig I can do from home while the girls nap or go to sleep. We definitely want our dad home with us as much as possible, so if I need to figure out some small means of adding a little extra to our income, I hope to be able to do that so that he's not stuck at work all the time.

Extended Family
- Early on in the year, we found out that another wonderful woman in our family would begin a battle with cancer. Brandon's mom was diagnosed earlier this year and while cancer is always serious business, we've all been so blessed in our family that her prognosis is very positive & promising. She will have to undergo treatment over the summer, and just as cancer "ain't no joke", the treatment isn't either. Please keep her in your prayers and lift up her sweet boys & husband as well as this gets tackled and beaten.
- We also hit the 1-year mark in early March since we lost our sweet Tiffany. It's been amazing to see the things that God has done not just through her death, but through the life she lived. Though we've certainly been shaken, the houses that God builds prove to be set on the most solid of foundations and the work He is still doing through such a loss is so good!
- We are also excited to announce the arrival of baby Bode!! One of Brandon's cousins and his wife welcomed their first son into the world about a week ago, and he is a doll! We can't wait to get to meet him in person and hug on a set of brand-new parents!!
- In more exciting news, B will be making his way to Las Vegas in another month or two for a fun-in-the-sun wedding! We are looking forward to celebrating the marriage of another of his cousins in May. Though I would LOVE to get to go, the wedding falls around the 36-week mark for me, and travel at that point will be a no-no, so I'm hoping B collects enough fun & sun for the both of us :)

Well, apart from a few episodes of crazy weather (and no one really wants to read about that), there's not much else to report. Please continue to keep our family in your prayers as we get jobs, kids, and all the odds & ends that come with them figured out. We are so very excited about this next chapter in our lives and I promise, I'll be much better about keeping you posted in the future ;) Praying for you also & hoping you are all doing wonderfully well!

Christ is All,
Steph

News

2010-11-19T09:57:00.000-06:00

Well, I had hoped to share with everyone our news in a much more positive manner, but I suppose "positive" is in the eye of the beholder - and all things are positive with the Lord. We found out at the end of October that we are expecting again :) We've been planning and praying over the expansion of our family since July and we were delighted to see a positive pregnancy test a few weeks ago. However, this pregnancy hasn't gotten off the ground quite as smoothly as we would have hoped. In addition to taking a medication early on without the knowledge that we're expecting, I've battled two nasty colds and even had some mild spotting a day or two. We had our first appointment yesterday with a sonographer who discovered the source of the spotting: I have a small bleed in my uterus behind the baby. The bleed is not coming from the baby or the sac, but the uterus itself. It is small and the baby's heartbeat is solid and strong. However, it does technically put the pregnancy at risk and so I've been placed on bed rest until Wednesday. At that point, I will go back in to the doctor for a second sono and the prayer will be that no bleed will exist - it will have healed on it's own and everything will be normal. If not, the only remedy is more bed rest, which could become potentially costly if it begins to interfere with my job (thankfully, I'm off all week next week and the only day I'm missing due to all this is today).

Naturally (and perhaps unfortunately) it's a wrestling match for me to avoid worry and nervousness. I am a bit scared and have been since the beginning with this sweet baby due to all the hurdles we've already been dodging. But as my blessings of friends and family keep reminding me, God is in control, and praise God, I am not. We continue to pray that God will have a beautiful purpose for this child and it would include an extraordinary life of walking with Christ - the same we pray for over Rylie. We are praying baby is healthy and the remainder of our pregnancy would be also. If God should choose to lead us down other roads, we pray that He would equip us for them and remain close. He is, after all, our God who is mighty to save.

Please join us in lifting up our new sweetheart. This process enriches our love for him/her and definitely refreshes our perspective, rendering us humble and grateful for the wonders wrought by the Sovreign Creator. We love you all and count you among the many blessings God has given us. Thank you for your prayers! Regardless, we'll have great things to report come Wednesday.

Love & Hugs,
Poors

When the Veil Comes Off

2010-10-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

Hi! Can you tell we've been busy? So much has happened over the last month or two (or at least it feels like it) and it's kept me from my computer, a.k.a. my writing. Totally my fault, but there it is. Regardless, lately God has laid some things on my heart and I'm desperate to, at the very least, document them, if not share them.

A great friend of mine who works in the worship vein of ministry is completely on the ball when it comes to passing along worship music that packs a punch. Over the past couple of weeks I've found myself completely entranced in a song called, "Soon" (Hillsong United). The music is amazing, but the message is life-changing:

Soon and very soon, my King is coming
Robed in righteousness and crowned with love
When I see Him I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon, I'll be going
To the place He has prepared for me
There, my sin erased - my shameful garden
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon, see the procession -
The angels and the elders, round the throne
At His feet I'll lay, my grant, my wishing
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him, my heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ, the Lamb, the Lord of Heaven

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

I've thought about heaven a lot - especially on the days where I find myself missing a loved one who's gone before me; the days where the groaning of creation (Romans 8:22) seems both palpable and audible for God's renewal of the world; and the days in which I ache to physically see and hear Him. I haven't often associated heaven with my wedding day though - although, the comparison is scattered throughout the New Testament and I probably should've drawn the connection much sooner than now. Brandon & I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary early in September and although it's been 5 years, the memory of my wedding day is sharper than that of this morning's breakfast. I waited and waited with the greatest anticipation for that day to arrive. And when it did, the excitement was unimaginable. There are two moments I remember the clearest: (1) standing at the end of the aisle as the doors opened for me to see the man I was to marry, and (2) hearing the announcement of "Mr. & Mrs. Poor". I wore an off-white, organza and satin gown with a halter neckline that was beautifully embelished with beads and embroidery. And a simple white veil. In addition to my two clearest memories, I also recall quite strongly an internal debate I had about the veil. A lot of brides these days forego this accessory and for a while, I leaned heavily toward being among that number. After a dress fitting a few weeks before the wedding, however, I decided against 86-ing the veil. I'll admit, I second-guessed the decision as I stood at the back of the church staring at my groom with my vision slightly obscured by a thin piece of tulle in front of my face. Flashing forward five years later to a little Bible study, a few thoughts on heaven, and a powerful worship song, I now find myself without regret due to a refreshed perspective the Spirit's given me.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians, "Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end. But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. Yes, to this day, whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." (3:12-18).

The timing of the Lord is awe-inspiring in its perfection. Around the same time I had listened to "Soon", I had also taken a quick "dip" in 2 Corinthians. I should've known better than to think that by the Lord's standards, "a dip" is enough for one who seeks to follow after Christ. Drowning is more appropriate. What HOPE there is to be gleaned from this passage! Verse 12 says that Moses had to go so far as to cover his face to hide its sheen because he'd been on Mount Sinai, talking with God (Ex. 34:29-35), and the Israelites would have been terrified of him (Exodus says that even Moses' brother, Aaron, was afraid to come near him because his face was so shiny), not to mention - at the very least - put off by Moses' message. (Moses had been given the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai - a death sentence for the Israelites preferred way of life; "Now if the ministry of death, carved in letters on stone, came with such glory that the Israelites could not gaze on Moses' face because of its glory, which was being brought to an end, will not the ministry of the Spirit have even more glory?" 2 Cor. 3:7-8.) And then the resounding message of verse 16: "But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed." When we turn from ourselves, our sin, and embrace the Lord who calls to us - who LOVES us - He will remove the obstructions of a hardened heart that stand between us and a clear view of His glory - especially when He Himself is our vision! In fact, the Greek word behold can also mean "reflect"- we are to be vessels that emit the Light of the Lord in a world that is dark, distorted, and blind.

The latter part of 2 Corinthians 3 (verses 17-18) is material that has been striking me in blows over the last few years, and even though I have been a Follower for 13 years, it's only recently that I've grasped the importance and the sheer majesty of the Trinity. God the Father and Christ the Son are fairly simple concepts to understand for a simple mind. The concept of the Spirit has been a bit more illusive. When I pray, I always begin, "Father God" or "Lord Jesus" - the Spirit never really factored into the equation because of my ignorance. And then I read Romans 8:26: "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. Fo we do not know what to pray for as we out, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings to deep for words." The Spirit plants faces in mind's eye when I pray - random people, some of which I have no name for. That's not my mind wandering, that's Spirit-intercession. The Bible refers to the Trinity as God in three parts - Father, Son, and Spirit. The Spirit of the Living God sits in my house right next to me when I pray. A presence every bit as Holy as God my Father and Christ my Lord is physically walking with me. Daily. My Father who loves me sent my Savior to rescue me and walks with me by way of His very real Spirit until the day my God will complete His work in me - and on that day I will behold the Bridegroom that is Christ without a veil. The anticipation will be done and the glory of the Lord will be set upon us in its fullest force.

Soon and very soon, my King is coming

Robed in righteousness and crowned with love

When I see Him I shall be made like Him

Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon, I'll be going

To the place He has prepared for me

There, my sin erased - my shameful garden
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love

With unveiled face I'll see Him

There my soul will be satisfied

Soon and very soon

Though I have not see Him, my heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ, the Lamb, the Lord of Heaven!

I pray the Spirit falls fresh on you this week! Love you!

Jesus Paid It All -
Steph

The Littlest Ladybug

2010-09-23T10:18:00.000-05:00

A Bumpy Take-Off

2010-09-14T23:07:00.001-05:00

It's been a little while. Sorry about that. Hopefully the title is some indication of our reasons for lapsed communication. So... since it's been a little while, I'll begin with the catch-ups. Here we go.

In another 14 days, our baby girl will officially be 18 months (a.k.a. a whole year and a half) old. Pinch me. Every few months or so, I go through her clothes to see what she can still wear and what needs to be packed up. One such even took place this afternoon. Every time I try and organize things in Rylie's room I inevitably walk away feeling a bit down. Rylie is a full-blown toddler - she's a professional walker (or should I say runner), the majority of her diet is composed of solid, "adult" food (save for the yogurt and oatmeal), she has 8 1/2 teeth (one is still making its way in), and she's taken to mimicking about 80% of what we say. In addition to her sweet physical attributes, she has an adorable personality as well. She has been leaning more toward the ornery lately, but that's to be expected. The hard part is Brandon & I avoiding laughter. (For example, she walked over to Brandon who was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, and starting giving him a hug. Without missing a beat, mid-hug, she started running her hand along the couch cushion looking for the remote she knows she's supposed to leave alone. Baby Rylie Con Artist.) Her hair has gotten quite a bit longer, too - we have even been able to upgrade from simple bows to pigtails! In short, my sweet baby is no longer a baby.

Brandon has been busy at work, as usual. We're hoping for a little switch-up in the job department for him that might allow him to attend church with us on Sundays. Prayers would be greatly appreciated! On his days off, he gets to spend dad time with Roo, which we all love. Brandon is an amazing father & husband - it's been an awesome thing to witness God growing him into the man He calls him to be. So in love with him.

In the "mom" neck of the woods, I've gone back to work. It's all come up so quickly that I'm still adjusting to it a little I think. Leaving Rylie is hard. It was hard last year leaving her and knowing that she would share so many "firsts" with someone else. Although we had a good amount of practice with it last year, it's been equally as difficult for us this year. The summer spoiled me. We are so thankful to have friends who love on her though and while I may turn green somedays with envy that someone else is getting to enjoy spending time with my kid, I am so thankful that Rylie is a safe and healthy environment... and she loves it, too. We have already begun the battle of the illnesses as well, I'm afraid. My first week back at work saw Rylie with her first "bug". Then, this week I've taken one on myself. We're praying for a lighter sick load this year than last. It would be wonderful to have a few days of sick leave left at the end of the year.

In other news, we have survived Ant War II at the Poor House over the last couple of weeks. I came home one night to find them all over our laundry room - they had invaded through tiny cracks in the grout near the door and trim. We caulked over the cracks and disposed of the ants inside our house only to find them shoving their way back in again... through Rylie's room. They had even gathered the audacity to streamline into her crib in search of food. You can't imagine my horror to walk in to Rylie's room and find her fast asleep with several ants crawling around in her bed (after they had bitten her a few times as well, I might add - she's such a tough baby, much tougher than her mother). Needless to say, an exterminator was called that day and while we've had to duke it out with them for several days, I think we're finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel... and hopefully an end to the hoard of ants.

God is doing some neat things with us in terms of learning blessings. Growing up, we were taught as kids that nothing is simply handed to you - it's earned. That's an appropriate concept to teach children I think, when it comes to developing a sound work ethic, but when it comes to filling the role of child of God, it's concept that has to find it's way to the trash (or so we're learning). We've had several experiences this year in which others have done tremendous things for us and we so desperately want to repay them for it, and instead of being met with anticipation or an expectation of repayment, we were met with blessings - things others had done simply to bless us because God had blessed them. I found (and still find) it difficult to just sit back and let it happen. It feels wrong somehow. But then, when I look at it on a much larger scale, understanding the wickedness within me, and the grace God extends me by giving me not just an earthly life made rich by friends and family and endless comforts that I take for granted, but life abundant through Christ, it feels colossally wrong. But through it, He teaches me all over again that He infinitely surpasses sufficiency for me, I will never be able to do enough to repay Him, His blessings don't stem from my actions (or lack thereof) to begin with, and He intends these things to demonstrate the depth, height, and width of His love for me. He makes the BEST Teacher - even (and sometimes most especially) when His methods are not congruent with my own.

So that's about it. It's been a bumpy take-off for us at the Poor House, but God is still God and He's still doing great things. We love you, are praying for you, and hope you are doing well!

Christ is All,
Steph

Blinded

2010-08-05T22:50:00.002-05:00

I rarely buy CD's. But about 3 weeks ago, Rylie and I took our first "girls only" road trip and happened across Tenth Avenue North's latest release and decided it was worth it to snag a copy. Good decision. Tenth Ave has been a favorite of mine for the last few months. They're one of the few bands I've listened to that seem to be more about the message than the profitability of the material. For example, one of their recent pieces says the following:
"He'll break open the skies to save those who cry out His name - the One the wind and waves obey is strong enough save you."
Sincerely simple concept but being undeniably human means I am even more undeniably stupid and the thought of the Creator of all things, taking on the role as my Rescuer, is one that bears repeating. Often. As I listened to the song the other day on my way to Target, the idea of God "breaking open the skies" filled me with anxious excitement. I've been involved with a great group of girlfriends for the past few weeks in Bible Study - we've been walking together through Beth Moore's "Here and Now, There and Then: Revelation". For me, as a Believer, I've yet to be as energized by a book from the Bible as much as I am Revelation, especially after taking this most recent tour through it. I've been moved to awe, repent, cry out, adore, worship, and marvel at my Savior (and MUCH more) in SO many passages of Scripture, but none stirs up in me quite the sense of immediacy or urgency that Revelation does. The book is the forecast of the future; the birth of renewal for His ransomed creation after thousands of years of labor pains and cries of "How long, Lord?" It's also a Christian's call to arms - victory is near for the chosen, but the chosen have a job to do and a short time in which to do it. Anyway, all that is to say, for me, hearing the lyrics to this song and having walked with my girls through a book that reads like a monstrous battle cry, I sat behind the wheel of my car and found myself praying for God to do something huge and that I might be so blessed as to bear witness to it. And then the Spirit leaned in and He gave me a few revelations of my own.
I am a contributing member to a society that is loose with it's words and it's expectations, and yet, grossly limited in it's understanding. In other words, I'm a sheep like the rest of the herd - ignorant and foolish. In my head, God breaking open the sky above me is huge. And yet, in His eyes, my next breath is huge; a monumental act of His grace and mercy. In Genesis 3, after the Fall, the Lord says to Adam, "By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return." (v. 19). One of my favorite preachers/teachers, Matt Chandler, calls this the "fracture" of the world, and I don't know that there is a better synonym for the Fall than that. The world in it's original creation is fractured, and everything in it thrown off it's center. In short, the fact that we are still able to survive, let alone thrive, is a miraculous act of the Almighty. It takes God in all His might, His wisdom, His authority just to bind together the pieces enough to have a world that even functions inspite of it's brokenness, let alone find a fullness of joy or a sustaining peace. And yet, those precious facets of God's character are not merely full or merely sustaining - they're uncontainable and overwhelming. He makes the temporary pleasantries to be had in an iPod (or something similar) seem unthinkably idiotic in the light of His glory.
Does it mean we need to alter our vocabulary? Not really, or at least, I don't think so. I think we should be asking God daily for Him to display His magnificence; to reveal Himself and do mighty things. But I think in order to see these things, we have to be equipped. Those in the Bible who came close to seeing or touching God were killed, or at the very least blinded. I think we need to pray - alongside our pleas for His greatness - for Him to be our vision, to see as He sees; a vision, I believe, that comes with the presence of His Spirit.
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you...Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:1-18;23-24)

There and Back Again

2010-06-28T04:36:00.000-05:00

Do you know what's like to be the captain of a ship sailing upside down, under the water? Everything is inverted and backward. No breath, just oppressive weight. No movement, just a crippling suspension. It's a debilitating position that renders one low - especially when you've presumed yourself a captain. It's also a fitting scenario for the last week of my life. Everything flipped last Saturday and I found myself in a familiar darkness that visited me for the first time shortly after Rylie was born. Round 1 happened last April and I did what everyone else did: I wrote it off as postpartum depression. I prayed, I read my Bible, I feared, I worried, and though my enemy retreated in the presence of my Father, I neglected to shut the gate behind him. In fact, you might even say that I extended him a standing invitation to come back. And he did.

I have sat down to write out the happenings of the last 10 days more than a half dozen times - the previous paragraph is a product of attempt #5, and because it's an accurate description, I kept it. I don't want this post to be crowded with ambitious words, because, ironically, when any work in a written format becomes too concentrated with a heavy vocabulary, the message gets watered down, or worse, lost. In my mind, this is the most important thing I've written. It serves as documentation, like a mile marker, in my life and more importantly, my walk with Christ. It's also important because I fully expect it to evolve; to add to it. I don't want to litter it with analogies or metaphors, but I do want to effectively communicate what's happened. In an effort to stride toward that goal, I'm going to crack this post from here on out in two halves - the first, being the experience and the second, being the result. Lord, may my words be Yours.

The Experience

I'm going to keep this part muted and brief for three reasons: (1) it's not the focus nor is it the most important part of my narrative; (2) I have absolutely no desire to elevate a devil-initiated experience - it would leave too much room for error, which, in turn, might run the risk of (a) making more of this half than should be made of it, (b) over-shadowing the mighty works of my Father, and (c) delighting my enemy; and (3) I would never, ever want to be the source of a stumble for someone else - I don't want to be used as a pawn in the devil's schemes to gain a foothold in someone else's life through the details of an event in my own. That being said, this was my experience: I was plunged into a very real, very present darkness for the second time in a little more than a year. Through a lack of faith and ignorantly practicing idolatry, I found myself faced with terrifying thoughts and held captive by an oppressor who had me convinced that I was wicked to a rare extreme; a lost cause; should be living out the remainder of my days in jail or an asylum; was abormal; was defeated and without hope; and had been given up and abandoned by God (he threw in a few other choice statements as well, but I believe you get the gist). Every possible murderous or self-destructive thought he could throw at me, was pelted directly in my face. The devil is a liar, but a couple of thousand years to practice has sharpened his forked tongue and like the sheep I am, I was utterly convinced that his words were truth. his oppressive methods (the lower case "h" is deliberate; I have no desire to give him any satisfaction - not even in a capital letter) ascended on me with heat, and I mean that literally. With each thought, each recoil in shame, my body was washed in a hot wave that rippled upward from my waist to the top of my head. The depth of this perversion was indescribable, with exception of saying that it was very real, and extremely torturous. The first time I dealt with this I wrote it off as "postpartum depression". The "symptoms" fit and like every average human (I suspect) it's easier to believe in something that can be seen, and if I can see it, and I explain it, maybe I can treat it, and then I can quit fearing it. More lies. When Round 2 came into the picture last week (with greater intensity, ferosity, and a sinister quality that overshadowed the previous battle), it was much harder to squeeze these happenings into the outline of a chemical or hormonal imbalance that typically wears off 6 months after giving birth. My daughter is nearly 15 months old. I started to look at it for what it really was: not physical necessarily, but spiritual primarily. And suddenly, in the pit and the dark, a crack of light let in fresh thoughts that spread like shattering glass.

The Results

I'm going to apologize in advance - this section is bound to be lengthy (Hallelujah!). Here's the thing with liars: they seek out the best, most thoroughly effective method to conceal the truth. Maybe it's by embedding the truth in a nest of falsehoods. Maybe it's by omission. Maybe it's by fragmenting the truth and removing critical pieces that will be replaced with pretty purjeries. Doesn't really matter, so long as the lie is accepted and believed while the truth remains hidden.

Lesson 1: the devil was right... sort of. I am wicked to an extreme. Why? Because I am a natural-born sinner. The lie here is the word "rare". Sinners are as common as rainfall in Seattle, tempted by the same means (1 Corinthians 10:13 - No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man...), and all fallen short (Romans 3:23 - ... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.). When your standard of measurement that determines what (or who) is "normal" or "abnormal" are a bunch of common men and women, I am only abnormal because they are as well. In that light, and by that comparison, I am normal - that is, I am no different from them; no worse, no better. It's only when compared with Christ that I am "abnormal". And praise God for the Light by which to see my stains! I was also a lost cause. I was LOST, but I was (and am!) a part of the cause of Christ (thanks, Matt Chandler, for pointing this out: Hebrews 12:2 - looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the JOY that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.). The biggest lie the devil told me was that God had given me up. Here's the truth: "Then those who feared the Lord spoke with one another. The Lord paid attention and heard them, and a book of remembrance was written before Him of those who feared the Lord and esteemed His name. "They shall be mine, says the Lord of hosts, in the day when I make up my treasured possession, and I will spare them as a man spares his son who serves him. Then once more you shall see the distinction between the righteous and wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve Him."" I have been claimed by Christ, and because He has claimed me, I am able to claim my victory in Him.

Lesson 2: Fear Him who is worthy of fear. I have feared everything in my life and worried over even more than I have feared. But when fear is referenced in the Word it's for one of two reasons: (1) it says to fear NOT or (2) to fear the Lord. For the first time in my life, from the pit, I cried out to God, "Lord, give me cancer, give me disease, any physical ailment You would see fit to allow me to undergo - take my very life from me and give me death! I'm ready! Anything but this spiritual torment!" If you know me personally at all, to be free of fear or worry of death or disease is huge for me. Through this muck, the Lord has shattered both my fear of disease and my grip on my own life.

Lesson 3: A spiritual void filled with anything other than Christ is idolatry. If I were to seek out some other source of healing (when my sickness is primarily spiritual) and place all my bets on it rather than on Christ, am I not lifting up some other substance in a place where Christ should be situated? I don't want to knock medications - I know people who have run to the Lord and Christ has accomplished a physical restoration through a medication. But the key is "physical". There is no hope of a satisfactory remedy from a medication when the problem is primarily spiritual. Medications treat the body, not the spirit.

Lesson 4: This one came from my Bible study, "Breaking Free" (thank You, Lord, for blessing Beth Moore with Your words, and me with the study she wrote using Your words): Fear produces anxiety; anxiety produces restlessness; restlessness is a state without peace; peace is a part of the armor of God, and without the full armor of God, your defenses against the enemy are weakened. Take a look at Ephesians 6:13-18: "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of fatih, with which you can extinguish all the flaming dars of the evilo one; and take the helmet of salvation, and thw sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints." The gospel of peace is the same peace that's referenced Philippians 4:7, "... the peace of God, which passes all understanding...". Godly peace is godly rest, and without rest, we are rendered weary and therefore sluggish to respond in an attack - without rest, without peace, we are not ready and we're left bare-footed in the heat of battle. You might say that the tale of Achilles and his fateful heel packed a bit of a punch for me when I stumbled across this truth in Bible study. satan was not just attacking me; he was attacking me through holes left by defenses I had neglected to put up. I was so sidetracked by my fear, so captivated by it, that I didn't realize that peace and rest in the Lord was a method of defending myself in the first place.

I am so thankful that my God is faithful. He brought me out of the pit and altered me in the process. He continues to make me aware that "the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life" (Matt. 7:14). Please continue to pray for me in this process - it will be on-going until the day He returns or calls me home. Rest assured, that I am praying for you, too, and look forward to hearing about the journey on which He's leading you.

Thanks for reading and letting me boast in my Savior!

Love you,
Steph

Home Videos

2010-06-03T09:20:00.000-05:00

Alright, after a lengthy battle with YouTube and feeling like we should be utilizing this feature unique to the blogging world, I am posting a random string of home videos (most of which were shot with our cell phones, so excuse the resolution on a few of them). Some are from February, but most are pretty recent. I'm still working out the kinks so bear with me if something doesn't work :) Enjoy! (Note: If you're new to YouTube video, click on one video at a time :))

This first one is from February during our first snow day! So precious!

Next up, this one was taken just after bath time. One of my favorites!!

Brandon shot this one - Rylie feeds herself!

One of my absolute favorites EVER - Rylie & Maylee boogying to C-Sky's "Video Killed the Radio Star"

This video is Rylie with my Jamba Juice. This was just after we got home from Barnes and Noble... where she took the straw from my mouth and put it in her own and began TANKING my smoothie. And she had never drank from a straw before either.

This one is her first ice cream cone :) CHOCOLATE!

Rylie tried growling...

I blew bubble gum bubbles and Rylie thought it was HILARIOUS.

This last one is of the best - Brandon singing the National Anthem for the closing ceremony for the PGA Tour at Colonial. He was AMAZING!

To Thine Own Self Be True

2010-06-02T14:12:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty sure you've noticed, but just incase you haven't, my random writings and musings have taken on a theme involving spiritual battles lately. For those who would seek to dive deep in their walk with Christ, the way is frought with peril (which is what, I suspect, the Word means when it says, "For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life..." - Matthew 7:14). Examining my own battles these days, I've noticed that there has been an element in scarce supply: logic. Fighting a battle takes strategy; knowing your enemy and knowing how well your enemy knows you. Applying this principle to my walk has led to some interesting discoveries.

There are certain passages of Scripture that every Believer carries with them when they graduate from Sunday School. In fact, some of them have even made their way to a mainstream audience that would take these passages for their proverbial weight and never link them to the originating, sustaining source. One such verse comes out of Leviticus 19: "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord." Most Believers refer to this passage as "The Golden Rule". I cannot tell you how many times I've heard others say, "Love your neighbor," or "God calls us to love our neighbors." What's interesting is how often the "as yourself" part gets left out. Sin in any form is shameful - that's part of its weight. No one likes to say or admit that they love themselves. When we do, suddenly terms like "proud", "narcissistic", or "haughty" leap to mind and the characteristic takes on a turn that, we feel, labels us as bad people. (And really, we are bad people. Believers cannot claim goodness or righteousness apart from God and non-Believers who experience goodness in their lives don't know to acknowledge the source. Not to mention the fact that these men and women are exactly where the devil would have them - why should he encourage them out of their dillusions, which might rock the boat and cause them to be discontent with a life apart from their Maker?) But no matter how much we cover ourselves in denial, the fact remains: we love ourselves - more than anyone else. And the devil knows it. And I can prove it.

Arguements happen on a second-to-second basis, right? I don't know many men or women who haven't been in an arguement - and I'm not just talking about the bickerings and hiccups you find yourself in with somone you love to dislike. I'm talking about the spats you get into with your husband, your wife, your son, your daughter, your mom, your dad, your best friend, your brother, your sister - the people you love most. You see an obstacle, the devil sees an amusement park. Why? Because in an arguement, you don't see one you love. You respond with defense - your natural, sinful instinct and Satan would take advantage of every bit of it. Enter logic: the enemy is THE ENEMY, not your loved one. In these arguements, you're in battle with him who would use you against yourself. He would have you abandon the reason that says (with full proof to back it up, too), "He/She loves you; he/she would never intentionally hurt you; and if he/she did, pray for him/her." That "reason" is holy - it comes from the Spirit that is not self-seeking. How much more power does The Golden Rule pack when you take into account just how much you love yourself?

I love how the Bible rounds out verse 18 in Leviticus 19,"...but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord." Quick English lesson on the colon (the punctuation mark, not the bodily organ): it's used in various forms. The use of it in verse 18 is called an appostive colon. It means that the first statement (immediately before the colon) introduces the second statement (immediately after the colon) and futher defines or modifies it. In this case, the reason you are to love your neighbor as yourself: God is God. And God said so. The next time you find yourself in a quarrel with one you love (or love to dislike), implement a strategy (Note: your enemy has one, too. His involves greatest amount of damage over the longest period of time with the least amount of effort. Think how much he can accomplish with a demolished marriage or an estranged relationship - especially when the parties involved are a part of the Body of Christ.): pray and be determined not to let the real enemy win.

Praying for you,
Steph

A Tempting Revelation

2010-05-27T16:47:00.000-05:00

My life of following after God has taken on an interesting process, and without wishing to reduce it to a cheesy analogy, I'm compelled to make it relatable so that I may (as accurately as I can) boast in the things my God is doing. This process of my Maker's is most accurately comparable, I think, to Lasik - He is adjusting my vision daily, and the improvements have made familiar objects brand new in the light of Him. One such revelation hit me this week regarding temptation.

As a kid, I was tempted by basic things: Do I lie or tell the truth? Do I take that without asking or get permission first? In short, my childhood was comprised of a lengthy strand of sinful behaviors, but the deadly pearls were in the same shape and mostly the same color, representing the same sins I was so prone to commit. Like many Christians (I suspect), I saw things in grades and levels growing up. "I lied, which cannot even be compared to something like murder, or homosexuality, or adultery." I believed that I had trekked the mountain of humility, breaching the summit with ease and had claimed the peak for myself, by myself - and at the ripe old age of 20, no less. The mountain, however, was a mirage, and the reality of the desert of pride threw into sharp contrast a void that was so remarkably like thirst; a climate that was more desolate, more deadly than my mind would have ever imagined; and a portrait of my sin - and my susceptibility to it - that was unbearable to behold. At 24, I became a mother, a role I had wanted to play for as long as I could remember. My journey into motherhood, however, was no warm welcome. A heat wave of hormonal imbalances pushed my mind into realms I thought myself immune to. I was plagued with thoughts of harming my child, and the resulting guilt that poured from these "What if?" images had me doubled over in shame, ready to relinquish my own life at times, under the weight of contempt. (Yes, it got that bad.) I know for most of you, this isn't new information if you've kept up with The Poor House or you've gotten to know me well over the years; although, it may be said this time around with more disclosure in the details. I found myself enslaved in this struggle, and in the heat of the fiercest battle I had known, I was in no way impenetrable - that is, apart from God. Medications didn't cut it - instead, heavy doses of the Word and ceaseless prayer on my part and the part of my family and friends, did. In the process, I found myself surrounded in a new sense of freedom, and in a way, I became gloriously bound to my Christ, the way one who is guilty is tied to stake. I began to be set on fire daily, and it became clear to me, on a very personal level, that the only thing that stood between me and a truly horrific fate, was the grace of God and blood of Christ.

I still struggle. I am still every bit as susceptible to temptations of many forms as I was before I was afflicted - in fact, I am even more so now than I once was. As I've said before (and I'm sure you've heard from others before), if you put on the armor, anticipate a war. There is a reason the enemy's weapons are described as fiery arrows in the Bible - his goal is to both pierce and burn. However, in "putting on my armor", I've wound up revisiting verses that were familiar to me as a child. (Remember my reference to Lasik?) Here's the first:

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

Did you catch that?? CHRIST can sympathize with my weaknesses. He understands them. Why? Because he's felt the same heat I have - the difference is, He never faltered! One of my greatest comforts in this trial has been my husband. He has prayed with me and over me, held me, cried with me, and consoled me in the very depths of this thing, reminding me that we have all been tempted and fallen short ( Second verse: "No teptation has not overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it." - 1 Cor. 10:13), and through him God has brought me to places of restoration. But Brandon is not enough to conquer this beast who would have me bested. God, however, IS, and the comfort I have in knowing that HE has been where I have been (and the RENEWAL therein) is invaluable to me.

When I started digging in the Word concerning temptation, I went to the Gospels to read up on Jesus' temptation. Four different perspectives on the same happenings and yet, immediately following the temptation of Christ, all four said the same thing: "Jesus Begins His Ministry". How incredible is it that Christ's ministry came immediately AFTER He was tempted?! The Bible does not move from His temptation into boasting about its elimination or some kind of post-temptation renewal - it moves into ministry. And though He is Christ, utterly without blame, stainless, and pressumably fit for ministry since He learned to speak, His ministry does not begin until He has endured temptation. Not only was He born as we were born, but He was subjected to the same struggles that He might identify with us and we might identify with Him. (Hallelujah!)

Another dominant thought that God has placed in my head has been this: the future of this battle is not only predictable, it's been predetermined. There has never been a question of God being victorious and with the coming of Christ, it's an undeniable certainty. Christ came as I came, lived as I live, was tempted as I am tempted, but did not sin as I sin, and died to be my (yours, too) Savior. Win.

Will I still struggle? Yep. My God is jealous of these things that would separate me from Him. And why not? I am a wretched sinner - one of millions who, logically, in the scheme of things, would never be counted, noticed, or missed - and He has purchased me, my life, with the blood of His only Son. Sin has the steepest cost and the Father forfeited the costliest sacrifice - for our good. I'd say He has a right to be jealous. But as if that were not enough, His chief reason for His pursuit of me (and you)? His love for His children. And I am one of them. And so are you.

So if you struggle, be glad. Consider it discipline, refinement... "rigteousness training". Know that God has given you others to lean on, to help quench the thirst that comes in trial, but do not forget to run to the Wellspring. There is healing, renewal, strength, and LIFE. (And don't forget that He was subjected first.)

"It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shal we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. FOr the moment all discipine seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed." Hebrews 12:7-13

Love you & praying for you,
Steph

"Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and He in whom I take refuge..." Psalms 144:1-2

Get Your Cows in a Row

2010-05-26T14:26:00.000-05:00

On Thursdays (at least where we live), Chick-fil-A does this wonderful thing in which they give local teachers a BOGOF deal (buy one, get one free). I have to be honest here: I frequent my Chick-fil-A more than once a week for lunch. The food is delicious, it's relatively healthy (depending on your selections), and by golly, the pace of the drive-thru line (though unbelievably long) moves at an unbelievably fast pace (not to mention their trademark method of advertisement is brilliant). Unless you've been living under a rock for the last few years, you're acutely aware that our country is in a recession - in more ways than one. Our economy has taken a serious knock on the head and in terms of recovery, it's taking a while for us to come-to. I believe the same can be said for the Church. From the drastic influx of Christians adopting lifestyles contrary to the Gospel they believe in, to a lengthy string of politicians betraying their faith to popularity in the limelight, the current portrait of the Church certainly isn't without its flaws (and in keeping with the Gospel, it will never be a beautiful-to-perfection picture until all things are made new in Christ), maybe even more so than usual. Perhaps the two are related?

Every time I visit Chick-fil-A, there is a line wrapped around the building, generally at least 2 cars thick. Now, I pass several other fast food joints on my way to lunch, and I've told you my preferences for the "No Cows Served" sandwich shop. But when I see the sprinkling of a few cars in the drive-thrus of McDonald's and Taco Bell, and then witness the crowds at Chick-fil-A, it often has me wondering if the secret to their success goes a little deeper than a great recipe for a chicken sandwich - actually, a lot deeper. Chick-fil-A is the only restaurant I know of that doesn't take advantage of the business (and profits) to be had on a Sunday. I had a sneaking suspicion that I knew why, but I wanted to find out for myself. This is what their website had to say on the matter:

"Our founder, Truett Cathy, made the decision to close on Sundays in 1946 when he opened the first restaurant in Hapeville, Georgia. He has often shared that his decision was as much practical as spiritual. He believes that all franchised Chick-fil-A Operators and Restaurant employees shoul have an opportunity to rest, spend time with family and friends, and worship if they choose to do so."

Exodus 20:8-11 says, "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."

In addition to supporting a "Closed on Sundays" policy, Chick-fil-a is also involved in a lot of organizations that aid foster homes, leadership, and even enrich marriages. The underlying message: First, follow after God and the rest of your ducks (or in Chick-Fil-A's case, cows) will fall into place.

Love you,
Steph

A Dip in the Shallow End

2010-05-12T15:08:00.000-05:00

Though there's not a whole lot in the way of news at the Poor House, I thought I would post a quick update on the three of us (including some things we are praying about - please join us) before May is completely out the door. (It's that time of year where our days are just packed with plans - from graduations, to weddings, to concerts - you name it, it's on our calendar for the month of May.)

Little one first...

Rylie is astonishing us daily with how much she is growing and even more with how much she is learning. We are absolutely amazed. She has learned the signs for "please" and "more"; she has learned to say the word "diaper" (although, truth be told, she says "duh-puh" mostly - on occasion, "duh-duh"); she has figured out how to climb on toys in her playyard in order to see over the playyard (and even attempt to get a leg over - she's becoming an escape artist); she walks everywhere, sometimes runs; she has developed a bit of an attitude which we are trying to curb; she loves to eat (shocker) although she is becoming increasingly pickier the older she gets (we're also trying to curb that, too). She had her first at-the-hair-dresser haircut with daddy last week, and she's moving out of the 12-month clothing into all things 18-month. Our emotions are so often bittersweet - it is the peak of joy to watch her grow, but each small spurt has a heart-breaking lining to it as the realization that our daughter is leaving behind babyhood washes over us. She still just has 4 full teeth - two on the top and two on the bottom. We're still on the look-out for more, especially on the days where her fingers don't find themselves out of her mouth for longer than a few minutes. She is truly the light of our lives.

Brandy...
Brandon is busy as ever between work, daddyhood, downtime, and mommy/daddy time. My sweetheart has been working tirelessly on the yard as spring has pushed out winter and is pulling in Summer quickly. Our yard is a thing of beauty when Brandon gets his hands on it. And thank the Lord he enjoys it - none for me, thanks - I'm good. He has a very exciting venture coming up at the end of the month. He was asked to sing a a few weeks ago at a prayer breakfast and as a result, he was also asked to sing the national anthem at a major professional sports event at the end of May! I am so proud of him & so excited for him!!

Me...
Really, I'm just wading through the end of the school year. We have roughly 14 1/2 days left from this point and all God's people said, "AMEN!" Besides that, I'm at home with Rylie, enjoying mommyhood to my sweet baby girl, and wifehood to my sweetheart.

Prayer...
Please pray for the following:
-Our friends, Mandy & Aaron. Mandy lost her dad over the weekend to a 3-year battle with cancer. Thankfully, he was a Believer, and he was ready. Pray for peace, for rest, for renewal, and strength for Mandy, Aaron, their kiddos, and each member of Mandy's family. Though they grieve with hope, they still grieve.
-Those affected by the flooding in Nashville.
-Those affected by the numerous tornadoes in Oklahoma (and praise that everyone in my family is safe!)
-A teacher in our district lost her daughter, a 30-something mom of two tiny girls, this week.
-A family we've been praying for over the last few weeks, Laurie and Jeff, lost their baby after having him just several days. He had multiple birth defects and was not expected to survive much longer than a few hours. The family was blessed to have him for nearly a couple of weeks. The loss is sharp for their family.
-Safety for so many who are beginning summer travel early.

Love you all!
-Steph

When God Shows Up

2010-05-04T09:28:00.001-05:00

It's about that time of year in Texas - the summer weather does it's best to dig in and take residence across the Lone Star state, but it ends up getting tangled in strings of cold fronts that produce little less than a thunderstorm, and often tend to wreak a significant amount of havoc in the way of lightning strikes, golf-ball-sized hail, 50+ mph winds, and even a handful of tornadoes. Yesterday, as I was driving to pick up Rylie from Rissa's, a line of threatening weather swept across the Metro. I internally debated about whether or not to take off immediately after work or wait it out a bit. When I left, the sky was ominous but it had yet to break, so I decided to make my way toward Benbrook. There is a stretch of road I take daily that has only 2 lanes and winds through nothing but wide open space - empty land that expands right out to the horizon line. I love the drive. I put on my iTunes and listen to music that moves me - typically worship. Yesterday's prominent selection was called, "Revelation Song". (If you've never heard it, it's a must - the artist is Kari Jobe. Amazing.) I've heard the song dozens of times and I know it by heart. There is a line that says, "Clothed in rainbows of living color, flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder; blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be to You, the only Wise King." It's beautiful on paper; even pretter rolling off the tongue - these have always been my thoughts. But when the line plays out loud, and suddenly, a thick bolt of hot pink lightning combs across a massive sky, and you (in all your "tininess") have nothing to hide behind, nothing to separate you from the enormity but a thin sheet of glass, a hightened perspective is reached. And even leaves you a little short of breath.

The Bible says in 1 Kings, "There he (Elijah) came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?' He said, 'I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.' And he said, 'Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.' And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?'" (1 Kings 19:9-13)

In an age where catastrophe and disaster have free reign of the Earth, the most common question on the tongues of the masses is this: If God is loving, why do these bad things happen? The question used to fluster me the way a messenger frets before the recipient of a message when the message was not clearly understood by the messenger in the first place. I would even find myself knee-deep in a conversation with a non-Believer and when he/she would ask that question, I would often be rendered stumped, turning back to the Lord and asking, "Yeah, Lord, why is that?" Sometimes God shows up in a whisper; others, it takes something bigger. C.S. Lewis said, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain; it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world." The concept was never clearer to me than when I became a parent and I saw the ugly head of a sinful nature emerge in the form of jealousy in my 1-year-old. That nature is more deadly, more dangerous than a dozen snake bites, and something in me cries out to protect her from it; cries out that there's something very wrong in it. Why? Because my Maker left an undeniable mark on me that cries out for the things of Him - truth, righteousness, mercy, grace, love. In those moments of wayward behavior, sometimes the only option to reach my toddler is the sting from a slap on the hand. I intentionally allow her to feel pain in order to save her from herself, even though she, in her child's mind cannot necessarily understand it. My Father in heaven is no different.

Over the weekend, the Discovery Channel made a very interesting observation that fits perfectly: "Indeed, when a 1994 earthquake knocked out the power in Los Angeles, many anxious residents called local emergency centers to report seeing a strange “giant, silvery cloud” in the dark sky. What they were really seeing—for the first time—was the Milky Way, long obliterated by the urban sky glow." Earthquakes. Fires. Floods. Death. Disease. Pain. Sorrow. They are here because sin is here. That cannot be undone. The only hope is to start over - a majestic newness that awaits us by the power of the blood of Jesus Christ and the grace, mercy, and love of God the Father who calls to us through the Holy Spirit. And so these devastations are allowed and reconstructed for use by a Creator who can (and will) use anything. And from the rubble will emerge structures more glorious than we could've imagined, rendering our contentment with what once was, foolish. Does it not boast of the deepest love, that God would stop at nothing to reach you?

The pain can be sharp, but the One who may allow it, will also comfort you in it, walk with you through it, and see the work He started in you through to a breath-taking finish. The Bible does not say that God will never give you more than you can handle (my friend Katie & my sweet husband made that observation - it does say that He will never allow you to be tempted beyond your ability - 1 Corinthians 10:13) - on the contrary, I believe He will. Pain should never be accompanied with questions of your ability, but rather the question of whether or not you will cast these things of heavy weight on One whose ability is never to be questioned. Draw near to Him. You will never be the same.

Love you, praying for you in whatever you face, where ever you are.

-Steph

Bucket List

2010-05-03T15:18:00.000-05:00

(Thanks, Gary! I was inspired.)

I have to confess, I think I own the movie "The Bucket List" but I don't know that I've ever watched it. I have, however, got a remote grasp on the concept though, I think. And I like it. Sooo... I thought I'd make up my own! More for my sake than yours, I apologize, but there it is. And here goes:

1. Lose 50 pounds and NOT gain it back - for both the sake of my favorite jeans that have been in hybernation for the last 4 years AND for the sake of my heart who must be angry with me by now.
2. Have at least one more baby.
3. See my children come to know the Lord.
4. Go on a mission trip.
5. Write a book.
6. Lead worship.
7. Resume oil painting.
8. Travel overseas (and have the guts to make the flight).
9. Visit Forks, Washington.
10. Meet John Piper.
11. Go fishing on the ocean.
12. Go horseback riding.
13. Have an in-home library of books.
14. Read at least 20 books a year.
15. See the Eiffel Tower in person.
16. Visit Nashville.
17. Attend a Passion conference.
18. Walk in Jerusalem.
19. Get a tattoo.
20. Learn to knit/croche

That's all I can think of for now... I'm sure I'll add more as I think of them :)

-Steph

The Importance of Intent and Other Ponderings

2010-05-03T13:21:00.001-05:00

Ever think til your head hurts? Maybe it's a quality belonging more to the anxiety-afflicted. I simply know that I have had an awful lot of headaches from taking an issue an turning it again and again in my mind, like a Rubik's cube, not really ever solving the puzzle - just causing the stickers to deteriorate from excessive wear. One of the biggest questions at the forefront of my mind these days is one of intent. In college, I was required to pour over literary theory in pursuit of a degree in English, and it was ingrained in my head that a reader is never to overlook the intent of the author when reading any literary work. It's a principle I try my best to bear in mind when I go digging in the Word. But what about intent in daily, active life? If you make a joke that some find offensive, but your heart never intended any harm, should it lessen - or even cancel out - the offense? If you share information on a friend out of concern and in an effort to plea for prayer, are you right in disclosing knowledge that was not necessarily yours to share? Or is it honorable to distribute the weight of another's burden if that is truly the intent of your heart? Or does it vary from situation to situation, as the meaning of a word varies in a given context?

Another thought that is undeniably present at the center of my mind is my walk with Christ. I said in my previous post that God has been moving heavily in our lives. He is. And, praise God, He Is. I think God moves heavily all the time, in all situations, using a wide range of means to achieve His purpose. I'm inclined to believe that it's our skewed perception that dictates whether or not we are aware of His movement. Though the depth of the path we walk is still considerably veiled, the clarity with which we now see the expanse that stretches to the right and left of us is becoming increasingly acute. So many pieces, situations, both in our lives and in the lives of others that we are able to see without understanding and yet, there is satisfaction still in the uncertainty. This is completely new to me. It's a level of trust in my God that I have not experienced before. I'm in love with it. And I'm fighting for it harder than I've ever fought. Or ever had to fight.

Our pastor preached yesterday on the armor of God (Ephesians 6) and he made an interesting point. You don't suit up for battle and expect that there will never be a battle, or suit up "just incase" - the Bible says, "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground..." (Ephesians 6:13) Not if. When. That's the whole purpose for putting on armor in the first place. Expect battle. Expect war. A person who is not digging in the Word, not walking in the Truth, cannot be seen as a threat to the enemy. Why would anyone - the devil included - exert himself to achieve an end that's already been met? I am finding the more God is my vision, the more stones the devil casts in my direction in an effort to hamper my walk with Christ or tamper with someone else's as a result.

It's a very odd dichotomy, this humanity. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, bearing the mark of my Maker, and being separated from Him, I yearn for Him - the only satisfaction and fulfillment for a God-shaped void. And yet I am also born sinful, prone to wander, and wayward. They are two magnets opposingly polarized and housed in this singular flesh, each fighting to propel the other outward. The battle rages, armed or not, and ignorance is anything but bliss.

I'm not sure just how many people read my ramblings - I know I tend to go on and on and so often get so lost in my own thought process that I neglect to update you on what's new with the 3 of us. Thanks for your loyalty in returning to read what small things I have to say in comparison with other authors who are probably so much more worth your time. Thanks also for your patience with the contents of my head - it's unmistakably mine as it is so often disorganized and strewn about. Remember the Rubik's cube I mentioned at the beginning? I started out with a great deal more to ramble about, but I've overturned what I've mentioned here so much, that I've forgotten all the rest. Ah, well. Before I wrap up though, I would, if I may, like to start something that I hope would prove vastly beneficial - to you, to me, and the Body. The Word says, "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." (Ephesians 6:18) Below you will find a list of prayer requests - some more vague than others, but (praise Him) we serve a God whose reach stretches far beyond that which we choose not to disclose. He knows, even if you don't. If you would, add these to the list of things you present before the Lord in prayer. "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (James 5:16) Thanks in advance - love you all so much!

Please pray for...
(1) Mandy - according to medical professionals, her dad will lose his battle with cancer shortly; pray for peace for their family; praise God that her father has a personal relationship with Jesus.
(2) Laurie & Jeff - gave birth to baby #8 who is not expected to survive due to multiple birth defects. Pray for healing and peace.
(3) Matt & Lauren - Matt is battling brain cancer and faithfully continuing to share the Gospel; pray for complete healing and that God would render his testimony even more potent than God has already made it.
(4) Kristin & Collin - dealing with food poisoning; pray for a quick recovery and protected health.
(5) Residents of Tennessee & Kentucky as towns and cities are ravaged by floods.
(6) United States - its leaders, its protectors, its citizens.
(7) The modern student - pressure to indulge in drugs, promiscuity, bullying, hatred, and prolonged immaturity is heavy and rampant. Pray that God would intervene in a mighty way.

The Most Delicious Fruit

2010-04-27T22:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I told you that I am significantly "blogger" illiterate, right? You'll notice there are no links up at the top. As it turns out, Blogger's genius is stunted. The "Pages" gadget is a great idea, but it's aptly named - it's a stationary entity that can really only hold one update ever, not a blog unto itself that archive posts while remaining attached to the "Home" site. So... that undoes that and it seems that all updates on all Poors will have to find themselves at home on the same "page". I like it just as well, so it's no loss.

There is really not much to update you on, but I have a sweet story to share. Our good friend, Clint, posted a comment to his Facebook page today that read, "I find that I weep all the more I know my Lord. My eyes are blood-shot and glassy daily." I could not have said it any better myself if I had months to pick the words. When I was little, we lived in Colorado for a couple of years. Our home was located in a quiet neighborhood and I remember my room had the most amazing feature: a window seat, a very large window seat. We could see the Rockies from our deck, and from my window seat, the whole of our neighborhood. Above the roofline across the street was the largest, most pearly white steeple I had ever seen. Perched atop the steeple, was a large, brass figurine of an angel sounding a trumpet. The structure attached to the bottom of the steeple was a sight to behold, impressive in its size and even intimidating in its presence. But as beautiful as the architecture was, the reason for the building's existence was anything but. My window seat gave me my first exposure to the Mormon church. One weekend, we had some friends of my parents come to stay with us for a few days. They had 3 young daughters - the oldest was roughly 4 or 5 years younger than me (and I was 9 or 10 at the time). Their dad was a pastor at a church in their hometown in Oklahoma. One particular evening, their family had been out on their own and when they came back to our house, the oldest of the 3 girls was tearfully upset. I listened as her dad recounted the reason for her feelings. Apparently, while they were driving home, they passed the Mormon temple. Taken in by its beauty, the girl pleaded with her dad to visit the church. He explained to her that the church did not believe as they did. "What do you mean, daddy?" she asked. "They don't believe in Jesus, honey - not the way we do," he told her. "Then, that means they're not saved, dad. We need to go talk to them." When her father continued past the establishment, and came back to our home, she became very upset, impressed upon by the idea that they had a mission. And it was urgent.

That memory has stayed with me for over 15 years. I found the clarity of it exceptional after I experienced a joy of my own this afternoon. I came home today, exhausted, from a long day of state testing combined with very little rest last night. However, I was determined to spend the remainder of my day enjoying the company of my own daughter who had been with our sweet Simpsons since this morning when I dropped her off. We sat in the driveway for a while blowing bubbles until the descent of the sun left us in the shade and we found the weather to be too chilly to stay outside. When we came in, I put her down while I fixed her a bottle and plugged my iPod into a dock to listen to music. As she was finishing her milk, a Newsboys tune came on. "It's the song of the redeemed rising from the African plains; it's the song of the forgiven drowning out the Amazon rain..." I went to the Pack-n-Play where Rylie was now standing, and scooped her up into my arms. We swayed to the music as I sang. "It's all God's children singing, 'Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! He reigns!'" The song is exclamatory and it moves me to worship every time I hear it. So, with Rylie in one arm, and one arm stretched out toward the ceiling, I shut my eyes in worship of the God I sang about. When I opened my eyes, I looked down to see the face of my daughter, staring at me with an expression of wonderment, and her tiny, 1-year-old arm was stretched out to the ceiling, just like mine. And then my sweet baby girl leaned in to give me a kiss.

At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure." Luke 10:21

It would take so much time and so much space to tell you all that God is doing with us lately. Habits are being adjusted and new ones created, and the least I can say is this: God is moving in us, around us, and (praise the Lord) even through us. I am in awe, and often in tears. Our family has been through a series of rough patches, and though we are not out of them yet, we are emerging into a richer faith, a deeper knowledge of God, and a satisfaction in Him that is unlike anything we have ever known. Thank you for your prayers for us - our God is faithful, and He is listening. We love you very, very much and pray His richest blessings on you.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. - Ephesians 3:14-21

Poor House Renovations

2010-04-23T10:49:00.000-05:00

I am in NO sense a blogging expert - beyond the ability to simply open a computer window, pound the keys, and then click "Publish Post", I'm about as "blog illiterate" as it gets. However, I've stumbled across something fun and I'm going to give it a shot. I have a couple of blogs I write on (see "Our Other Projects"), but I am currently considering a little consolidation by way of the genius idea of Blog Pages. You will notice just above the post, there are links that say "Brandon", "Stephanie", and "Rylie". In the future, instead of venturing away to 16 other blog sites, click the tab of the person listed to see what's going on with them! Genius idea, Blogger! I will most likely still keep up with Bondage Project (although the bitter taste currently in my mouth is that of eating my words, as I have done VERY poorly in keeping up with that one over the last 2 months) and photocutes is in debate. All else will be focused here. This has been a Poor House Public Service Announcement - we now return you to our regularly scheduled programming.

Must-See YouTube

2010-04-21T14:15:00.001-05:00

Found these a long time ago and they break my heart. Thought I'd share. (Two videos - may require a little scrolling :))

Love you,
-Steph

99 Balloons

Cardboard Testimonies

Just the Facts

2010-04-09T09:09:00.003-05:00

The last couple of months haven't really afforded much time to sit and write in general and when I have, it's been a means of coping with some rough patches we've hit, addressing some deeper issues and skipping over the family updates. I decided that since we have some family members who like to keep up with us via blog, I would break the streak and return to some of the tradtional roots of The Poor House. Here's where we're at (Danie, I started writing this on the 9th and it's taken this long to finish it - thanks for your Facebook post! Big hugs, girl!):

Brandon:

B has been occupying a multitude of hats these days - when he's not busy with work (and all the excitement that includes), he's at home being Daddy, running errands, keeping track of appointments, vet visits, house up-keep, etc. One of the rough patches we've hit has involved our pup (a german shepherd), Maya. Maya became a member of the Poor House roughly a year after we got married. If I haven't mentioned it before, let me take the time to do so now: Brandon has worked ridiculous hours with this dog - Maya is exceptionally trained and extremely obedient, loyal, and easy-going as a result. Within about a week's time, Maya went from being a robust, thick, healthy dog to being half-hairless and seemingly emaciated. We were completely floored. We made a run to the vet and after a couple hours in the office (and $350 down the drain), we were told that she most likely has a skin allergy that either relates to her food or her surroundings. Half the expense came from a medication that was described to us as a cureall (which was supposedly the reason for the steep cost - the stuff is supposed to be stout and effective). After two weeks on the medication, some of Maya's hair started to grow back, but there was no ceasing to an all-over itch (that she couldn't help but scratch) and there was not much progress in the department of weight gain. Bran and I made an executive decision to take her in to another vet, seeking a second opinion and fearing that the issue may be more severe than an allergy. Now, I realize that I'm talking a great deal more about the dog than Brandon, and this is supposed to be about Brandon. What you have to realize is this: Maya is Brandon's baby. She belongs to the both of us, but in truth, Maya has always been extremely special to B. After the second vet visit, we were told that it is indeed (or at least, most likely) a skin allergy - a very severe one. The kind of allergy that requires shots. Every month. Brandon and I were at a loss. Of course we want to be the best providers we can be for our dog, but we also live up to our name more often than not, and really aren't in a position to swing $100-$300 a month for shots. Our prayer is that the med she's on at the moment will be sufficient enough for a while until we can get to a more permanent solution. We certainly don't want to put her down (yes, it got that bad), and we don't want to get rid of her either. Other than dealing with puppy issues, being a phenomenal dad, and keeping busy with work, there isn't much else to report on B.

Rylie:

Oh, goodness - where to start? My baby is a full year old, and rounding the corner at a fast pace toward 13 months. She's starting eating solid foods, we're in the process of abolishing both bottle and pacifier, she's leaped into 18-month clothing, she's somewhere in the neighborhood of 22 lbs., and she's around 31 inches long. She finds Maya fascinating. She says things like, "Hi dad", "dog", and "all done". She's picked up on some sign language as well and she's finally learned that standing up in the tub is NOT a good thing. She thinks burps and toots are hilarious. She has 4 full teeth (2 on the top and 2 on the bottom) and she's cutting 2-5 more (drool city at the Poor House). She got her first little haircut about a week ago - her hair was growing in a bit of mullet, so mommy made an executive decision and gave her a trim. Broke my heart a little to do it. She took her first steps on March 8th and as of today, though she's still fairly wobbly at it, she's prefers to walk more than crawl. She's even able to push herself up into a standing position from sitting in the middle of the floor. She's beginning to establish her own opinions about what she likes and dislikes - STRONG opinions. I made an attempt to feed her peas and pineapple the other evening at the Simpsons and she locked her lips together in protest when I tried to feed her either. She'd eaten peas before but the pineapple was new. After a few minutes of alternating between stares at her friend Maylee (who was eating similar foods) and stares at the food on the tray in front of her, she decided she'd try some of the stuff for herself - ate the whole thing, the little booger. We had our first experience with sitting in the grass last week as well - she established quite a stout opinion on that topic, too. I have pictures to prove it (I hope to post them as soon as I can figure out how to upload them to my uncooperative computer at home). Evidently, it's "on the grass with a blanket or not on the grass at all" for Roo. A girl after my own heart, I have to admit. After so much debate about what she'd look like as far as hair and eye color, I'm proud to say that our daughter, whose parents are both dark-headed (one with blue eyes and the other with brown), is fair-headed, fair-skinned, and blue-eyed. Beautifully blue-eyed. If I had the guarantee that they'd be just like her and the means to support them all, I'd gladly be mommy to 5 more. While it will most likely only be 1 more, it's an exciting thought to think about Roo being a big sister someday. She'll be great at it, I think.

Stephanie:

The majority of the "excitement" that exists in my individual life, is completely internal. God is moving in so many ways. Rough lessons are being learned and at the same time, they have the sweetest aftertaste (Praise Jesus). I've been saying it for a year now, but I'm in desperate need of weight loss. I'm discovering the depth - or maybe "span" is a better word than "depth" - of the effects my weight loss has had and, praise the Lord, it's begun to add fuel to a fire of desire and self-discipline to finally get rid of it. So much is tied into it though, I'll have to add a separate post on the Bondage Project about it later. Outside of that, I'm still wrestling with the bittersweet revelations that continue to wash over me in smaller waves concerning Tiff's death and death in general. It's even spawned an idea for a book. I'm about to kick off the research process once school starts to wind down and I hope that a couple of months will be sufficient enough for me to develop a well-rounded background knowledge to begin flushing out the bulk of the thing later this summer. I've always felt that I've got some type of Writer's ADD - I've never felt like I've had the patience to commit myself to a full-fledged book. Short stories was about as far as I would ever get. My idea technically takes a few short stories and weaves them into one underlying work, so maybe the process of writing this one will come a little easier in the dedication department? We'll see. Prayers would be appreciated! Speaking of writing, as time allows, I've been attempting to be more wholly-devoted to my other passion (photography) in the hope that it might turn into something I can do to help support my family and eventually stay home with Rylie and any other children we're blessed to have. I'm hoping that between publications and photographs it will make for a great stay-at-home occupation. Again, we'll see. Again, prayers are appreciated! I enjoy teaching a lot, but anyone who would look at a teacher and see an 8-4 job with summers off is kidding themselves. So much of an educator's responsibilities bleed outside of a specific time slot and by the time late May or early June arrives, the summer break feels fully earned. (A teacher's attitude is so different as the months progress - can you tell it's April?)

Poor Relations:

I thought it might be fun to update you on some of the things that are going on in the Poor neighborhood - some of the news from our family and friends.

Brandon's cousin, Domi, just signed on with Colorado State to play golf on their women's team. Domi has taken the state of New Mexico by storm as far as golf goes and we are so proud of her!
My grandad on my mom's side underwent a knee replacement surgery in late February and is nearing the "fully recovered" mark! His initial recovery was quite rocky - a lack of normal kindney function hampered his release post-surgery, but nearly 2 months later, he's nearing the end of his therapy days and everything seems to be terrific working order.
The Poor Family will see a new addition in a couple of months as Brandon's cousins, Justin & Nikki, will welcome their daughter, Gemma, into the world. Gemma will make great-grandaughter #2 for Brandon's grandparents. We are so excited for them!
My brother, Tanner is finishing up his last month in his grade school career as he gets ready for his high school graduation! Someone pinch me, I suddenly feel old.
Our good friends, Ashleigh Gaston and Matt Horner, are getting closer and closer to their wedding date which is now just weeks away! It's been a blessing to be involved in their lives as they get ready to make this transition.
Sound Kitchen (music company belonging to our sweet Fort Worth Simpsons) has a new addition, The Vespers! Check 'em out!
Our Tennessee Simpsons are anticipating the latest release from Bryan's band, Cadillac Sky, called "Letters in the Deep". I've heard it. You should get it.

I think that's about it for us. We love you & hope you're doing well!

-Poors

The 48-Hour Survey

2010-03-26T09:20:00.004-05:00

Sigh. If you read the post I put up a couple of days ago, I offer you both my gratitude and my apologies :) That was an "under the weather" day - pick your favorite weather-related analogy: tornado, tidal wave, blizzard, hurricane... they all fit. Today, I find, is the day to survey the damage, or maybe the lack thereof. In Texas, we get weather. Serious weather. Usually, the mother storms show up in the Spring & Fall, but unlike so many other states whose weather is consistent in its severity, Texas tends to err on the side of unpredictable. For that reason, we tend to roll our eyes at our weathermen a bit more than other members of the Union. If he calls for 3 inches of snow, expect to see dry roads or be snowed in; if he calls for rain, expect a few clouds or a torrential downpour and a tornado or two. As preparedness goes, we're all over it, even to the point that it either makes us skiddish (thank you, drivers who go 15 miles below the speed limit in sprinkles) or a little too relaxed (these would be the folks standing - or sitting - on their front porch "sky watching" in the middle of a tornado warning). The one thing most of us have in common is a sincere sense of relief when the predictions for disaster wind up being overstatements rather than omens - and most of all, when the storm is over.

My own experience is something like this. I am progressing along the path of life in my ordinary contentedly fallen and godless condition, absorbed in a merry meeting with my friends for the morrow or a bit of work that tickles my vanity today, a holiday or a new book, when suddenly a stab of abdominal pain that threatens serious disease, or a headline in the newspapers that threatens us all with destruction, sends this whole pack of cards tumbing down. At first I am overwhelmed, and all my little happinesses look like broken toys. Then, slowly and reluctantly, bit by bit, I try to bring myself into the frame of mind that I should be in at all times. I remind myself that all these toys were never intended to possess my heart, that my true good is in another world, and my only real treasure is Christ. And perhaps, by God's grace, I succeed, and for a day or two become a creature consciously dependent on God and drawing its stength from the right sources. But the moment the threat is withdrawn, my whole nature leaps back to the toys: I am even anxious, God forgive me, to banish from my mind the only thing that supported me under the threat because it is now associated with the misery of those few days. Thus the terrible necessity of tribulation is only too clear. God has had me for but forty-eight hours and then only by dint of taking everything else away from me. Let Him but sheathe that sword for a moment and I behave like a puppy when the hated bath is over - I shake myself as dry as I can and race off to reacquire my comfortable dirtiness, if not in the nearest manure heap, at least in the nearest flower bed. And that is why tribulations cannot cease until God either sees us remade or sees that our remaking is now hopeless. (C.S. Lewis)

I found this in reading this morning and who can say God's ways are not mysterious or His timing imperfect? I'm in my 48 hours. There is a break in the weather and the devastation of two days ago is not what I expected when my heart was in the thick of it, nor is the storm I got caught in as large as it felt (hindsight is invaluable). I am thankful for both, but saddened to admit the depth of a sinful character trait: cowardice. I am so prone to pitch in the towel when the weather gets nasty. The saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." That's me. It should say, "When the going gets tough, the tough dig in and stay put." I got up this morning and read Colossians as a part of collaborative accountability effort with a family God has established using Brandon & me, as well as a few of our dearest friends. However, my heart has been walking in Romans:

What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful. We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:7-25)

Thank You, Lord, for bad weather, for good weather, and the discernment to know the difference. Extend this 48-hour window, Lord; be ever-present and let us be ever-broken. "Oh, my God, shine Your light on us, that we might live - shine Your light, shine it down; let Your rescue come for us, we long to love." (Robbie Seay)

-Steph

The Breathing Season & the Snare

2010-03-24T14:14:00.005-05:00

I have had a picture in my head this week of a girl standing on a median in the middle of a busy street, cars flying at her from both directions, then passing her in a streaking blur. It feels today that, in a month's time, my world has come at me. The spectrum of flying objects is wide and varied, ranging from feather-weight items that merely make my nose itch, like spring cleaning, the endless string of colds and bugs, and entering grades for progress reports. Then there are objects as illusive as a cloud but as weighted as a watermelon that have knocked the breath from me and left me bruised, like losing Tiffany and even my daughter's first birthday; the things that are hard to believe and have the faintest smell of regret on them - the things I wish I would've savored more.

The January-to-March season has been crowded and chaotic and I am weary, worn, and tired. As a result, I find myself abnormally vulnerable. On any given day, I am a weak individual; a sinner doesn't exactly have a golden immune system when it comes to snares, stumbles, and pitfalls. However, under these given circumstances, and for lack of a better comparison, I feel like I have contracted some kind of spiritual HIV. The enemy is unloading an arsenal of traps along my path and I have repeatedly taken the bait: I have said things I shouldn't have that (I'm sure) have made others ,who are not so well-acquainted with me, question my character; I have subjected relationships (and people) both privately and publicly to unreasonable scrutiny, as if I were in a place to find fault with them; everything - EVERYTHING - irks me, to the point that my irritation almost becomes hateful; and worst of all, these things roll in like a tide and in the moments between "episodes", I am rational, I am focused, and my God-given discernment that tells me, "You should know better," flickers for a moment, before I let the enemy enter with a sleeping bag of guilt, embarrassment, and shame, and I am overcome by an urge to crawl in it, hide, and weep.

When I get caught in a moment of frustration, I want so badly to rattle off, "Look, I've got grades waiting on me, parents to tend to, emails to write, adjustments to make, plans to upload, lessons to teach, paperwork to fill out, laundry to wash/dry/fold/put away, dishes to wash/put away, a child to feed/change/play with/look after, a meeting to attend, a conference to attend, a website to update, keys to find, weight to lose, a loss to cope with, a marriage to invest in, closets to purge, a party to plan, groceries to buy, a car to maintain, an interview to attend... and so many other things to name! And none of these things include a quiet moment for me or my thoughts! I don't want to complain or make excuses for myself; only for someone to draw near to me in understanding and help a wretch to cope with a wretched world." My Jesus fits the bill every time. And yet, even after the Spirit draws near, I ache for a place where my Christ is palpable.

We need a breathing season at the Poor House. Prayers are so appreciated - love you.

-Steph

Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. - Psalm 31: 3 & 4

Let me know that You hear me, let me know Your touch; let me know that You're near me, and let that be enough. - Switchfoot

With Hope

2010-03-09T09:07:00.003-06:00

On March 8th, 2003, I showed up to 6004 Bayhill Dr. in a gray Ralph Lauren sweater and my favorite pair of jeans. I was nervous. The resident whom I had come to see had promised me dinner and a movie - little did I know that I would get a homemade meal that he cooked himself and watch a movie that would terrify me which, as a result, forced me to seek comfort beneath his arm that he willing wrapped around my shoulder. It was my first date with the man I would marry. On March 8th, 2010, in the company of two of our dearest friends, our daughter Rylie took her first independent steps across the Simpsons' living room. The same day, my beloved cousin, Tiffany (Fowler) Tiffin, went to be with Jesus. The complexity of life, its fragility, and the blindness we have to its brevity have me considerably dumbfounded today.

I woke up this morning at 3:30, thankful to have a break from a headache I've been fighting now for 5 days and the resulting nausea as well. I could not, however, escape the throws of grief. The wickedness and the sinister nature of sin has never been more visible than in the presence of death. The "sting of death" that is so often referred to in funeral songs as being absent has become something of a misnomer to me. The sting of death is absent for those in Christ who are deceased; for those of us who remain here, the sting is not absent. On the contrary, it is acutely painful and potentially poisonous. There will be no sting in death for us when we are the ones in a casket; the sting is lost in the promise of eternity (given to those who have been saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus), which does not begin until we have been claimed by the wages of sin - death.

I am broken-hearted - for my family, for her family. Tiffany was 20 years old and a newlywed - she married her husband, Jake, less than a year ago. She was a nursing student. She left from college yesterday around 2pm in drizzly conditions, southbound on Hwy 9 (infamous road in Oklahoma). A 24-year-old man in a truck with a welding trailer, veered left of center and hit her head-on, sending her off onto the shoulder, killing her instantly. Jake's dad drove past on his way home and recognized the car, called highway patrol and was told there was 1 fatality. He circled back and noticed Tiffany's purse at the accident and knew immediately whom the vehicle belonged to. The young man in the truck was taken by ambulance to a hospital, treated, and released. There has been an outpouring of responses on Tiff's Facebook, each saying the same thing: you are with Jesus. Those around her knew where she stood in life, and we take hope in knowing where she stands this morning. Praise Jesus, that though we mourn (and mourn with an inexplicable depth), we do NOT mourn as those who do not have hope. A friend of Tiffany's posted this to her Facebook and I find I am clinging to it today:

"If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." - Romans 14:8

Love you all.
-Steph

A Gushing Well

2010-03-04T08:46:00.006-06:00

Those of you who know me personally, know I could talk the head off a mule. Those of you who follow my musings, know I could "write" the head off one, too. Without wanting to beat a cliche to death, my brain can, truly, best be compared to a hamster in a wheel. If you've ever owned a hamster, you may be familiar with the fact that a hamster will return to its wheel - especially in the middle of the night, as several species of hamsters are nocturnal - incessantly; even to the point that its life is cut short from an excessive running. That's my brain - the "on" switch is duct taped flush with the surface and the "off" switch is about a millimeter in diameter and buried in a dusty corner behind a mountain of books. I gush a lot. As a result, I find myself particularly (and heavily) convicted by Scriptures like Ecclesiates 5:1-3: "Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words." I have a bad dream in which there are two scenes: In the first, I get to heaven and God is there with a ticker that has over 10,000 dials, each with a digit ranging from 1 to 9, and the dials spin out of control, tallying the number of words I've said and shouldn't have. Some simply evidence of wasted energy (these may be among them), some even criminal. "But then," my hamster wheel wheezes, "there are still some words that need saying; words that aren't uttered enough." Therein lies the second scene (which, truthfully, I find even more terrifying than the first): I get to heaven and God is there with a second ticker that has only 10 dials, again each with digits ranging from 1 to 9, tallying the number of words that, whether directly or just in their nature, pointed to Christ. Worst of all, more than half the dials read "0". A remedy is needed.

My life is a "cup runneth over" kind; the well of my existence is rich with a multitude of blessings my God has been gracious to bestow on me. Of course one of the largest is my family. I am the product of a marriage that was sadly broken not long after my life began. But, praise Jesus, like a forest that's been torched, God has rebuilt what was laid to waste, and instead of one loving father and one loving mother, I am the proud daughter of 4 parents, and equally as joyful, I am the proud sister to 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My parents inspire me. My dad, Billy, is an electrician. He works with his hands in cramped attics of under-construction homes, without heat in the winter or air conditioning in the torrid temperatures of the Oklahoma summers. My daddy loves big; a shining example of a man who entertains angels. The respect I have for him is immeasurable, and the pride I have in being his daughter is, too. If there are any sort of lines in heaven, my mom, Lisa, would be granted the spot at the head of several. Growing up, we had a homemade meal every night around our kitchen table. My mother was not only the chef, but the voluntary server, too. After laying out a beautiful meal, she took up our plates and gave us each our portion before taking any for herself; a principal she modeled in so many areas of her life. She is irreplaceable. My dad, Steve, has been a phenomenal demonstrator for me of what it is to be a Believer. Growing up in his house, I have learned more about worshipping my Christ than I could have ever hoped to learn elsewhere. My heart follows so much after my dad's, both through the music we love and the easy conversations we fall into on a regular basis. I wouldn't be where I am today without him. My Oklahoma mama, Teresa - I can't bear to call her my step-mom anymore; it seems like a derogatory remark in light of what she is to me and so many others - is a foot-washer. She exemplifies what it is to be the hands and feet Christ it seems with every move she makes. I grew up listening to her pray with her children, foster an environment that allowed them the freedom to explore and discover their passions, and watching her love the Lord, even if she was sitting behind the wheel of a car. She has fought a fight against breast cancer and been both mortar and rock for the rest of our family in the process. My brothers, Tanner and Jordan, are unbelievable young men in Christ, standing up daily for what they believe in, holding tight to the godly principals they will convert into legacies. They are daily becoming my "older" younger brothers. My sisters, Charity and Danae, are the definition of beauty. They are sweet-spirited and graceful, both with a maturity that would pass them off for much older than they are. Along with my immediate family, I am blessed with a handful of matriarchs and patriarchs who've inspired my parents to be the parents they are - my grandparents are my source of wisdom and guidance, godly men and women all. I praise Jesus he's allowed me to know them. Add to this long list a slew of men and women - each of an equal caliber to those above - that make up Brandon's incredible family, and I am a woman truly blessed.

Apart from my flesh and blood, the people who make up my heritage, God has infinitely blessed me with a family of my own. So many of you know Brandon, but I am privileged to be the only earthly person apart from himself to know him best. What a privilege that is! I don't know anyone who has a bigger heart than my beloved husband. After knowing him for 7 years, and being married to him for 4 1/2, I run out of words that fit for him - he is the one person who leaves me completely speechless. To say that I love him feels lacking in depth; my heart is wholly his and I cannot imagine my life without him. A similar statement can be made about our daughter, Rylie - we cannot imagine being without her, and we often ask each other what we did with ourselves before she arrived. She is utterly precious to us both; she is enchanting and has us both falling in love all over again on a daily basis. I would love 4 more babies just like her! (Though I don't know if we could manage 4... well, 1 more at least :))

Boasting in the Author of all, would be lacking in my mind if I failed to mention our other "family". We have a string of couples - Simpsons, Days, Simpsons, Farleys - who walk with us day-in and day-out as husbands, wives, moms, dads, and most importantly, Believers. Our time with them is treasured and we often leave them, wishing we lived in similar neighborhoods so that we could see them more often. These brothers and sisters of ours have been our leaning posts and evidence of the rescue and deliverance found in Christ. We love them deeply.

As I said, my life is a cup that overflows, a gushing well. These people that live and breathe and testify to the grace of God by simply being near to us, are precious! And we don't tell them that enough - I don't tell them that enough. We are not promised the next second, only life in Christ Jesus when the seconds have run out. Do the people you love know it?

Rainy Days & Mondays

2010-03-01T12:30:00.003-06:00

... and today just happens to fall beneath both categories. I don't have an abundance of time this afternoon, but I've had the writing bug for the last few hours and I'm at a breaking point, craving an outlet and a little bit of release from a heavy concentration of obstacles. I'm making a preemptive apology - this post may get a little heavy-handed.

We've finally arrived at the month of March... after spending the entirity of February between doctor's offices, emergency rooms, and immediate care clinics. We are, in a word, exhausted. We started out the second month of the year battling insignificant viruses - Rylie had a small cold that she shared with both Brandon and me. Then we upgraded our sickness status to some more moderate ailments, like a nasty stomach bug Rylie inherited a little more than a week ago, and bronchitis, which pummeled me around the same time. Over the weekend, it looked like the sun was going to show up; the bronchitis was dwindling and the stomach bug was nowhere in sight. But, evidently, February was not to be a restful month for the weary. Our precious 11-month-old has picked up a nasty upper respiratory "thing", which we can safely assume is the product of my bronchitis, and we find ourselves once again in the throws of an illness. We are so thankful that these turbulent conditions that've hovered over the Poor house haven't been anything more severe than a string of simple viruses. We're blessed to know wonderful people who are weathering challenges comparable to a hurricane, whereas we feel like we've relocated and spent February in Seattle. Even so, we're finding ourselves feeling a little more worn than usual and we're beginning to go a bit stir-crazy with cabin fever.

It seems that these are the scenarios that repeatedly see me losing my footing. Persistent downpours are compounded by stress at work and busy schedules that don't allow for much in the way of rest and recovery. Important to-do's wind up missing from the lists that help to budget my time and I wind up falling shamefully behind. The Christ within me claims, "I am sufficient enough for you," but my wicked heart has the audacity to question it. I want to cry out, "Lord, this constant dripping on my head is torturous and what is being done is not enough! I cannot withstand this much longer. Where are you?" I am so thankful my God uses whispers and quiet nudgings. "Feelings are dangerous," I hear Him say, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9.) I came across this passage in Bible study a few weeks ago - my thirst for the Word has been fierce over the last couple of months and my hands - praise Jesus - have gotten gloriously dirty from digging. So sweet and swift the rescue that comes from unearthing the Truth in the Word! I am ashamed to say how recent a revelation that is for me - "getting into the Bible" has been dangerously low on my list of priorities. And yet, I have always referred to it as "The Word" - the same title by which Christ Himself is called the Gospel ("The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." - John 1:14); the same entity that is said to have been here from the beginning, intimately interlaced in the character of God ("In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." - John 1:1). It has become my source of ultimate sustainance when my spirit has become threadbare and tired. But my heart is still wicked, still writhes, as I am given over in death to be made new in Christ. Learning to weather these things in patience, allowing the sound biblical foundations laid in my mind to dominate the wayward tendencies of my heart, is proving to be a sincere challenge. And, for the moment, I am in the thick of it. Small battle; great impact.

If I may, please pray for us as we wage these wars on so many planes. Pray for peace, for healing, for restoration, and ultimately for His glory! We love you & are praying for you as well!

-Steph (Poors)

Sidelined

2010-02-18T08:44:00.004-06:00

I have a few blog spots running now and I'm behind on all of them. I couldn't quite decide where to post this but I thought that since there's quite a bit about all 3 Poors that I would like to include, I'd post it here.

I'm not quite even sure where to begin. This post is a bit more... labored? I would say that it's been a rough week for us but I believe it would be more truthful to say that it's been a rough month. The "Plague" hit the Poor House about three weeks ago. Rylie came down with her 7th or 8th cold and illnesses in our family prefer us to share, so within a week or so, I started coming down the bug as well. At the same time, I was also dealing with a couple of other health issues - some acid reflux and even a small lump that arrived out of nowhere. So, as Rylie got better, I settled in to deal with a killer cold. After one of a few doctor visit, I was given an antibiotic to kick the lump (thought maybe to be a swollen lymph node fighting off a bacterial infection), and the doctor had hoped it would kill two birds with one stone and kick the cold as well. After nearly a week on the antibiotic, the cold subsided but the lump remained. Around the same time, our beloved cold made a house call to Brandon's immune system and he joined the list of invalids in the Poor house. Colds are pretty nasty to deal with on their own, but then on Monday, we added "gastorinteritis" to our list of illnesses when Rylie started throwing up uncontrollably. Brandon and I stayed up with her from 9 until around 2 when the vomiting finally tapered off. On Tuesday, she seemed to be doing much better until that evening we through diarhea in the mix. Wednesday saw an increase in the diarhea and a return of the vomiting as well as a round 2 with a cold for me. By Thursday afternoon, I found myself at a local clinic getting a second antibiotic for a nasty case of bronchitis. I have the most minor struggle with asthma known to man - it never shows its face until chest congestion becomes an issue, and then we get into hospital visit territory. Speaking of which, upon my return home Thursday evening, Rylie still was not feeling well, not eating or drinking well, and we'd had enough of worry, so we loaded up and took her to the ER.

I have to say that the ER visit, in hindsight, made for a humbling parallel to life around here lately. Brandon and I have been making serious strides in our walks with Christ - we've both been digging deep in the Word on a daily basis; we've been actively involved in bible studies; I've been trying to write at least twice a week in association with my bible study for accountability and enrichment of my walk with Christ; we've been attending our beloved Village and making arrangements to attend membership classes to officially join; we've been blessed by convictions of the Holy Spirit and have been led to make some adjustments in how we're living; and just generally feeling like we're finally drawing closer to where we should be as Believers. Somebody said once that your spiritual sense of awareness should be exponentially hightened in moments where things seem to come easy, and again, in hindsight, that seems to be very sound advice. After being bombed with illnesses, we started also facing hurdles at work (general busyness), difficulties keeping up with things at home, and various other irons that were simultaneously thrown into the fire. Sound piece of advice #2: the devil delights more in stalled spiritual productivity even more than the initial act that caused it. In short, our shortcomings related to our physical health and tempered schedules found us spiritually sidelined in the midst of the chaos. If only the devil would bear in mind that my God is ever faithful! He proved Himself to me for the zillionth time in the middle of a crowded ER - which is humbling in itself to think that the God who is not to be tested proves Himself to the wretched time and time again, revealing His compassion, His might, and laying low the word "worthy" in the Light of His glory! The circumstances are shameful on my part, but praise Jesus for the eyes to see shame, and thus a need for Him. As we sat behind an exam "curtain", pacing as Rylie grew fussy and even started breaking out in a rash, my patience was wearing dangerously thin as the realization settled on me that we'd been there for nearly 2 hours without seeing a glimpse of a doctor. The wrath of mamas can be hellacious and mine around 9 o'clock last night was certainly no exception. In fact, in that moment one would have been hard-pressed to convince me that there was any emotion more potent, more all-consuming than the indignant fury of a mother concerned for the well-being of her child. About 60 seconds later, though, the Spirit rendered me corrected. As I peeled back the curtain, heated and single-minded, I caught a glimpse of a scene behind an opened curtain just across from us: a little girl, maybe 6 years old, was laying on a hospital bed, attached to an IV, and limp, as her mother clutched her hand and stared tiredly at a nurse who was updating the girl's medical chart. There was no going home for them that night. Maybe not the next night, either. My heart was instantly broken and flooded, praise Jesus. My kid had an upset stomach and a rash. We could be patient and wait for the doctor. I have never been so grateful, so thankful in all my life as I was leaving that hospital, my husband at my side, and our daughter in my arms. No IV's. No overnight stays. No surgeries. No casualties of an accident, a disease, a random act of heartlessness. Just an anti-nausea med on stand-by, push the Gatorade or Pedialyte, and give it a week at best. Such a blessing.

As we drove home, I had a craving for a milkshake for sheer comfort (yeah, the diet plan has been sidelined, too) and I fought hard to avoid an erruption of tears out of relief, humility, brokenness, and gratitude. I also thought heavily on Scripture that I heard Piper preach on a few weeks ago: "There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, 'Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you thin that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.'" (Luke 13:1-5.) Sin deserves death, and as we are all sinners, we will all die. What we have "earned" as sinners is devastating; the curse of the wretched. I do not deserve my child. I do not deserve my husband. I do not deserve my home, my job, my finances...any physical, material, or emotional possession I lay claim to on a daily basis, is given by way of God's grace and mercy - purely blessings that never came from me or to me by my own merit. Praise Jesus!

Christ is our all. As long as the Poor House can say that, we are well. We are so grateful for your prayers and the blessing you are to us. We love you.

-Steph

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

2010-01-19T21:49:00.002-06:00

Seriously, beautiful! After a couple of weeks of frigid temperatures, Texas is enjoying a warm spell. Of course, when these things arrive in January and the cold air starts mixing in with the unseasonably warm temperatures, we tend to be on the look-out for rough weather. Personally, I wouldn't mind a mild thunderstorm or two if it means the warmth can stick around for a little while - I think I'm just about done with the bitter cold.

Not too much to report so far this month. Rylie is growing quicker than ever. She started pulling up on anything she can get her hands on and she's even started taking a couple of steps with a mini push stroller we bought her. She hit the 9 month marker in late December and as a result, had her latest "shot" appointment. Thankfully, she only had to endure one quick stick instead of repeating history with 3 or 4 vaccines in a single visit. She is a TROOPER when it comes to doctor visits that involve vaccinations. A few seconds of whimpering after the initial poke and she's over it. Such a blessing (and one of so, so many)! She has pretty much crossed the 20-pound mark (she weighed in at 19.8 pounds about a week ago) and she's around 28 inches tall/long. We've entered a slight snag in Smiley-Rylie-ville - we've experienced our first tastes of sincere crankiness off and on over the last couple of weeks, with the attitude kicking into a higher gear more recently. Knowing Rylie though, she's never sour unless something is off, so we're keeping our eyes peeled for multiple teeth anyday. Somedays, I'm waiting for someone to walk by and pinch me to make sure that I'm not in fact dreaming - I am truly the parent of an almost-10-month-old! It is moving SO fast.

As for Brandon and I, we're moving right along as well. Brandon stays busy with work and plays hard at home on his days off, chasing Rylie around the house as she becomes more mobile by the minute. He's also been involved in a guys' bible study that's been getting a group of godly men plugged into some ministry opportunities. Meanwhile, when I'm not in Mommy-mode, I'm trying to commit to writing more often and have started writing as a part of a bible study I'm doing called "Breaking Free" (Beth Moore). The study is on escaping spiritual bondage and has been completely God-breathed for me (you can see my musings by clicking the link "The Bondage Project" under "Our Other Projects"). I'm also trying to put together a blog of shortcuts that I use when putting random things together around the house - putting together simple parties, decorating for seasons, and doing it by cutting some major corners. There's a whole lot that goes into it and so far, it's proving to be somewhat labor-intensive (a.k.a. it's moving slowly due to a lack of time and the fact that time is the project's primary fuel). I'm using as much free time as I have to simply sit in front of my computer and write - for catharsis, for documentation, for thought organization, and ultimately, in the hope that God might use it.

That's about it, folks. Not a whole lot happening at the Poor House for the moment. I will try to post a few recent picture of Little Miss as soon as I can - she's gotten a very full head of hair over the last month or so, and as teeth start coming in, I'm betting she's going to start looking like a completely different baby. We are so in love with that little girl and praise Jesus for her! We hope you are all doing well and look forward to hearing from you soon!

Lots of Love,
Poors

Boomers, Bummers, and the BCS

2010-01-08T12:25:00.002-06:00

I had planned about a week ago to sit down and post - what will probably be lengthy - a piece on our holiday adventures (and misadventures); kind of a "grand finale" for the Poor Family's 2009. But with all BCS buzz after last night's game and the writer's build-up I'm living with at the moment from a Blogspot hiatus, I decided to throw out a couple of Poor Pennies on a surprising season of college football.

I have to be honest: since my Sooners' first initial trip-up in Game 1 against BYU - the tragic incident in which my Heisman QB went out with an injury that cost him his season, and on my terf, no less - I haven't followed college football as closely as I would have if OU had a season close to what was expected of them. In fact, because I had been caught up in the chaos of a busy week returning to school, I had forgotten until nearly 9 o'clock last night that the BCS Championship was even being played. I caught up with the 'Horns and the Tide somewhere in the 3rd quarter when UT trailed 'Bama by more than 2 touchdowns. Much to my surprise, I watched the white-and-orange-jerseyed offensive line take their field position without a key player - Colt McCoy. I listened as the announcers reiterated McCoy's first-quarter demise, in which a tackle gone awry had left him with a throwing arm that felt more like a "limp noodle" instead of a dynamite athletic appendage that would not only send McCoy to the NFL, but to the top of the draft. Immediately the scenario played out like deja vu and I couldn't help thinking that somewhere Sam Bradford was watching and getting sick at his stomach. With a little less than half the game remaining, there was still hope in the time clock that McCoy's freshman stand-in could pitch enough solid passes to at least even the score. I watched through the rest of the 3rd quarter and into the 4th as Texas rebounded by way of 2 touchdowns and even a solid 2-point conversion, bringing the score to 21-24. Then the house came down. With roughly 3 minutes left in the game, Texas had horrible field position at their own 7-yard line following a punt return. Gilbert wound back to fire a pitch but before he had the opportunity to at least get rid of the ball, he was sacked by a member of his opponents defensive line. The ball fell loose and 'Bama recovered it - within 5 yards of the goal line. Texas did well to hold them for 2 downs, but a 3rd ushered in a Tide touchdown, putting Texas in a tight spot. The remaining 2 1/2 minutes of the game saw Gilbert pitch an interception that would ultimately throw the final score far in Alabama's favor and cost Texas the Title.

Though the season is over and the game is done - and it is, after all, only a game - I can't help feeling like there is so much to say. I'm a Sooner fan and despite a rotten season, I'll sport my Sooner gear proudly with the hope that next season will be better. I have also gained a lot of respect for the boys at UT. The offensive line was impressive; the defensive line was solid; Gilbert showed enormous courage under fire even stepping on the field, let alone filling in for someone as reputable as McCoy for 3 quarters in a Championship game; Shipley is a sound contender; and most importantly McCoy is an example of what an athlete ought to be. It is absolutely tragic to watch a captain, like Colt or Sam, go out injured in their final year or even more so in their final game - especially when they have so much to offer and so much rides on them. But the fire of a failure can be incredibly revealing. The eyes of a sports-loving nation watched a Heisman winner and Heisman nominee emerge from athletic (and potentially occupational) tragedy with their heads up, and even more importantly, praising Jesus publicly all the way - through tears, through disappointment, even through questions surrounding a now uncertain future. I applaud and admire them both.

As for the BCS, this season proved to be another sheet full of data that says the same thing as the past decade of seasons: the BCS is a foolish institution. Along with Texas and Alabama, Boise State and Texas Christian both had impressive seasons as well. I have heard a wide range of comments about both teams such as "They would be out of their depth playing a larger school", "They didn't play as well this season as Texas or Alabama", and my personal favorite, "They had an easy season". All of it is pure speculation, some of it made by those who believe they'll sleep better if they justify a "lesser" team's exclusion from a shot at a national championship. The bottom line: it isn't fair. The BCS bologne of giving so many teams a shot at a bowl game reminds me of the movie The Incredibles. "... and if everyone's special, then no one will be." Every other college sport has a playoff system. Why can't football? I would love to have seen TCU go up against UT or 'Bama, either one, and at the very least be able to say they were good enough to try for it.

All-in-all, the season this year played out like a well-written movie, riddled with triumph, trial, and tragedy. Though it is just a game, though there are far more important things, I am still proud to be a football fan. I look forward to an exciting '10-'11 season! Boomer Sooner!

-Steph

A Little Tuesday Morning Humor

2009-12-15T11:17:00.003-06:00

A friend of mine at work sent me this and it made me laugh so I thought I'd share it:

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,"Jesus knows you're here."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

After a bit, when he'd heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled a stereo out to disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep", the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses ," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird 'Moses' ?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus '."

HA! Hope you're having a wonderful pre-Christmas week! We have lots of new pictures of Rylie that we'll post soon. If you know us on Facebook, they're already up. Thanks so much to you all for the fantastic Christmas cards - we love getting to hear (or read) your news and see wonderful photos of your families. Just incase we get too swamped to post before Christmas, it is our prayer that Christ is the light and love in your lives this season and all year long. "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior..." (Luke 1:46b-47)

Love you all!

The Poors

Our Bundle of Joy

2009-12-11T09:39:00.004-06:00

I went to pick up Rylie from her room and brought her in our bedroom while I got ready for work this morning. However, when I went to put her down on our bed, she was soaked. Brandon I promptly removed her sleeper to change her into a clean diaper and some dry clothes, but all the necessities to do that were in her room. Because it has been so cold in the the mornings, this was our temporary alternative:

Smiley Rylie!! Have a great weekend!

See for Yourself

2009-12-04T09:36:00.003-06:00

I caught a quick video of Little Miss crawling and wanted so badly to post it but my phone has been on the fritz. Thankfully, a replacement of a SIM card yesterday has somewhat mended the issue, so I'm pleased to show off this video of our most recent mile marker. Love you all!

Mile Markers

2009-12-04T00:55:00.002-06:00

December... technically 4th, I suppose. I am up at a late hour after our sweet baby woke up fussy around 11 and we spent 30 or 40 minutes getting her cleaned up after an unexpected dirty diaper. It's funny the things that you're eased into as a parent, and then perhaps a little less humorous the number of things that feel more like baptism by fire (such as a late-night monster of a dirty diaper). Nevertheless, to have a child healthy, happy, and thriving, the diaper is an incredibly small issue to bear.

This past week has been a whopper. We propelled through Thanksgiving as though we'd be fired from a slingshot - Brandon worked last weekend through Monday & Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, we were privileged to get to spend a little "mom & dad" time together before hitting the road on Thursday & Friday for Oklahoma. Saturday found Brandon back at work and me with another round of a particularly nasty cold that has been making some serious rounds at the Poor house. We were also informed over the weekend that the man we consider to be our pastor, suffered a seizure which led to the discovery of a mass on his frontal lobe. If you are one of the few who have escaped a Matt Chandler sermon, get on iTunes and search him. Matt is a straight-shooting, no-holds-barred pastor whose Scripture-saturated sermons have been striking at my (and Brandon's) heart for the last few months - and we count ourselves among thousands who would testify to the same. Like all men, he is not perfect, but if ever in my lifetime I have seen a pastor devote himself to be a vessel that aids a large body in aligning itself with the teachings, callings, and cause of Christ, God has given that honor to Matt Chandler. We've been told by the elders at the Village Church that Matt will undergo surgery tomorrow. Please pray for him, his wife, Lauren, their 3 small children, and their families. Though we have never met Matt in person, we feel deeply connected to him and his family through the teachings we have been blessed to be a part of for the last few months. It is our prayer that God's glory is best served through healing and restoration for Matt & his family.

During our time in Oklahoma, Rylie began attempting to pull herself across the floor with just her upper-body strength. We are delighted to announce that our sweet baby girl has begun fully crawling. We are not so delighted to announce that Brandon & I will be assuming the roles of "Hawk-like Watchmen" from this point on. We plan to attack the next few months with the vacuum cleaner being left within an arms reach, the installation of child-proof locks on the cabinets, and the use of a magnifying glass to compete with our daughter's phenomenal vision when it comes to microscopic objects in/on the carpet. She she's them all. We may also be duct taping padding to corners of our coffee table, the base of our fireplace and the entire length of our tile floors... per "Mommy". I don't know that we will remember the questions we have for God now when we get to Heaven (or if they will even be worth asking), but if we do, the first I would like to ask is this: were we destined for the names our parents have given us? "Rylie" means "brave", and were it followed closely by "brazen", it would suit her better than a customized glove. She fears nothing. She goes into everything with a happy-go-lucky attitude and doesn't fully compute that there are things she canNOT do. In semi-related Rylie news, we believe we finally have our first tooth, too. I can't put into words what it is to experience these things as a parent; how extremely bittersweet these mile markers are. It is such a delight to see your child grow, but heart-breaking, too, to watch months, and suddenly years, fly past you. It's serving as a good reminder for us to drink them in while we have them.

I think that's about the long and short of it in our neck of the woods. Oh! Before I forget, THANK YOU to all of you who have prayed and continue to pray for my stepmom and her battle against breast cancer. She wrapped up her last (Praise Jesus) round of chemo a couple of weeks ago. She will go in for check-ups every couple of months from this point on and once she reaches a 5-year mark, she is considered "cancer free". I can't tell you what a blessing it is to see healing for her, what God is doing in all our lives as a result of this experience, and how much your prayers have made a difference. Just incase Christmas rushes upon us the way that Thanksgiving did, we hope your holidays are warm, blessed, and may be used to make much of Him whose birth we honor this season. We love you so much!

The Poors

Thanksgiving

2009-11-17T10:26:00.005-06:00

Dearest Friends and Family,

Without wanting to sound like a cliche or some cheesy line from a movie, I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you what I'm thankful for this year. Looking back over everything that has happened, 2009 has been eventful, to say the very least, the climax of the year's happenings culminating around 6pm last night. Brandon & I were busy making dinner in the kitchen while Rylie played in her Pack'n'Play with a few toys I left in there for her. While I was browning hamburger meat to go in last night's meal, Rylie started crying. Then screaming. Brandon & I ran to her to find her struggling to cry. I took her from Brandon and swept her throat (a no-no in hindsight, but in the moment as a panicked parent, all you can think about is the fastest means to alleviate the problem) and she wasn't breathing. Brandon took her from me and repeated my actions while I ran for the phone to dial 9-1-1. I was so frantic I could barely register where the "Talk" button was on the cordless receiver. Long story short, Brandon and I scrambled helplessly through 3 or 4 agonizing minutes of tapping on Rylie's back, her expelling large amounts of mucus (she's had a cold), and us pleading with her to breathe. Praise be to Christ, and Christ alone, the paramedics and firemen arrived to find an alert - though slightly traumatized - and breathing baby girl. Brandon and I were both ready to puke and then promptly pass out. We spent the rest of the evening with shaky tears, off and on the phone to explain the situation to so many of you who received Brandon's text asking for prayer over our baby girl. Our sweet Simpsons were even kind enough to drop by for hugs and moral support. During one of our phone calls, I found out from my dad that my younger sister, Charity, collapsed on a basketball court during a game over the weekend and was rushed to the hospital. I'm delighted to report that my sister is doing well also.

I am thankful for the air in my daughter's lungs and a clear airway to receive it. I'm thankful for her ten tiny fingers and her ten tiny toes. I'm thankful for her ability to cry. I'm thankful for Brandon and all that God has allowed him to encompass in his role as my husband and my daughter's father. I am thankful for our home that serves its best purpose housing those we love - whether its for fellowship, collective praise, or even grieving. I'm thankful for vehicles that transport my family and I safely to and from work, daycare, church, and any other errand we may find ourselves on. I'm thankful for our parents, siblings, grandparents, and extended families who are ever our solace and comfort in times of trial. I'm thankful for their health. Most of all I'm thankful for my God in heaven who deigns to hear us when we cry out to him.

A few weeks ago we listened to a pastor (Matt Chandler) talk about prayer. He talked specifically on two separate passages in the Bible - one Old Testament and one New Testament.
He discussed the second verse of chapter 4 in the book of James first: "You do not have because you do not ask." The New Testament passage was from Exodus. He talked about God's plan to kill the Hebrew people and Moses imploring God to spare them on their behalf. He said so many people "hijack" the passage and question a God who would so easily change His mind. Chandler explained it like this: God was frustrated and tired with the ways of the Hebrew people and so He came to Moses and said, "I'm killing every one of these fools and them I'm coming back to start over with you." Moses implored on the people's behalf for God to spare them, insisting that God's intent in leading His people out of slavery would be lost on the Egyptians if he killed the Hebrews in the middle of the dessert. But then if God is sovreign and righteous in His judgement, why would He relent in killing the disobedient? Because Moses asked Him to. God showed mercy on the Hebrews because Moses asked for it. That was so poignant to me. It also got me thinking: as sinners, by our own merit, we've inherited death and the grave. Jesus paid our penalties by His death on the Cross, but consider also that He went a step further than offering up His life in payment of our debts - He implored on our behalf to His Father for our forgiveness before His life here was ended. During my conversation with my dad, he said that after my sister was taken out of the gym, the people in attendance there took a moment to pray for her. Picture that for a minute: a school gym of proud parents, supportive peers, staff, coaches, and plain old sports fans, taking time out of a game to stop and pray for a student who was just escorted off the court in an apparent medical emergency - as a unified body. It gives me goosebumps. You do not have because you do not ask. In the last 12-18 hours I have thought constantly of God's mercy, His grace, and His people who have surrounded us, prayed for us, and lifted us up since the moment they learned that we were expectant parents. It is by God's grace that our daughter is living, breathing, and thriving, but I believe in my heart that His grace was delivered yesterday by way of prayer - prayer that fell on the ears of our most faithful Father who allows us to fall beneath the lavishings of His mercy on a constant, unwarranted basis.

To name each individual blessing that God has bestowed on our household just within the last week would take more time and space than I have in my possession. I do want to tell you that we count you all among the greatest of those blessings that we've been honored to receive in our lifetimes - not just within the last week - and we are so thankful for you and your faithfulness to Christ and the Body. We praise the Lord for you & love you all so very, very much.

Biggest Hugs, Warmest Wishes, and Happiest Thanksgiving,
The Poors

Wayward

2009-11-10T08:39:00.005-06:00

On the drive to pick up Rylie yesterday, I was listening to a local radio station (Christian Talk Radio) and the host was discussing the recent events in Fort Hood. She had a very interesting discussion going on, more heavily based on the released information following the shootings more than the actual event itself. After listening to her, I had to wonder, what do we do with things like this? When an unprovoked, enraging, blatant attack on our self-sacrificing military personnel - on a United States military base - happens, resulting in numerous deaths and injuries, how are we to conduct ourselves as Believers? How, in that moment, are we to be the hands and feet of Christ to the families who are now without mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, husbands, and wives, and possibly more thirsty for retribution than most of us will ever know in our own lifetime? How are we to paint the most accurate picture of Christ to an on-looking, global, Muslim community? To those in that community who would be likely to respond in kind to that of the Fort Hood shooter? To those in that community yearning for peace and fearing a backlash from the american public? Do we seek justice or mercy, bearing in mind that we are all fallen short of the glory of God, and fall beneath a pack of unwarranted blessings with every exhale in spite of our sinful short comings? I know in my heart there is a biblical line in the sand, but I find it hard to see in the midst of a dessert storm like the most recent one at Fort Hood.

I do know that in all the errors we could be making, one of the most grand would be to turn to the President as, what some articles are calling him, "the national healer". The host on yesterday's broadcast mentioned her extreme disappointment with Mr. President's decision to delay his visit to Fort Hood when precedents have been set by those men who have gone before him to be present in the midst of such a tragedy within 24 hours. I whole-heartedly agree for the simple fact that it sends a statement that our own government is bearing the weight of this issue along side those who are mourning, hurting, and even those who are merely watching. It suggests vigilance. I do think, though, that we need to shift our eyes off of a sinful man and look to God the Creator for guidance and wisdom - no matter what precedent has been set by previous heads of state. Not one will bat an eyelash unless God allows it - not even the current leader of the free world. We are a wayward people led by a wayward man. If you aren't happy with him, more than expressing your discontent with the situation, pray for him and present your concerns to God who has more control over the fate of the Oval Office and the fate of our country than you or I ever will.

People Need the Lord

2009-11-04T12:15:00.004-06:00

I started writing this entry two days ago when the movie 2012 was one of the biggest headlines on Yahoo!. With the events that have unfolded at Fort Hood, the issue discussed has become tragically ironic, and suddenly I don't feel like sticking with my original title, "2012: Save Your Money". The first half of this "article" is what I wrote 2 days ago about the movie. The second is a bit of a gear shift.

Wednesday, November 4th:
I love a good movie. In fact, before I became a mom and so much of my time became consumed by all things "mommy", Brandon & I frequented the theater often. Maybe even a little too often. In a week or two the world will witness Roland Emmerich's (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla) latest theater blockbuster, 2012. The trailers on TV make it out to be a smash hit: great actors (John Cusack, for example), epic plot (they don't grow 'em much more "epic" than the good ol' "end of the world" plot), and cutting edge special effects. Although the film is based on the Mayan calendar and the Nostradamus theory that the world will make it's grand exit in the year 2012 (which is biblically absurd - Matthew 24: 36), I have to admit my thirst for a well-made flick prompted me to consider sitting in on a showing. However, after reading a "Movie Talk" article on Yahoo! this afternoon, I'm seriously reconsidering saving my money for a better motion picture option.

In an interview - quoted by writer Jonathan Crow in his article "The One Place on Earth Not Destroyed in '2012'" - Emmerich said the following:

"We have to all, in the western world, think about this. You can

actually let Christian symbols fall apart, but if you would do this

with [an] Arab symbol, you would have ... a fatwa, and that sounds

a little bit like what the state of this world is. So it's just something

which I kind of didn't [think] was [an] important element, anyway,

in the film, so I kind of left it out."

Crow goes on to define a "fatwa" in his article:

"Traditionally, a fatwa has meant religious opinion by an Islamic scholar or imam. The term has gained currency in the West after Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini issued a death sentence in the form of a fatwa against British author Salman Rushdie for alleged blasphemies in his book "The Satanic Verses" in 1989. As a result, the Indian-born writer was forced into hiding for most of the '90s. Emmerich has no qualms about wrecking other major landmarks, however. The massive dome of St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican rolls on top of a crowd of churchgoers. The huge Christ the Redeemer statue that looms over Rio de Janeiro disintegrates."

I don't put much hope in Nostradamus or the end of the world in 2012, but this, in my book, definitely falls under the category of "just another sign of the times".

Gear shift.

I listened to a great pastor deliver a sermon a week or two ago on prayer. He said, "All of creation is groaning, 'Finish it, Lord, finish it.'" Our world, our beautiful, God-fashioned world, is shrouded in a veil of death, disease, fear, and all manner of dark things that come from a damning separation from our Creator. It's in our movies. It's in our books. It's on our TV stations in the news and the latest episode of CSI. I conducted a poll yesterday of my students after an unheard of number of missing assignments have cropped up across 3 different grades in our school. When I asked my kids, "Why is the work not being done?" 50% of them responded, "Because things are going on at home." My parents are separating. I have to work a parttime job because my family needs the money. My mom is sick and I have to help take care of her. It seems an odd thing to relate school children and missing assignments to massacres and the lastest major motion picture, but there's a distinct pattern. WE are groaning for the coming of Christ. We were born sinful and hollow, with hungers, thirsts, and a wide variety of needs. But consider this: even after our Fall, God put a plan in place. For every need we have, God created an end to meet it. Hunger, food. Thirst, water. Tired, rest. Hope, redemption, salvation - Jesus. He is the created filler for that Grand Canyon void that we all have and so often find when we get to the end of our rope. People need the Lord.

My heart and prayers go out to the hurting and my praise goes to the Father that we will know an end to it - we do not hurt like those who have no hope. If God has not reached you where you are, Believer, and shaken you awake, calling you to testify to the hope within you, it is my prayer that He finds you soon. Get up and be counted. He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus. The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen. (Rev. 22:20-21)

Morning Stillness

2009-10-20T07:15:00.002-05:00

I love music. I loooooove music. I have too many favorites to name, I love so much of it. The most recent favorite that's occupied my car stereo is Shane & Shane's last CD, "Pages". The whole CD is wonderful, but it has a couple of songs that God has used to strike at the heart of me. I've written out one before, but the second I just really HEARD for the first time yesterday. If you can, give it a listen - it's called "Embracing Accusations". The lyrics are below.

The father of lies, coming to steal, kill, and destroy

All my hopes of being good enough

I hear him say, "Cursed are the ones who can't abide."

He's right. Hallelujah, he's right!

The devil is preaching the song of the redeemed:

that I am cursed and gone astray,

I cannot gain salvation -

embracing accusations.

Could the father of lies be telling the truth of God to me tonight?

If the penalty of sin is death, then death is mine.

I hear him say, "Cursed are the ones who can't abide."

He's right. Hallelujah, he's right!

The devil is preaching the song of the redeemed:

that I am cursed and gone astray,

I cannot gain salvation!

Oh the devil is singing over me an age-old song

That I am cursed and gone astray.

Singing the first verse so conveniently, over me -

he's forgotten everything.

JESUS SAVES!

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

2009-10-13T10:08:00.001-05:00

The year is absolutely rollin'! It seems like just yesterday I was waddling down the halls of the intermediate school I taught at last year, 8 months pregnant, and anticipating the arrival of Rylie. Then, suddenly, I've blinked and it's October 13th - we're nearly 2 months into a new school year, approaching Halloween, and Rylie's 7-month birthday. For those of you we've been lacking in communication with, here's what's happening in our neck of the woods:

Rylie
Our sweet baby girl is nearly 7 months old! She strectches her vocal cords more and more every day with lots of different sounds (she can successfully say "mamamama" and "dadadada" but doesn't really know to associate them with Brandon & me); she's migrated from her swing to her crib (to her dismay) and from her Bumbo seat to her high chair (to her delight); she's sitting up on her own without assistance from Brandon or me (she does occasionally tip over); she loves just about any kind of baby food you can give her (she loves to eat - shocker - and she holds her bottle on her own); she has a full-blown giggle which she employs at the sight of Maya, when mom's hair tickles her face, and when her tummy's tickled, too; she spends more of her day playing with her swing mobile, her activity center, and her various toys rather than sleeping (like she used to); and she's nearing the 18 lbs. mark as well as the 28-inch mark, too (her growth has speed-propelled us into 9-month clothing, too). She is our big "changer" - it doesn't seem like anything is the same with her more than one or two days in a row.

Brandon:
Bran is pluggin' along at work - he's been in-and-out of trainings quite a bit this month in an effort to start exploring some various options at work. He's still heavily contemplating going back to school at some point, but it's still a very large matter of prayer (we're praying for God's timing, His will, and His blessings over our schedules, our finances, and our time management as well as for the right doors to be opened/closed for us to start moving forward - he would continue working where he is and try to tackle school at the same time, which is quite a mouthful). Brandon's grandfather has been battling a laundry list of health issues, so we're making plans to get back to Farmington and see him and the rest of Brandon's family as soon as we can. I don't know that I've ever met anyone who rolls with the punches quite like Brandon. So much of what he deals with at work would fall under the category of "Things to Never Mention at the Dinner Table... or Maybe Ever" - God has enabled Brandon to handle it so well, though, and I'm so blessed to say that the husband I see to the door in the morning is the same one I meet at the door in the evening. Rylie & I are so blessed to have him - he is a treasure in our household & our lives.

Steph:
I am pretty consistently treading water to keep the water-line below my eyeballs. Between grades, lesson plans, copies, paperwork, meetings, and a slew of other tasks, work keeps me hopping. My latest goal is to do my best to keep it contained within the 8am-4pm parameters so that the rest of my day can be devoted to the most important things (like God time, and time with Brandon & Rylie, other family, and friends). We're also making my occupation a matter of prayer right along with Brandon's. With the addition of Little Miss has come a yearning to be at home with her as much as possible. I always knew that I wanted children and I knew that I wanted that to be a part of my purpose. However, I never understood just how much of my purpose that would claim - especially in the years before she starts school herself. I am hoping to continue working next year to help Brandon support our family (and to be able to have some other small accomplishment for myself) but I'm hoping to do that around Rylie's schedule, instead of making time for Rylie around my work schedule. It's also been difficult to coordinate "Mom & Dad time", for Brandon & I to have a date or just spend time together as spouses instead of being consumed by the rolls that come with parenthood. We're hoping that may be a little simpler if my plate is cleared off a little. My family, for the most part is doing well. My mom is knee-deep in dental assistant school and should finish up within the next couple of months. My step-mom has finished up her second round of chemo and will go for her third near the end of the month. Please continue to pray for her and my family. Although she's half done with her chemotherapy, her immune system is weakened with each treatment, and all the bugs and illnesses (including H1N1) floating around pose a significant threat to her. My dad, brother, and sister are doing everything they can to keep her spirits up and cheer her on in her goal to be cancer-free. Thanks in advance for your faithfulness in this. On the silly and frivolous end of things, I'm contemplating a shorter hair cut and trying to get myself over the "hump" to weight loss - 7 months after Rylie was born and I'm missing my pairs of pre-baby jeans that have been hanging in the closet for the last year. I would love to ditch 20-40 pounds over the next few months. Prayers, please!

For the Poor House as a whole, we're in the process of finishing off our "sitting room", planting fall flowers and watching the rain - we've had to pinch ourselves on several occasions and remember that we do not live in Seattle. We have had what feels like more than a week of solid drizzly, rainy weather.

We love you all and hope everything is going well for each of you!

Lots of Love -
Poors

Smoke

2009-09-29T18:22:00.004-05:00

I want to be utterly spent,

Not to wither and fade;

To blaze and illuminate-

This is why I was made.

I don't want to be hidden

Flame suffocated and choked.

And if I burn but for a minute

Lord, make signals with the smoke!

I sat down to write this this afternoon after a verse from James tossed in my head all night last night. The above is what came out first (James 4:14 - "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a smoke that appears for a little while and then vanishes.") I am tired of living out an existence plagued by fear and grasping at a mirage that depicts safety and comfort - two things I should desire to turn from as a christian in the first place. It leaves me unfulfilled and yet exhausted. If I should lose my voice, precious God in Heaven, let me lose it in prayer or in praise - don't permit me to lose it because I chose to set it aside and use it to collect dust. If I should lose my sight, let me lose it being blinded by Your glory - "may the vision of You be the death of me." I want to get to the end of my life - whether that is tomorrow or 60 years from tomorrow - and know that I was completely spent. Instead of living my life exhausted, that my life itself would be exhausted and wrung out from excessive use, fulfilling the purposes that God would set before me. As a woman, I am not destined to be the leader of my household, but who says God cannot be an undeniable force to be reckoned with through a feminine vessel as much as He can a masculine one? I do not want to be a pampered princess in need of rescuing in some idealized bedtime story. Rather, I want to take up arms myself and plunge headfirst with my brothers and my sisters in Christ into the Fight. I refuse to be the devil's pawn, weak and pittiable. This urge - a belief that God is preparing to equip me for something so much greater than myself - has wrestled within me and in my sin, I have shut it up. But in the quiet it begins to move me to sing, to write. As I've heard said before, "Oh, if I should ever let it out!" I do not want to get to the end of my life and be shamed before the throne of God my King because I did not move myself out of the way to be wholly used and utterly spent. Lord, I want to burn and burn bright - and if I burn but for a minute, make signals with the smoke.

Treading Water

2009-09-23T10:12:00.005-05:00

I'm beginning to think that the beginning of school triggers the beginning of busyness - it's been just over a month since we last posted, and on the one hand, so much is going on, and on the other, not so much is going on. As Jane Austen would say, "Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings." Our greatest personal changes these days come in the form of Rylie.

Here's what's new with her: she will breach the 6-month mark in 5 days and begin the downward slope to a year old, which has Brandon and I both scratching our heads. She's sitting up pretty well on her own, she's overcome her first "bug" along with her first ear infection, she says "dadadada" pretty frequently (although she's yet to associate it with Brandon), she's fascinated with her "activity center", she's in 9 month clothing due to her length (she's currently in the 96th percentile - although her weight is nothing slight either; she's roughly 17 pounds), she rolls over constantly, she flexes her vocal muscles more often than not (a.k.a. she "yells"), her hair is starting to grow out, and we're on the look-out for signs of baby teeth.

As for Brandon and me, we're in a constant state of haze these days (for the brief version skip to the last paragraph). Our routines run like clockwork only in the sense that we do the same things each day - wake up, drop Rylie off, go to work, pick Rylie up, come home, eat, take care of Rylie and one or two home-related things (if we're lucky), go to sleep, wake up with Rylie once or twice, and then get up to run the same thing again. On paper, our days seem fairly straight-forward with little complication, and yet somehow finding time to keep up with the laundry, the dishes, the trash, the papers to grade, lessons to plan, meals, grocery shopping, bills, vacuuming, the influx of spiders in the house after all the rain we've had and the clutter we're attempting clear out, the yard, the dog, and a million other tiny, but necessary, responsiblities, is leaving us both tired and amazed at our parents who have accomplished these things with multiple children. I find myself in two constant states: (1) a dear caught in headlights in which all I can do is stare at the tasks before me without a clue of where to start; or (2) I'm so overwhelmed by my to-do list that I need a break before I even begin and I get sidetracked by Facebook or suddenly feel the urge to catch up on emails. I am one of those that finds simply getting started to be the most daunting hurdle.

Meanwhile, in the midst of the daze, I am 25. My husband is 30. We have a daughter. We have a nearly-6-month-old daughter. I am a fully-certified teacher. My husband is in law enforcement and has been for nearly 4 years. We own a home. We own a mortgage. We own cars and car payments. We are full-fledged adults, and while I stare, dumbfounded, at these things before us and get dizzy, I have become acutely aware of the never-ceasing movement of life as well as the speed at which it moves. (So fast that I'm asking, "How did we get here already?")

The goings-on of home are not my only reminders, either. Even though I try to make a conscious effort to stay away from the daily news on the TV screen, it still manages to find me. Our economy is in a strain. Jobs are scarce. Health care as we know it is in jeopardy. The age of the department store, the CD, the DVD, and the personal conversation, is dying. Now enters iTunes and iPods, internet shopping, text messaging, and BluRay. I even read an article last week in which the author praised the craze of text messaging, stating that it's forcing people to write more often. The weather is becoming increasingly more unpredictable - Texans are more familiar with a 75-degree Christmas than they were 15 years ago. Dust storms and floods are occupying a slew of newspaper headlines. The daily crimes are becoming more sinister, dastardly, and wicked. Disease and illness are rampant. Or, perhaps, things have been this chaotic for decades and the deeds of the dark are migrating to daylight while we simply have a better means by which to become aware of them. Either way, change is consistent.

It all stirs up a sense of urgency in me that the enemy would love to convert to lethargy and panicked paranoia. I feel as though my home, located in the safest neighborhood, is being invaded and robbed little by little, in broad daylight, with me in it, wide awake and watching. How do we live as responsible adults, retaining a spark of spontaneity, while seizing moments like we won't get anymore, carrying out a radical existence in Christ, and abiding by His principles, in these schedules, these days, these jobs, these relationships, these families, this year, and this age? How do we go about overcoming our own sinful nature and mustering up the will to rail against the pitfalls of the enemy so that when we answer that question, we are without inhibition and hinderance in living it out? It would be simple to recall the countless lessons from Sunday School and cut and paste them to create a coverall answer. However, the reality of it feels so much more complicated, so much more difficult to execute, and I find myself taken aback and angered that the day-to-day monotany of my life is the stage for my most current, most frustrating spiritual battle.

All of which may be a bit too deep or heavy-handed for a Wednesday afternoon, but nevertheless, there it is. It's a venting day - for the short version, we are thankfully & prayerfully treading water. Thanks for reading & praying - we love you very much.

Lots of Love -
Poors

A Poor Photo Shoot

2009-08-15T12:03:00.006-05:00

I wanted to post these as soon as possible for several reasons: (1) we've been so excited about them since we took them; (2) this our first photo shoot we've done as a family; (3) to show off Rylie and how big she's getting; and (4) to brag enormously on our photographers, Leslie & Brian Lane! The Poors may be the subject, but the images are anything but poor!! These are a few of our favorites!

We met Brian & Leslie a little over a year ago and we've gotten to know them and grow with them in Christ, and they are a wonderful couple - a trait that bleeds over into their work shooting professional photos. Not only are they both blessed with God-given talent, they are a joy to work with! A sound knowledge of lightning, digital photography, journalistic style, and familiarity with a variety of fantastic locations are just a few cards they bring to the table. If you're looking for a great set of professionals to step up to the plate and deliver an astounding product (be it for a wedding, a family, a baby, or just for fun), the Lanes swing a heavy bat. To see more of their work, look them up at http://www.laneportraits.com/. Thank you, Brian & Leslie!!!

Moses Moments

2009-08-09T12:41:00.004-05:00

In my life, God has revealed the nature of His character - His mercy, His grace, His might - in layers as I grow older, and more often than not, by way of the smallest means, and sometimes, after the longest of journeys. The effects of these "revelations" have been enormous. Imagine receiving a postcard of the Grand Canyon every night of your life before you go to sleep. You know in your heart the vastness of it, the majesty, but the process of filing through an array of reproduced photographs every night begins to become monotonous and leaves your senses a little immune and numb to the glory of the thing. Then one morning, you wake up. You're not in your bed. You're not even laying down. Instead, you're standing at the very edge of this hole in the earth, nearly a mile between the gritty surface under your feet and the one at the bottom of the canyon. The colors are brilliant. The air is crisp. And you swear you could hear your own breath echo from the bottom - that is, if you have any breath left in you. And that's only mentioning what your senses are able to traffic - your mind, meanwhile, is reeling with emotions: exhilarated, inspired, awe-struck, dumb-struck, humbled, and utterly terrified (just to name a few). I experienced that level of sensation the day I first committed myself to the fact that "I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior" (my favorite line from one of my favorite movies, Amazing Grace). I was so overwhelmed by the - palpable - presence of Christ that day, that I think I wept off and on for a week. I've started refering to these moments in my life as my "Moses Moments". (Take a look at Exodus 3:1-5 and Exodus 4:10-11 to see what I mean.) This week was one big Moses Moment.

I don't know why I consistently choose to wander in dry land to discover a source of water. Looking in the rearview, there were much easier ways to get to the point I'm in now. Hindsight is 20/20. I am a selfish individual. Completely revolutionary, right? I was given the drive to sing in high school. The passion for it ignited a fire in me that to this day I cannot communicate by the written word or word of mouth. The fire came from a force that would move through me every time I opened my mouth. Then, following in the footsteps of Samson, I started thinking it was something that was of me. My gift. Not hard to imagine, things of my own creation fall short of the goal I have in my mind, and seeing my ability as flawed and tainted, I abandoned it and wrote it off as "God changing my heart". I turned to my second love in college: writing. I pursued a degree in English with the dream that I would graduate and become a writer. But graduation day came and went, and once again I undercut the ability of my God and seated another dream on the shelf, hoping to find another definition of purpose and something else to fill it.

The weight of all this came to a head this week after watching God move so dramatically in the lives of those around me, and when they could not contain the glory of His work, He mercifully permitted it to fall on me and shake me out of a stupor. I am bearing witness to 4 younger siblings transforming from boys and girls to amazing men and women who aren't just growing in Christ, but surpassing me in their faith. One of my brothers just came back from a mission trip, inspired, ignited, and ready to step out as a leader among his generation. My other brother is laying out a plan for his life, that included giving up a popularity contest among the athletes at his school in pursuit of establishing more meaningful relationships somewhere else. One of my younger sisters thoughtfully gave up a Saturday to watch my daughter, her niece - one of many, many thoughtful things she's done without asking since she was roughly 5 years old. My other sister has spent the last couple of days attending to her mom who is recovering from surgery. When her mom begins chemo, she's offered to decorate masks for her and wear wigs, too. On Saturday, my family and I were honored to be a part of a funeral that was packed out in memory of my mom's cousin. It's amazing to see the difference in mourning that comes from those with hope versus those who are without. Some of our closest friends are watching God unfold the most incredible plans for their family and their lives - we've been honored to be a part of the praying process.

God's glory in the lives of these has revealed my own to be comfortable - comfortable and stagnate. I have carried on a postcard relationship with Christ, opting for safety and idleness, rather than faith in the midst of uncertainty and really, truly living. I have been humbled this week, shamed, inspired, and woken up.

God, forgive me for my unrighteous sense of contentment. Take this sudden awareness of my mouthful of sand and convert it into a drive for a substance that quenches all thirst. Take my poor trophies of what I would have done with my life and replace them with what you will do - shoes that only You can fill. I praise You for these people you have positioned around me, for Your incredibly perfect wisdom and timing in their lives that is spilling over into mine. I pray for your holiness to fall on me and give me the willingness to be available; to be the vessel You move through; a godly support for my husband; and a godly example for our children. Thank you for not abandoning me, even though I have abandoned You; for faithfully continuing Your work in me; and for Your unfailing love throughout this precious life You've allowed me to live. I love You.

A Little Less Positive

2009-08-02T23:25:00.004-05:00

I think we may be in for a long night. I mentioned in my last post a few of the things going with us at the moment: we have a family member in the hospital in very serious condition that has us playing things day-by-day; we have another family member anticipating a major surgery this week; one of us is making a shift transition this week; the other is getting ready to go back to work; and the littlest member of our family is undergoing her toughest life lesson to date. We're a little frayed around the edges in the Poor house. We know that God is working these things out for our good and we're seeing the fruits of that promise as we speak, which is a big blessing and does lessen the "laboriousness" of the process. However, it's still a process, and we're at the point where we've started to trudge instead of march.

It's rounding the corner to midnight and Rylie is screaming. We tried a week or two ago to go ahead with getting her adjusted to her room and her crib. We backtracked a bit and let her continue to sleep in her swing or pack'n'play for a little longer since Brandon was still on night shift (just incase something were to happen, I wanted to have Rylie some place where I could get to her quickly being on my own). She went through this phase of fussing where she'd sleep for 20-40 minutes and wake up, happy at first then fussy again. We've come to the conclusion that she hasn't been getting enough to eat - a horrible and guilt-ridden realization for us as parents. She's not starving, but she is still hungry. Sooo... we've been supplementing with bottles and as a result, we're finding it harder and harder to continue nursing. I don't know why, but this just eats at me, and truth be told, leaves me a little bit... well, heart-broken. I don't know if it's one more mile-marker we're passing that reminds me of how fast she's growing, or if it's feeling like I'm not living up to the standards I've set for myself that outline what it is to be a "good mom", but bottom line, it's beginning to keep me up at night, too. All I've heard since the first day I knew I was pregnant was how healthy it is for a baby to breastfeed. On top of that, how important it is to feed them that way for as close to year as possible. How do working mom's do it? In the fall I'll be gone from Rylie a total of nearly 8-10 hours a day, not counting the hours I spend not feeding her at night because we're asleep. How do I keep going? I am really excited about my job - I think it's going to be a great year. But I come close to losing it sometimes thinking about being apart from her for that long. When I went back to work in the spring, when Rylie was 6 weeks old, it was easy to do because I knew I'd be back home with her within a matter of 15 days. This time around, I won't be home with her for a significant length of time until Christmas. Ugh! It makes me ache. I think about her sitting up without help, teething, learning new sounds, and a million other tiny things that she'll do for the first time and I won't be there to see it. There are moments where I want to sell my house, get rid of some of our utilities and go back to apartment living for the opportunity to stay home with her until she can start school herself. I miss her just thinking about it. Like I said, we're trudging.

Anyway. My precious baby has finally gone to sleep, so I guess I can now, too. I've been sitting at the computer for the last little while listening to her cry. The computer at least gives me something to do to take my focus off it and still lets me be close to her. Please pray for the transitions we're facing - we love you.

-Stephie P.

P.S. A HUGE thank you to my sweet hubby who threw me a surprise party on Saturday. You are so thoughtful and for that and so many reasons more, I adore you! Thanks also to all of our friends and family who made it to celebrate with us - we are so blessed to have you - you make so many things in our lives so special!

Pouring Rain

2009-07-30T20:05:00.004-05:00

It has rained nearly all week and I, for one, LOVE it. For the literature buffs, rain is typically inserted into a story to create a mood - usually one of gloom, heaviness, even mourning. When a beloved character dies, a funeral is usually carried out in the midst of a downpour. But in life, funerals also happen on sunny days, and rain can roar against the window of a hospital delivery room during the birth of a most precous child.

We have been refreshed this week - not just by the physical presence of some magnificent thunderstorms, but also through the presence of Christ in some trying ordeals. My stepmom was diagnosed with breast cancer nearly 2 weeks ago. The detection of a lump prompted a mammogram which in turn prompted a biopsy that returned positive results. Long story short, she'll have a surgery, followed by chemo, and the chances of "curing" her type of cancer is 95%. You can't imagine the relief my family and I have felt to see God turn shock and fear into hope and peace. Then, on Wednesday, my mom's cousin was riding in the passenger seat of a vehicle that was suddenly struck by a drunk driver. He was ejected through the windshield because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He's currently in critical condition on life support. The blessing here has been the coming together of our family. It's an amazing sight to watch cousins, second cousins, aunts, uncles, the most distant relatives, put the current events of their own lives on hold and reach out to meet a need - even if all they can do is remain committed in prayer. What wonders God fashions through the hands and feet of His people. Lastly, what has been the most amazing thing to witness, is you. Brandon and I have lived in this community of people - our friends and our family - for so long. Some of you have know us since birth, others for only a few months. But you have taken us in - into your homes, your lives, your prayers, and for that we have been truly blessed!!

In the midst of the weight of the last couple of weeks, we have also found revival in our daughter. We're still working on posting some pictures we've taken of her over the last month, but for those of you who haven't seen her in a while, be warned: it's as though she's a completely different baby from when she was born. And truthfully, she is. Rylie had her 4-month birthday this week, preceeded by her 4-month doctor appointment. I don't know that I've ever been so proud of her. She cooed and wiggled right up until the first in a series of 4 (yes, FOUR) shots last week. The nurse on the delivery end of the needle was Wonder Woman in scrubs - I think Rylie had gotten all 4 within 30 seconds. And she took them like a pro. She screamed in the process, alligator tears and all, but in just as little time as the shots took, the screaming stopped, and Rylie was on to more important things (like eating for example - yes, she is truly my child). She is up to so much these days - she's working on rolling over from back to tummy (she has tummy to back down already); she's "talking" non-stop; she can sit and stand easily while supported; she's begun eating rice cereal; blowing raspberries has become her favorite passtime; she's beginning to notice and enjoy toys (including the rubber duck in the bathtub); she's outgrowing clothes left and right; she's fake coughing all over the place and finds it extremely amusing; she's starting to sleep all night; AND she's nearly 15 pounds, and over 2 feet long. She is just so incredibly precious and we can't believe that we get to be her parents.

So. That's what's happening around our neck of the woods lately. Brandon and I are getting ready for a new routine in the next couple of weeks as I head back to work and Brandon finally gets to work normal-people hours, and in prepping for the routine, I'm trying to head to bed earlier - which means, time to say goodnight. We love you all very much and hope you're doing well!!

Lots and Lots of Love -
Steph P.

Milestones

2009-07-19T00:47:00.003-05:00

It's nearly 1 a.m. on Sunday and here I sit, baby monitor in front of me, listening to my baby daughter fight it out with sleep. She's getting close to the 4-month mark, and we made our first spur-of-the-moment doctor visit this week. Rylie has been going through this phase where she's constantly fussy. She sleeps for roughly 10-20 minutes during the day and wakes up playful for about as long before turning cranky and, inevitably, tired. It didn't matter what we tried - picking her up, pacing the house, rocking in the swing, rocking in the chair - nothing would console her and she refused to fall asleep. Worrying that it could be anything from not enough to eat to teething to tummy problems, we broke down after a week-long battle and decided to seek our pediatricians opinion. The resulting diagnosis: "fussy infant". To be more specific, our truly brilliant daughter somehow hasn't learned how to fall asleep on her own. Instead, she's taken to falling asleep only when fed, whether she's hungry or not; to Rylie, there is no other neans to get to sleep. So, when she starts to get that all-too-familiar tired look, we're laying her down and letting her "fuss (or sometimes scream) it out", which is why at 1 o'clock in the morning I'm sitting at my computer, fighting sleep myself. I would have thought that 4 months is a little young to be crying yourself to sleep, but I suppose she's got to learn sometime and better now than when we've really set in a bad habit two months from now, right? At least, that's what I keep telling myself to keep from picking her up and feeding her to get her to go to sleep. I can say this for my daughter: she's a fighter. I don't think I've ever seen a person - child or adult - fight sleep so hard for so long. I'm praying that the battle only lasts a few nights and maybe we'll fall into a routine. That's what the doctor suggested: "Work on establishing bed time." We were successful at first tonight; she ate around 9:40 and went to sleep, I put her in her bed and she was down... until about an hour later. She's been duking it out periodically ever since. She'll cry for a while and I'll go in and rub her tummy or sing to her to get her give it up, then leave for a while, then come back. It's amazing how fast your resolve can be whittled down to next-to-nothing when sleep is at stake. If only Rylie could sympathize.

In other news, we hit another mile-marker yesterday: we cleaned out Rylie's drawers and closet for the first time, in an effort to box up clothes she can no longer wear. I have to say some small part of me cried. I'm ready for consistent laughter, sitting up unsupported, and most certainly for better sleeping habits, but filing through onsies labeled "Newborn" and "0-3 Months" was bittersweet. I don't know why it's so hard to satisfactorily soak up these moments that are so fleeting. I know that sounds like a cheap Hallmark card, but it's totally true - you can especially relate if you're a parent. I feel like she should still be 4 weeks old, able to fit in her bassinet, and able to wear everything in her infant-sized wardrobe - or at least, will be able to wear it. For the first time I can fully say she's outgrown something. It turns my stomach a little to think that that will become a constant variable in our vocabulary from here on out. Yesterday I learned I will become a parent, and tomorrow, my child will be a year old - that's sort of what it feels like. Don't get me wrong, bittersweet is the best word for it. There is nothing more precious than for us to watch our daughter grow, but we're learning that some moments are harder to let pass than others.

Well, my eyes are getting heavy and apparently, so have Rylie's because the crying has stopped and my little one is finally... asleep. Praise Jesus! Hopefully we'll make it through the week relatively unscathed and with a whole new way to be a lot better rested. Lots of love to you all!

Good night,
Steph

Rylie's First Movie

2009-07-15T10:15:00.003-05:00

That is, movie in the theater. Two words: big mistake. Although I say it lovingly, the decision to take her was not, by a long shot, our smartest ever. Here's what happened:

I'm a bit of a Harry Potter fan. When the novels first came out, I didn't take much interest in them until just about everyone I knew had started reading them - including my younger brother Jordan. So I decided, at long last, to pick them up just after the fourth installment was released (and so was the first film). The series was riddled with great relationships, exciting adventure, and the most loveable (and hateable) characters I'd ever gotten to know. As a side note, yes, it involves magic or sorcery, but it would take something entirely darker and more sinister to sway a Believer grounded in Christ. It is completely fictional, the most believable or realistic element about the novels being the nature of the characters. If a parent were to ask me whether or not to permit their child to read the books, my answer would be yes, but educate them first in the knowledge of Christ, and then educate them on the nature of fiction and use the moral elements from the series (like the fact that Harry Potter's mother gives up her life to save her son) in a positive manner. Also, when you read the series, I think you'll find that the darkest villain is based very realistically on one of the darkest figures in World History - Adolf Hitler. In fact, you might even say that the entire story could be loosely based on the events of World War II. Alright, there's my two cents, now back to MY story.

So, as you can guess, the first movie we took Rylie to was the newest Harry Potter film. Of course we didn't take her to let her watch it. In fact, the plan was to kill two birds with one stone: first, we would go to a midnight showing to be among the first to see the film, and second, we would go late enough that it would fall during Roo's bedtime and we would be able to enjoy it without needing the assistance of a babysitter (the movie wouldn't be done until roughly 2:30). We bought our tickets about a week ago and debated back and forth about the expected volume of the movie. I even bought a pair of "ear muffs" for Rylie in the hope that it might muffle the noise and help her sleep better. We left from my mom's house (my younger sister and her friend came with us) at about 10:40 and got to the theater just shy of 11. I wish I had pictures of the parking lot. It looked like an entire section of the mall was open late. People of all ages - and all attire - were pouring into the lobby of the theater, the majority of them with tickets in-hand, and a few minutes later, the doors were open and people spilled into the theaters. Oh, by-the-way, we saw the film at Rave Motion Pictures. If you can find one of these near you, see every major movie you can there - the experience is amazing. Our theater has over 13 screens and every single one of them was playing Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince starting between 11:59 and 12:10. And the turn-out wasn't disappointing in the least.

Brandon went to get us seats in our theater while I picked up a snack or two for us and the girls. I walked the girls to their theater (they had to get tickets at a different showtime than us because tickets sold out too fast - I think they liked being on their own, too) and then went to find Brandon. A wonderfully nice pair of girls gave up their seats in the "handicap" section for Brandon and I. We thought we'd put Rylie in her stroller and wheel it in next to our seats. All was well... at first. Then, the fussing commenced. The pre-movie noise from the patrons in the theater was extreme which woke Rylie up after about 5 minutes in the theater - bad omen. On top of everything else, she's been going through a fussy stage the last couple of days and last night, she decided, wasn't going to be an exception, movie or no movie. We tried the pacifier, we tried feeding her, and finally Brandon got up and started to walk around with her to get her back to sleep. We ran into a good friend (Miss Katie Gaston) there who sweetly decided to kill time and walk with him while I staked our seats. He came back just a few minutes before the movie started and Rylie, poor baby, lost it. The noise was WAY too loud for her. And then, my husband, being the hero that he is, took Rylie into the lobby and proceeded to walk her around, the ENTIRE time. I spent the first 30 minutes of the film texting him asking if he needed me, should we leave, and he simply said that he would take care of her and I was to enjoy to the movie. THE BEST dad and husband!!! I had been in desperate need of a break and two hours at the theater enjoying a movie was heavenly. The film ended just before 2:30 and I went out into the hall to find my sweet husband looking at a film poster with our daughter in her stroller, sound asleep. He then proceeded to show me the two movie passes the manager gave him for us to come back and see the movie again without baby. Not for the fact that I got to see Harry Potter, but for the level of consideration and love that's demonstrated daily around our house, my husband is so very, very much my hero!!!

About the movie: If you're a fan of the books, it's a coin-toss whether or not you'll like it. If you've read any of the novels past "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (the fourth installment), you'll know that converting one of these novels into a single, 2-3 hour movie is an incredible challenge and something is bound to get left on the cutting room floor. Such was the case for Half-Blood Prince. A great deal was cut out from the book in the process of making the movie. However, some would argue that the small side plots could be edited out so long as the major events in the story were left intact and the film would still do the book justice. On the other hand, many would argue that it's the subplots that make Harry Potter what it is. Regardless, the movie is, without a doubt, well-made, at least from a technical stand point; the visual effects were amazing! My personal opinion, without giving anything away, the filmmakers did an outstanding job trying to condense material that even Rowling herself says was among the very least edited. In short, it was well-worth seeing. I do think that it should have been rated PG-13. There was a lot of puppy-love stuff, kissing and that sort of thing which wasn't a big deal, but probably not the most suitable for children say, 9 and 10 years old. More importantly, the action sequences were very intense and again, and definitely could be a bit much for smaller children. I enjoyed it though, and I'm excited to see what they do with the final two films that cover the final book! I'm even more excited to see the film a second time with the pleasure of my hubby's company!!! Bran, you're amazing!!!

So Much To Say, So Much To Say

2009-07-10T19:05:00.003-05:00

Hi all!! Well, my honey beat me to the punch with his latest post, but I figured since I have the time and my little one is asleep early for once (and all God's people said, "Amen!") I thought I would put in my own 2 cents. As Brandon said already, the Poor House is hoppin'! We just got back from our summer vacation that, on paper, looks like a quick trip, but when you tally up the details - like one infant, two sleep-deprived adults, one time change, five pieces of luggage (not including the stroller, car seat, and car seat base), one week of wedding activities, and two tedious plane trips - by the time we got back home, it felt like we'd been gone a month. However, in spite of all the preparations and the initial journey, the trip was well worth it to be able to catch up with friends and family, some of whom had never even met Rylie.

When we returned home we were thrown back into 100+ degree weather and a whole lot of activity that has kept us on our toes. Brandon's been working, working - both at his day job and at home (he has become the king of the lawn). I think Brandon mentioned that I have a job (WHOO HOO!) at a local school district this year teaching 7th grade ELA! I had the opportunity to attend a literacy workshop for three days this week with several of my department-colleagues, and I have to say I am so excited to be working with such a wonderful group of people!!! These gals are so on-the-ball and are so serious about their students yet, they do it all with the most mellow, pressure-free attitude that has me looking forward to the start of school!

When we're not investing our time into work-related things or things around the house, we've been blissfully busy spending time with friends and family and soaking up every ounce of free time we get this summer - especially with Rylie! I feel like some part of me has been dreaming these last 3 (almost 4) months because suddenly, I look at her and she's this completely different person from the one we brought home from the hospital. She has changed and grown SO much! We were worried for a while that we weren't doing "tummy time" enough and then I put her on her tummy this evening and she popped right up all the way to her waist and looked at me like, "Mom, one of these days I'm going to pick up and move!" Then, she rolled over! AHHH!!! Not from back to tummy, but from tummy to back! I couldn't believe it. I wanted to cry from joy and disbelief that my child is already hitting these milestones, and passing them by quicker than she approaches them. As a result, we're now keeping our camera and video camera on hand at all times. She'll be 4 months old at the end of the month! Where has it all gone??

Well, I think that's about it. And as I'm typing, Rylie is letting me know that she wasn't really sleeping, just resting her eyes :) Lots of love everyone!!!

-Stephanie

Midnight Madness

2009-07-09T04:53:00.004-05:00

Well, it's 4:53 in the morning, and after several weeks of looking at the same post on our blog, I've decided to write a new one. This is it! No it's not the michael jackson tour, it's the early morning musings of a tired cop. Here's a brief rundown of the last few weeks.

A hurried trip to NM found us flying with Roo for the first time. With much anxiety surround the thought of flying with a 3mo old, it was surprisingly easy. Stef fed her on the way up and the way down. That left the in between with a happy baby that smiled and laughed and played for the entire flight. The flight attendent on the first flight was so impressed by her, she gave Roo a pair of wings from the airline.

The trip was supposed to be a vacation, but with all of the goings ons around the wedding weekend (my cousin got married), it was not as relaxing as anticipated. Stef was a gem though, as she took care of Rylie so I could hang out with family, and go to wedding events. We (the boys) went golfing on Tuesday, then to the lake on Wed. The lake was also supposed to be a Thurs trip, but I was so sunburnt (after not going to the lake in 7 years I looked like a ghost), that I could barely move...so that meant no lake trip on Thurs. I actually found muscles that I didn't remember I had due to that skiing trip. The wakeboard can point out exactly what parts you need to work on. (and in my case, it included my body).

So after a day of rest on Thursday, I went golfing again on Friday, and then up to the rehearsal Friday night. The wedding was in Durango, which just meant a trip to a beautiful location for the weekend. The rehearsal dinner was at steamworks, where we got to see my cousin sing karaoke. (which just means that they're ice skating in hell apparently).

The wedding was beautiful, and the reception was a lot of fun. Stef and I walked around Durango on Sunday, which was a great time spent with just us and roo.

We came back on Tuesday, and Stef gave me a wonderful surprise belated B-Day party with our close friends. It was a lot of fun spent with great people...and Stef amazes me with how truly thoughtful she is!

Stef has been at in-service for her new job with Burleson this week, and from all accounts, it looks to be a promising year. On the baby front, Roo has begun to really talk, although I will have to post a video of her talking. (it's hilariously cute). She purses her lips and says mmmmmmmmm in a very serious tone and look. I guess she thinks she's really conducting a meaningfull conversation, and I love it...so it works. She's also started pulling up to a standing position, and took a pacifier for the first time since she was born.

All in all, it's been an extremely busy few weeks, but lots of new exciting things make it seem like it's flown by. Anyway, I guess blogging won't be considered working, so I'll wrap it up for now. If this has been rambling, it's now 5:22.....that's my story.

Night all

Musings from Bible Study: Fighting the Blueprint

2009-06-14T09:36:00.001-05:00

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:22-33

In my personal opinion, these verses could arguably be some of the most controversial in the Bible - among women, that is. I believe the devil would have every feminist non-Believer on the planet look at these words and birth bitterness in their hearts toward the Gospel, saying that Bible is dated, backward, maybe even chauvinistic. In fact, I've even heard a more mild form of the argument from the mouths of women who ARE Believers. For some reason, the female sex - myself included on occasion - has trouble with the term 'submission'. Perhaps it's because many of us simply don't understand it.

Dictionary.com defines the term 'submit' as follows: "To yield onesself to the power or authority of another; to differ to another's judgement, opinion, or decision." To get a firmer grip on the biblical ideal behind submission, hang a left in your Bible from Ephesians and keep going until you reach Genesis.

Genesis 1:27 & 28 says, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'" Notice that God has designated them both to rule over the creatures of the earth, not Adam alone. Notice also that God has not bestowed authority on Adam over his wife, Eve. Instead, we see the birth of a covenant relationship between man and woman that is sinless and good, and by all textual evidence, a partnership that is equal. Then, enter the serpent who seeks to cloud the judgment of God's most precious creation by, ironically, distorting the instructions God had given them. The result is a followed-through temptation that delivers sin into the lives of humankind and ushers in some of the reprocutions we still live with today: "To the woman He said, 'I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.'" (Genesis 3:16) I find it interesting that God repeats Himself in the verse regarding childbirth - almost like when you've made a poor decision as a child and your dad repeats himself in an effort to make sure you understand the severity of the consequences that are following your actions. And, Lord have mercy, I believe I "thanked" Eve by name when the contractions kicked it in high gear the day my daughter was born! Childbirth "ain't no joke".

After the Fall, the partnership between a man and woman is no longer on equal footing - we now each have a designated spot in our marriages and one is over the other. However, take a look at Psalm 25:6&7: "Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love, remember me, for you are good, O Lord." So often we mistake God for a God of punishment instead of a God of consequence. What's the difference? Our reliable Dictionary.com defines the term 'punish' as "to subject to pain, loss, confinement, and death". "Consequence", on the other hand, is not inflicted, but occurs as the result to a prior action. The Fall takes place in Genesis 3, and all 3 parties involved recieve consequences: woman will be beneath her husband; man will wrestle with the earth in order to find physical sustainance; and the serpent will be made to crawl on his belly and God will put "enmity" between the seed of the serpent and the woman's offspring. Hover over that verse for a minute (Genesis 3:15) just incase you may have missed something very familiar: "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head and you will strike his heel." This is the first allusion in the Bible to Christ. Notice the drastic difference in wording: striking one's heel versus crushing one's head - it's like comparing a pin-prick to a rendezvous with a guillotine. The Fall of Man happens in verse 6 of Genesis 3 and 9 verses later, we are told that God has a plan - not just for the serpent but for the redemption of His people. You may be asking at this point, "What's this got to do with sumbitting to my husband?" Well, let me ask you this: how many times have you conceded to plans of your own only to end up somewhere you really don't want to be? We have put a negative connotation on Genesis 3:16, viewing it as a punishment and not a consequence, and therefore, we assume that man's rule over woman is a bad thing. To add insult to injury, we forget that God is Author of all, and if it's a plan He's put place, how ludicrous is it to assume that it is flawed? Just as it was in the beginning of time, so is it now with these verses in Ephesians: what was broken, God has found a way to mend; born of a consequence or not.

As a result of the Fall, a need was born in women to be cherished and desired by men. Were it not for that, the entire cosmetics industry would cease to exist (the same could be said for the Hollywood romance, too). God does not instill or allow for a need that cannot be met by Him, which is precisely the void that's filled by the system he encourages his people to practice in Ephesians. And, women, in allowing ourselves to be the vessels through which God moves, we are able to fill a need in our spouses to be esteemed, honored and respected - a need best met through submission. Most beautifully of all (and perhaps the greatest testimony to the flawlessness of God's plan), it's modeled after the relationship Christ holds with his Beloved; the Body, the Church (profound indeed!). When God is the Architect of life and our redemption, where's the sense in fighting the blueprint?

Discoveries 2

2009-06-08T23:09:00.005-05:00

Ok, we've been trying to put a few new videos on here for 3 weeks, but they won't upload. So after talking to wise Mr. Simpson, I have uploaded to 'youtube' and then transferred them to here. So I hope the videos play on all computers, it's running a little slow and choppy on ours, but I don't know if it's just our computer. Anyways, Rylie has been doing some fun new things as of late. One of them we got on video is her new scream. It's sort of a fake cry that turns into a yell, then she looks around to see if it got her anywhere. I'll try to post that video on here later.

The video that I posted today is of her newest and best addition. She's started the new trend of getting a huge smile on her face when we talk to her. It really melts your heart, especially when it's a great big smile, and she kinda laughs with it. It's my worst fear really, being wrapped around her finger so early on!

Anyway, Stef is out of school finally, so my days of playing mom are nearing an end, and I am back to work this week. I have certainly come to realize that God didn't design men for that job, and women are much stronger than us!!!! I've also discovered a few new things in my time as Mr Mom:

1. We can get up 3,4, 5 or even 6 hours early when we have somewhere to be (i.e. church), and we'll still end up being 20 minutes late.

2. 5 minutes before leaving the house, especially when we have nice new clothes on, Rylie decides that it's time to spit up all over the place. That leads to the conclusion in #1.

3. We now have to pack every piece of baby clothing, equipment, toys, and everything else in the house to go anywhere. It takes 45 minutes of preparation to go on a 30 minute walk around the neighborhood.

Parenthood...ain't it grand!

-B-

Growing, Growing, Growing

2009-05-23T19:43:00.005-05:00

Hi everyone! I think it's been a while since I've sat down to post so I thought I would take this one since Brandon's been so good about taking care of all the others. The other day my mom so kindly offered to watch our little doll while daddy took a class and mommy had some mommy time doing what mommy does best (or worst) - shop! Usually when I shop, it's generally for me unless I'm shopping for a birthday or some special event or holiday (I would love to say I shop for Brandon, but I'm notorious about getting the wrong size or something he just flat out doesn't like). To my everlasting joy, I was finally able to walk over from the women's section of Old Navy to the baby section and do some first-time serious shopping for Rylie. Oh my word, we've stumbled across something even more potentially adicting than shopping for mommy - especially when we got mommy's purchases on little Roo! I know I'm a biased parent, but honestly that kid could make a burlap bag look darling. To prove it, we had to a few pictures of her latest trend (by-the-way, Old Navy rocks my socks - the clearance rack housed the majority of my finds which were all under $4).

In other news, summer is rapidly approaching - the temperatures are climbing and so are the gas prices and (unfortunately) the allergens. There's nothing like trying to soldier through a classroom lesson between a gazillion sneezes! Which reminds me, since my last post, I have returned to work for the remaining weeks of school. We're still uncertain about what next year will hold for me occupationally speaking (prayers please!) but we're trying to stay positive and go with whatever flow God gives us. As for the remainder of this year, returning to work has been really difficult and causes me to long for some other alternative for next year so that I don't have to leave Rylie. Nearly everything took a hit: breastfeeding, energy levels, spare time, you name it. I will say though, I did miss my kiddos in class and it was good to be a part of their lives again (although summer-fever is in full swing and attention spans are running on empty). We wrapped up our last FULL week yesterday - we have 4 days this coming week and then 3 1/2 the following week (I technically have 5 days that week, but the kids only have to show up for 3 1/2).

On the family front, we took our first post-baby road trip to Oklahoma for my cousin Tiffany's wedding. What an experience! It was so wonderful to get to see my sweet cousin in her wedding dress marry her sweetheart, and it was equally as wonderful to get the chance to see my immediate family whom we hadn't seen since Rylie's birth. However, it's amazing how much things change when you throw a baby in the mix. We packed nearly everything but the kitchen sink... just for HER. Pack'n'Play, diapers, clothes, bows, wipes, Mylicon, pacifiers, bottles, burp rags, blankets, sleepers, and the list goes on and on and on. It added an entire hour onto our pack and load time. Then, our typically 2-3 hour trip turned into a 3-4 hour trip when we got to experience previously unnecessary pit stops (to feed and change Rylie of course). We're taking another trip in another month or so to New Mexico (12-13 hours, one-way by car) and we are rethinking driving. All-in-all though, Rylie did well.

So that's about it! We're plugging along, adjusting more and more as the days fly by and wanting more and more to press the pause button as Rylie makes huge strides daily in her growth. I think that's had the biggest impact on my desire to stay with her next year - she changes SO quickly, it's barely believable. We hope everyone is doing well and if we haven't been able to introduce you to little Roo in person yet, we hope to soon! All biases aside, she is truly a gorgeous, wonderful baby, and a blessing we can't imagine being without!!!

Lots of Love to All,
Stephanie (& Brandon)

P.S. Brandon shot these last two pictures today and captured an amazing moment!

Dooms Day

2009-05-22T15:23:00.007-05:00

(Oh and don't mind about the tactless comment made during the second video, sometimes I try to amuse myself, and forgot that I can't edit:) hahaha)

Here is the dooms day series. Rylie had her first set of shots today. Needless to say, it did not go well. Now I know that every parent goes through this, but I am sure that each feels that their experience was especially bad. I was glad that the appt was scheduled while Stef was at work, as I knew I could handle it better than she would. The 'PKU' follow up test was , truthfully, the only time I've ever seen Stefy look as though she was going to punch someone. I had to tell her to step back towards the door, as she inched closer to the nurse. She was quite content beforehand, even falling asleep in between the doctor and nurses visits. She was quite happy to lay on the table and kick and move around, but little did she know, it would all soon go terribly wrong.

The nurse came in with the dreaded instruments of pain (aka 5 syringes). The first of the vaccinations was given orally. Rylie had no idea what was up next, so she put up with the annoyance of the nurse squirting the sticky gel into her mouth. The time came. The nurse told me to hold on to her upper half, and she pulled out the first syringe. Now I've done the paramedic thing, even practicing IV's on myself, so needles are no big deal. However, these were huge. These were like 1/2 inch crochet hooks, or at least sewing needles. I didn't know if she was going to give a shot or make me a pot holder?

The first one went into Roo's right thigh. She looked up at me, and in a crushing moment, gave me a look as if to say " I can't believe you let this happen to me!" Miss Rylie then proceeded to let out the most agonizing scream I've ever heard. I can honestly say, this was a scream and cry that I haven't heard from her or any other human before. It was horrible, but now was the time to step up as dad and be the strong one. After all of the shots, and Rylie screaming so loud that the waiting room must have thought we were killing cats, I picked her up and tried to calm her down. I also informed the nurse that the reason Stef didn't come was for her (the nurses) protection. Now that we were done, I knew that Stef would have been led out in handcuffs after pummeling that nurse! I love the ferocity of a mother (lion) protecting her young;) hahah

Well as all babies are, Rylie was ok after a little time, and some Tylenol. I had to keep reminding myself that I went through this as well, and I don't remember a thing. (although look how I turned out, ah well). Rylie and I also got to take lunch to mommy at school, so it all ended on an up note. All in all, I've learned that sometimes it has to hurt for our benefit (that and leave my gun at home! ha).

Mommy Day

2009-05-12T08:49:00.004-05:00

Here is another new photo. This was taken at church on Stefs first mothers day. Happy mothers day to the best mommy in the world;) Love you Stefy!

-B-

Talk Time 2

2009-05-11T20:46:00.012-05:00

ok so here is some more of Rylie talking. I used to think that I'd never be the guy who'd post long videos of their child just cooing and babbling...but I was soooooo wrong;) haha I am totally that guy, and not ashamed of it, I must say. I no longer make fun of my grandpa for showing pictures of his grandchildren to anyone who'll stop and listen. This video is a little longer than the last one. Since this is the way that some people who don't get to see her often are keeping up with miss Rylie, then I suppose the long ones are welcome.

It's amazing how much she's changed in such a short time. She just passed 6 weeks last Saturday, and I'm already thinking about her walking, and talking, and driving, and leaving to college. Notice that dating was not included in that list...that's because any guy that's foolish enough to try to take her away from me, was probably already eaten by Maya on the way to the door:D hee hee

-B-

One Month and Counting: A Few Sweet Shots of Rylie Roo

2009-05-01T14:09:00.002-05:00

Growth Spurts

2009-04-28T16:45:00.002-05:00

It seems I've taken up a few old habits and have been neglecting The Poor House - it feels like ages since I've sat down to write! You know that saying, "Time flies when you're having fun"? We're learning in our household that it flies even faster when you're watching your child grow - and doing some growing of your own. Brandon and I were walking around Central Market on Sunday to pick up a couple of groceries; he was behind the stroller, I was behind the cart, and we were discussing our grocery list and when to mow the lawn. Such a simple act and yet, the reality of adulthood, parenthood, and the complex blessing that is age itself, hit me like a ton of bricks. Our daughter is already a month old - it has been over 4 weeks since we entered the hospital and became a family of 3. On plain paper, 4 weeks may seem comparable to most to the blink of an eye. However, as all Believers can relate, God delivers us through seasons of breaking and refining that can do nothing if not further attest to His glory, but may do some strange things to the "feeling" of time.

After Rylie was born, I spent the first couple of days doing what the majority (or so I'm told) of mothers do: cry profusely and mourn the death of sleep. I had been warned about the so-called "Baby Blues" but as my crying increased and my attitude darkened, I began to feel out of my depth and afraid that I was experiencing more than just "blues". I have never really been depressed in my life... well, except for that awkward middle school phase of self-centeredness where all life's little dramas feel like they might swallow one whole. (And just as an aside, God used that for His glory, too.) However, that experience fell very short of the hormonal imbalance that turned everything on its head and marked my entrance into motherhood after the birth of our daughter.

I was one of those naive women who never thought to associate "having a baby" with "motherhood" and furthermore, I neglected to discern the difference between the two. Having a baby encompasses the euphoric experience of bearing witness to a life growing within your own body, the miracle of movement and heartbeats, and all of the lovliest mom-to-be moments that build toward the grand finale of bringing a child into the world. Then it's done - baby's born, the "having" part is finished. Now comes the "mother" part. This part encompasses the 3 a.m. feedings, sleep deprivation, intimate knowledge of things like lanolin, favorite foods to forfeit in light of potential gas bubbles for baby, and contemplating illness based on the color of a baby's poop. There is no Hollywood glamour in motherhood, and looking at it through a veil of postpartum depression, motherhood can feel downright tainted. I would cry at the drop of a hat and suddenly feel distant from my daughter, as though my mind could not wrap itself around the notion that she was, in fact, that same creation who stretched out her limbs in my tummy just a few weeks ago - and that she was truly mine. I went through moments of dark images, and even feeling as though I had no feeling for my child and I could not care for her. Again, as all Believers can relate, the devil delights in the exposition of our greatest vulnerabilities and weaknesses, and after being lathered in shadows, I found myself being washed in shame and guilt to a degree that made it hard to live in a house with mirrors. I felt robbed of my own personality and more importantly, of my joy in the milestones that my daughter was quickly filing through. When one is caught in a tunnel and lost in the dark, it can feel like the light will never show up. Postpartum set in at its heaviest roughly 6 days after Rylie's birth and I was convinced the condition was permanent. The only way I could think of to cope was to cry to Jesus. I'm happy to report that the end of the tunnel became visible due to a glimmer of light and the light came from the Son.

I had always heard, "the devil loves a secret" and the phrase kept playing over and over in my mind. So, with a God-breathed determination that I would not be thwarted and a human desperation to get out of the dark, I went to Brandon in earnest to express my concerns and share my shadows with brutal honesty. From there, I went to the doctor, and then to our closest friends to ask for prayer. After two weeks of vigilance from family and friends, a rough patch with a stout medication, and clinging to the Word, I finally felt that this "thing" would not be permanent. Through the process Scripture was poured into places within me that had been in a drought longer than my pregnancy, a deeper love and appreciation for my husband was fostered, and, PRAISE THE LORD, I was finally able to recognize that there was absolutely zero Hollywood glamour in motherhood, but it was saturated with the glory of the Master and His master plan. While I'm not 100% out of the dark yet, I'm getting closer every day and I feel very blessed to say that after only 4 weeks. To me, they've felt like a string of months, but I've been told that an actual string of months (roughly 6) is the typical lifespan of postpartum depression. With that perspective, 4 weeks seems much more manageable.

I'm saying all this for a few reasons: first, the act of writing has been cathartic for me since I was a child, and I find that it still serves that same purpose today. Second, I wanted to share my realization that postpartum is real, it's uncontrollable, it's to be taken seriously, and it's totally treatable. And lastly, I wanted to share with any who would listen that the I AM is true to the Word; that He will see His work through to completion, even through the fires of refinement.

Before I wrap up, I wanted to apologize to those of you who have texted, called and/or emailed and we haven't responded. We've been knee-deep in growing, which has included finding a balance between reveling in the joys of parenthood and learning to adapt to its challenges (obviously). Rylie, as I said, is one month old today (YAY!!!), more beautiful than ever, and becoming the apple of our eyes more and more everyday. She is nearing the 10 pound mark and passed up 2 feet in length more than a week ago. She's learning to hold her head up and melts our hearts with her little bits of laughter, "baby speech", and smiles - even though the majority of these occurs when she's sleeping. I have also been able to use some of my maternity leave to work on my certification and I'm happy to report that my biggest test has been taken... and passed! Continued prayers for the right door to open concerning a job for the fall would be greatly appreciated! As always, we love you each so very much and if you haven't yet met our sweet baby, we can't wait to introduce you to her!!

"There were three before the king, there three who wouldn't bow to him. For when you heard the music play and you were standing you would burn. They looked at him and said, "Burn us up, burn us up, burn us up, oh king. Oh, won't you burn us in the furnace of your desire. We give up, we give up, we give up, oh king. Oh, won't you burn in the furnance of your desire - won't you throw us in the fire." The king enraged at what they said sent three away to find their death. The palace stopped in disbelief when the guilty raised their hands to sing. They looked to Him and said, "Burn us up, burn us up, burn us up, oh King. Oh, won't you burn us in the furnace of Your desire. We give up, we give up, we give up, oh King. Oh won't you burn us in the furnace of Your desire - won't You save us from the fire! You are able to deliver from the fire of affliction, it's the declarion of our Lord! You're not an image of gold, You're the God of Old! You have made us, come and save us - we are Yours! But even if You don't... we will burn! Burn us up, burn us up, burn us up, oh King! Oh won't you burn us in the furnace of Your desire! We give up, we give up, we give up, oh King! Oh won't you burn us in the furnace of Your desire! Won't you save us from the fire!"
-"Burn Us Up", Shane and Shane

Talk Time

2009-04-18T17:20:00.005-05:00

Well today is our 3 week birthday, and we decided it'd be a good time to start trying out the handy vocal cords (well, other than for crying of course). Whilst daddy was sleepin soundly before work, mommy and rylie were engaged in deep, meaningful conversation. Bear with the video, it's 35-45 seconds before rylie gets to the real meaning of life talk. What a wonderful adventure GOD has given parents huh.

1 Week

2009-04-04T15:28:00.004-05:00

Happy 1 week birthday Rylie. On the one hand, time is flying, it's already been a week, and it's flown by. On the other hand, it feels like Rylie has been in this family from it's start! Love to my two precious girls!!!

B

Mommy's Turn

2009-04-02T11:11:00.004-05:00

Hi everyone!! My goodness it feels like weeks since I've been able to sit at the computer, but then again it feels like we were just at the hospital yesterday and yet somehow, we're already almost to the 1 week mark. My latest prayer "addition" has been for God to slow time down or really help us to drink in as much of this as we possibly can.

Okay, here we are on updates. Rylie had her first visit with Dr. Worsley yesterday (our pediatrician) - someone from his practice had to come see her in the hospital since she was born over the weekend and Dr. W wasn't on-call (ironically, the same thing happened with mommy's doctor, too - my OB/GYN wasn't on-call either, but we were thrilled with the doctor who filled in nonetheless). My sweet little baby that has a sweet little cry let the dogs out on the other patients in the waiting room with screams that would make you think someone was killing her. Side note: Daddy has his own set of discoveries and I have mine. My first was that sleep deprivation has a different face during the day than it does at night. Brandon and I both swapped turns pacing around the office with baby to see if we could get the tears to subside, but no dice. However, all we could do was giggle - it was one of those situations where you either lighten it up or lose it. We were proud to say that surprisingly, we opted for the former. Discovery #2: I have an inkling that the only medical office to rival the waiting room time of an OB/GYN is that of a pediatrician. Although, it may have just felt that way because little miss was so unhappy. Anyway. When we finally got into an exam room, Dr. Worsley came in (while I was still trying to console our child), took the baby from me, flipped her over, and put his finger in her mouth (he has to check her suction - we were there for a jaundice follow-up). Rylie immediately quit crying and became the most calm, alert little thing you've ever seen. Mom, however, stood there with a look on her face like "What just happened here?" The rest of the appointment went wonderfully - Rylie, who had lost weight down to 6.11, had rebounded over a 24-hour period and weighed in at 6.14. Doc said her color is good, she's eating well, regular dirty diapers, and everything seems to be on the up-and-up. We'll take her back again in 2 weeks.

The biggest question on everyone's mind has been our sleep pattern over the last few days. I have to admit, the first 2 nights at home were incredibly hard. Lots of tears on the part of all 3 Poors, very little sleep, and a whole lot of trial and error. I am absolutetly THRILLED to report though, that we seem to be getting into a better routine; Brandon was able to sleep the majority of the night last night and I could almost say the same for me and Rylie. She was up every hour and a half to two hours to feed, but she slept so soundly in between that we were all able to get some much-needed rest. In fact, Bran and I did the scared parent thing this morning and asked if there might be something wrong with her to behave so well on just the third night home.

On the subject of Brandon. I have to brag on my sweetheart for just a little bit because the only person I have fallen in love with more through this experience than Rylie is him. I wish that everyone could have seen how beautifully he handled everything - from getting me to the hospital, walking me through the halls during contractions, bringing me ice chips, being my rock during the epidural, my coach during delivery, and the love of my life for every single moment in between. I have cried more over the last few days than I think I have in the last few years and the majority of it has come from the God-breathed awe inside of me at the blessings He's given me in the form of our fantastic families, friends, my precious husband, and now our beautiful baby girl. I am absolutely overwhelmed with adoration for the Father and these precious people He's put into my life. I have never been more humbled or ever so much in love with the life I've been given. Just as a side note, if you see my husband out and about, give him a pat on the back or a hug for being the awesome husband and fantastic father that he is!!! In my eyes, no one has earned it more.

Alright. There's the update from the mommy corner. I have to run for now to get little miss up to feed her. We love you all so much and are so thankful for your prayers, support, and generosity!! I have to second Brandon's post in thanking the many who have been so dear to us during this amazing journey. You know who you are but we may never be able to fully express how grateful we are to you for all you do for us!!!

So very much love,
Poors (Steph, a.k.a. Mommy)

Discoveries

2009-04-01T19:50:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I was thinking that I've had revelations since the new little one graced us, but I think that they're more discoveries, as I'm sure I'm one of a million people who finds these things out. To say I know anything about parenting after 4 days would be a grave deception, but I can say that this little girl is teaching me great new things every day. So much like my amazing brother and mentor Mr. Clint does, I'm going to start a series called "Discoveries," in which I relay these wonderful gems of wisdom.

#1. Wait to put lotion on the baby until after you've gotten her clothes on, cause otherwise she becomes a wiggly slippery little devil;)

#2. If it seems difficult to dress little Rylie at first, then she's only going to make it impossible! Example. As I try to put on her socks, she spreads her toes and bends her foot back. As I try to put on her mittens, she decides to spread her fingers, and grab them from me. As I try to pull her onesie over her head, she decides that it tastes good, and she sucks on the collar..and they go on and on and on.

#3 This brings me to the "banshee scream" I'm sure every baby has a cry that is unique to them, and ours is no different. You'll have to hear it to truly know it's glory, but it's a high pitch squeal like no other in the world, and it makes me go from normal speed, to super dad speed. That squeal comes out, and I go into the 'I'll do anything you want, just stop screaming' mode. It's sort of my 'flux capacitor' (you 80's babies will get that) and I hit 88mph.

#4 (this one is for all of you with the same car seat as us) "click, lift" then lift lift verify and lift again!

Anyways, these are the first of what Im' sure will be a long list of wonderful tidbits. Even on very very little sleep, I am so totally in love with this little girl, and her beautiful mommy. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
B

Proud Dad

2009-03-30T19:16:00.002-05:00

Ok, it's my turn to post about this gorgeous girl we welcomed into the world on Saturday night. First of all, SHE'S ABSOLUTELY BEATIFUL!!! I know that all parents think their baby is the cutest in the world, but in our case it's true! I know Stefy posted some of the stats on her, but I thought I would fill ya in on the whole story (without boring you I hope).

Friday we decided to go to the Parks mall in Arlington, so that we could walk for a while. We have been doing some walking, but were hoping that two days past the due date...the walk might help Rylie to come a little faster. We walked around the mall a few times, and then since we knew our date nights would be near non-existent for a while, we went to see a movie (we saw 'Knowing' in case your wondering...you can ask what we thought of it in person, otherwise we wouldn't have room for a blog;) After the movie, Stef and I decided to eat at a restaurant neither of us had eaten at before, "The Cheesecake Factory." On a food note, the portions were huge, and the food was delicious...and obviously great cheescake haha.

After we were done there, we headed to Target to do a little more walking. We also made breakfast plans for the next day with the Simpsons. Leave it to Rylie to break plans;) hahah She still owes Clint some french toast for breaking the breakfast date!

Now the fun part. About 4am on Saturday, Stef woke up thinking that she felt her water break. It hadn't, but she did pass the mucous plug. She started having contractions, she said that these were different from the one's she'd been having for the last month (the false kind), cause these hurt a lot. The contractions were close together intially, but then lenthened to about 14mins apart. They slowly got closer together, and about 7am they were 3-4 mins apart. The doctor told us to head to the hospital if Stefs water broke or if contractions were 3-5 mins apart, so we obeyed orders and got in the car. When we got to Harris Southwest, they sent us to labor and delivery.

The nurse there told us, after checking, that Stef was still at 2cm dilated..so she sent Stef walking for an hour around the wing. Stef could only get about 10-15 steps before a contraction would come on, and then it was stop, grab onto the railing, and rock time.

Let me interject here and just say how strong all women must be to do this for us wimpy men, but my Stefy was especially wonderful. She was a real champ, she was in tremendous pain, but she didn't make it look hard! She is my greatest treasure next to my Saviour Jesus!!!!!

After our hour long walk, they checked again, and this time she was at a 3cm. So they admitted us, started an IV and the fun began. At around 1:30 they checked again, and she was at a 4. They started the epidural (again another time for that story), and then gave Pitocin to help the contractions along (They call it Vitamin P in the L&D). At around 5 they checked again and she was 8.5cm. Our sweetheart of a nurse, Mary, checked again at 6pm so that maybe she could see the birth before she left at 7, and sure enough Stef was all the way, and ready to push. Pushing began at around 6:15 and Rylie was born at 7:55. Miss Mary (the nurse) even called her grandchildren to tell them she'd be late for a birthday gathering so she could finish out the birth, and she stayed an hour past her shift ended! What a sweetheart!

So that's the long version..and now we have this wonderful, perfect little girl that has blessed us beyond our imaginations already! We are at home now, and trying to adjust to parenthood. I have to end this, but want to say thank you so much to all of you for the prayers, calls, and support you've given us all along the way. Thank you to those who stopped in to see us. Thanks to the Russells for tending to Maya while we were gone, didn't want to neglect our first child:D Special thanks has to go to Miss Lisa (Stef's Mom) for being a rock of support all day during the labor, and now staying with us at the house to help out! Thanks to the Simpsons and Days (That's Clint and Bryan and fam btw) for your constant friendship and love! It's starting to sound like an oscar speech, and I think I hear the music playing so I'll say goodbye for now. Off to see those beautiful girls.

Love to all
Brandon

Welcome to the World, Rylie Poor

2009-03-28T22:09:00.003-05:00

Everyone, meet Rylie!! We'll update on the details a little bit later, but we wanted to let you know that our most precious gift arrived today at 7:55pm. She's 7 lbs., 5 oz., 20 3/4 inches long and she is the absolute light of our lives! We cannot begin to express our thanks for all of your prayers, your support and your encouragement - we feel so incredibly blessed to not only have her here but to have so many wonderful friends and family surrounding us. We're borrowing a friend's computer to update, so we won't post a super long piece tonight, but we wanted you all to know how proud we are to welcome our daughter into the world!! We love you all and can't wait to introduce you to her in person!!

Lots and lots and lots of love -
Brandon, Stephanie, and Rylie

The Rain Has Come and Baby Has Not

2009-03-25T20:36:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone! Well, I told you I'd update with whatever news we have post-doctor, so here it is. Boys, beware, we're getting into the girlie stuff for a minute, so if you're squeamish, skip down a bit :) Last week was the first visit my OB was actually able to tell whether or not I was dilated (my cervix is very "posterior", which means that it's tilted away and difficult to tell whether or not anything is happening). This week, we went back to the same old standard and the doctor couldn't tell us anything. She did say that the cervix would remain dilated, so I'm still most likely at a 2. So, it looks like it's an induction for Rylie... unless she decides to grace us with her presence between now and the 31st. If not, I go in Tuesday morning at 7ish and they'll start petocin at 7:30. Since I'm already at a 2, the doctor said that she didn't foresee any problems having a normal delivery... however, she said that the drill will run like this: petocin will be administered in small doses at first to increase contractions (she said that the stuff is working when contractions are fast, furious, and painful). Once we hit a 3, they'll break my water. Once we hit 4, I should dilate from there to a 10 at least 1 centimeter an hour, so if she checks me an hour after I've hit a 4, and I'm not progressing, she'll give me another hour or two and if there's still no progress, they'll do a c-section. If I dilate all the way to 10 and the baby is not positioned correctly (and her position can't be changed) to be delivered without putting a lot of stress on her or me, they'll do a c-section. Upside: we'll be parents no later than Wednesday. Downside: we may have to go through a more elaborate process to get our baby girl here. We're still praying that she comes on her own - several family members are convinced she'll show up between Friday and Sunday and really, we hope they're right.

We're also praying for some calm, too. I told Brandon today that this has been like visiting a major ride at a theme park for the first time. There's the initial excitement and imaginings that happen when you first find out you're going and then when you get there, the climb and wait in line seems to take forever, but you're still excited. Then, you get to the top and start realizing the ride in front of you is not so far away... the ground, however, is. In short, it's really hitting me what's 100% for certain going to take place sometime over the next 5-6 days and suddenly I find myself a little nervous, a little scared, and in the most surreal state I've ever been in in my entire life.

So. That's that. We're still waiting and we're still praying and more than anything, we're in awe of what's taking shape in front of us. We feel overwhelmed by the blessing that's about to unfold and we will very likely find ourselves short on speech when it fully presents itself - we're becoming acutely aware that our lives are about to be rocked, and we're so grateful to God for the opportunity. Anyway, we love you all so much, thank you for your prayers, and we will continue to post here as often as we can when things start happening so that everyone can stay up-to-date and we don't have anyone left out. Have a great rest of the week & we'll keep you posted!!

Lots of Love-
Poors

P.S. The weather today got typical and interesting for this time of year in Texas and it suddenly hit me that I could go into labor at home in the middle of a nasty storm... not likely, but possible. Like I said, prayers for calm ;)

Waiting for Rylie... and Rain

2009-03-25T12:30:00.002-05:00

Good morning everyone! Or should I say, early good afternoon :) I wanted to post really quick before I head off to the doctor. I'm in a "wishful thinking" mode and secretly hoping that the doctor checks me and finds reason enough to keep me at Harris and maybe send me home in a couple of days with a baby! It is called "wishful thinking" for a reason though, so I'm not holding my breath. Just wanted to let you all know that there aren't any new developments yet, we so appreciate your prayers and the check-ins via phone and email, and we will try to return phone calls just as soon as we can. In the meantime, just incase things get interesting in a bigger hurry than we anticipate, we'll be updating via blog just as often as possible. Rylie's arrival could still be a week away, but just so we have our bases covered, most up-to-date stuff will be here. Also, if you are one of the amazing people who have been so faithful and diligent to call and check on us and we haven't gotten back to you yet, we GREATLY apologize and appreciate your patience!! We've been running around trying to get the last-minute loose ends tied up and our return-call list is growing larger by the minute. We love you all so very much and we truly can't thank you enough for your support during this exciting adventure! Keep you posted!

Love -
Poors (Steph)

Short and Sweet

2009-03-24T22:17:00.003-05:00

No baby yet. She goes to the doctor tomorrow for an appointment (one that she didn't really anticipate or want to have). We'll update as we have them, otherwise it's just me calling over and over saying that nothing has happened. As fun as that sounds, I'm sure, I'll update with actual news:) Love to all, thanks for the prayer and support!

B

Still Waiting

2009-03-22T10:58:00.002-05:00

Good morning everyone! Well, it's now 3 days until my due date and we are still waiting on Rylie. We were all holding our breath that she'd be here by now but evidently she's content where she is and we could very well have another week and a half before she decides to show up. (Secretly though, we're still holding out hope that maybe she'll show up today - I would LOVE it if her birthday fell on the 22nd; Brandon's is the 22nd of June.) I have been having a bunch of contractions this week but unfortunately still nothing consistent. In fact I woke up this morning to probably the strongest contraction yet, but after it stopped, 10 minutes went by, then 30 minutes and it's now been almost an hour, so the consistency is still not an active element in the swing of things.

On the upside, we've made ourselves more productive through what we've been able to accomplish at home. All of the standards like laundry, vacuuming, dusting, hanging last-minute photos, GRADES, and a few other loose ends are nearly completely tied up. Part of me wishes that there was a better way to know exactly what's going to happen (or better yet, when) that way we could plan out and have a little more of a pace to go with our "To Do" list. Most likely we'll have everything done before tomorrow gets here and Brandon will begin his vacation time and I'll begin my maternity leave... all with still no Rylie. On the one hand, if we're still waiting on her tomorrow or Tuesday, we may take advantage of some downtime together which is ALWAYS wonderful, but on the other hand, we were really hoping to spend as much time off with our daughter as we can before vacations and medical leaves are up. (It's going to be torturous if I have to go back to work before Rylie is even 5 weeks old.) Also on the upside, cold is finally winding down to a close, I think, so at the very least, Rylie's safe from that.

So that's the scoop. I've been told that if I'm still pregnant on Wednesday, I'll most likely leave my doctor's appointment having scheduled an induction for the following week (around April 1st) if Rylie doesn't show up on her own before then. We REALLY don't want to go that route - we'd rather her show up all on her own. So, as I said earlier, we're secretly praying that those contractions keep coming and get closer together so that maybe little miss will be here within the next 24-48 hours.

Lastly, before I wrap up, I just have to mention (due to my own personal outrage) that I really am shocked at how much athletes get away with in our country (well, really, athletes, celebrities - those with any amount of fame under their belts). Incase you haven't kept up with it, my Sooner boys played their first round of March Madness earlier this week (their second round was last night - they won against Michigan - Boomer Sooner!). We played a little college that I haven't even heard of - to tell the truth, I can't remember the team's name even now. However, during the game one of the opposing team's players decided to pull a stunt on our team's front runner that would have cost him some jail time had it been done off the court. During the game, Ameer Ali got a hold of OU's Blake Griffin by the arm and flipped him over hard on his back. Had Blake not tucked a little before landing, he could've very easily sustained a head injury. I was shocked that someone would have the nerve to do something like that, and even more shocked that the only penalty he received was an ejection from the game. Like I said, had he tried that in a normal setting, he would've had an assault charge filed and he would likely be facing a little jail time. That's my soapbox for this weekend :)

Alright, I'm going to wrap up for now and go have some lunch and pray some more that the contractions come back :) We love you all so much and are so thankful for all of your prayers and support! Keep you posted!

Love-
Poors

Waiting with Excitement

2009-03-18T18:22:00.002-05:00

I feel like I have a zillion things to do, but in keeping with the true nature of a procrastinator, I just don't feel like doing them at the moment, so I thought I'd take a minute and put up a post-doctor update for the week.

I was really, REALLY hoping that when I scheduled today's visit last week that I wouldn't need it, but alas, baby girl has already established her own agenda and so at 2pm today, I was back in the doctor's office for the routine check-up. Speaking to you girls, I know every one of you can relate to the waiting room experience when visiting an OB/GYN - the waiting time is usually tediously long and in my doctor's office, it is usually standing-room only. Today was a pleasant surprise - I waited for roughly 15 minutes and my favorite nurse, Holly, got me right back to an exam room! Whoo hoo! And the rest of visit followed suit with that excitement. Blood pressure is much better than what we experienced last week (as has been the swelling in my feet and hands); protein levels are normal; and baby's heartbeat is just where it needs to be. Best of all, doctor reported that Rylie's head has come way down from where she was last week (so there was a definite drop) AND we finally had proof today that I'm dilated to about a 2. Progress!!! God is SO GOOD!!! Which reminds me, thanks SO, SO much for all of your prayers. The last few days at home have been relaxing and so much more enjoyable in comparison with the drama of last week, which I'm certain is responsible for the majority of the difference. As for the cold, it's still pretty nasty, but I'm on an antibiotic and all though it's irritating to deal with, it seems to be making progress, too.

Beyond that, I don't know that there's much else to report for now. We're plugging right along and I'm trying my best to get all my ducks in a row and loose ends tied up (grades, cert. program stuff, house cleaning, etc.) within the next day or two so that we can wipe the to-do list clean and replace the current items with one: "Wait for Rylie." Before I left the doctor's office today, I had to schedule another appointment for the same time next week which put a tiny damper on the day's progress (another weekly appointment on my actual due date), but again, I'm optimistic and praying that it's not needed. We're trying our best to remain in the mindset that God has a plan for everything and for everything, His plans are perfect. We are so excited!!

We hope you all have a fantastic rest of the week (especially to those of you who are soaking up Spring Break like we are) and we hope to be able to say we have a baby girl soon!! We love you guys so much!

Waiting with excitement -
Poors

A Cold Morning

2009-03-17T08:49:00.003-05:00

Well, it's now Tuesday morning and we are still pregnant and looking at one week, one day left until our due date. Unfortunately, instead of maintaining our excited, "Okay, let's do anything we can to get her to go ahead and come on out," we're now hoping she waits at least a couple of days. It seems I have a very nasty cold (again). No fever, but just about all the other standards - tight congestion in the head and chest, lots of coughing, blah, blah, blah. Sooo, I'm waiting on an antibiotic from the doctor and hoping that this thing clears out totally before Rylie gets here. My nurse informed me that this little bug is going around and has a tendency to reappear around 3 weeks later - which makes sense since this would be the 3rd time (in about as many months) I've had this silly thing. I asked her what would happen if I'm still sick when the baby gets here and she said, "Welcome to motherhood. She may get sick. Which if that happens, just take her into the pediatrician. It's a gross cold, but it's not severe and it won't interfere with breast feeding either." So there you go. Another round of prayers please :) I've started to get a little nervous about the next step in all of this (the whole labor and delivery thing) and it makes me much more nervous to think about having Rylie being a germy mom. Pray that this thing gets kicked quick and Rylie (and Brandon - he's had this once, too) is protected.
With that, I think I'm going to make a quick run to the pharmacy and then back home to go back to sleep! We love you guys and are so grateful for your prayers and support! One week and one day!

Love,
Poors

Baby Waiting

2009-03-15T14:28:00.003-05:00

Ok, since this will be my first post on here,(Brandon) I thought I would include a picture of my babies;) I don't think I can add anything new, as Stef is pretty adept at sharing news.

I do want to say that in all of the problems and obstacles we have faced, there have been people that stand out as helping me make it through. God has been so gracious, patient, merciful, and steadfast in our wavering faith. When we aren't strong, HE certainly carries us. When we think we're strong, He waits and holds us in His grasp until we run back to Him. My wonderful wife has put up with me, and pregnancy woes without complaining. She has been amazing through all of this, and I appreciate and love her more each day!

Our family and friends have been exceptionally wonderful. I can honestly say that God has put into our lives a close knit group of friends that have pulled us through the valleys. We may be at just the beginning of the real trouble, but it sure doesn't feel like trouble when we have our friends along side us! Thanks to you guys ( I think you know who you are), and I hope we can be to you what you have been to us!

Sappy speech aside, I can't wait for our little bundle to get here. These last couple weeks have truly been the hardest for me, because it's so near the end, but it's not quite here yet. It's like the last 10 minutes of a long car ride.

Can't wait to show your our little miss Rylie, but alas, you'll have to wait with the rest of us. Haha

Bran

Timing

2009-03-15T08:59:00.002-05:00

Good morning :) Just incase you're wondering, we're at home, obviously no baby yet, and there aren't really any changes to report since yesterday. I'm not feeling too hot this morning and we're praying that I'm just dealing with allergies and not beginning a battle with a cold. I've got the whole stuffy head, runny nose, sore throat thing going on, but a very itchy throat, too, plus itchy eyes, ears, and nose, which I'm told points a finger more at allergies rather than a cold. Either way, I don't feel too hot this morning.

"Cramps" are still there and still fairly consistent, but no increase really. My hips are pretty achey and feel like they're under a bit more pressure than they have been up to this point. Still, while we're pretty certain this is all pre-labor stuff, we've been reminded that this kind of thing can last for days and even weeks sometimes, so it could still be a while before we visit the hospital.

In other news, Brandon got to come home a little early last night and it's a big blessing to know that he's home for a few days and now that I'm officially on Spring Break, we can tackle the necessities that need to be completed pre-Rylie together, then focus on some "us" time! We've both been dying to get out of the house and catch a movie or do a few fun date things before baby gets here, but we've been tripped up by work-related stuff or obligations at home.

So... that's about it. I probably won't post again unless there's something major, but I wanted to let you all know where we are this morning incase you were wondering if we made a hospital run during the night. We love you and we'll keep you posted!

Lots of Love-
Poors

Rylie Watch

2009-03-14T22:01:00.003-05:00

Not to worry, I'm not in labor - at least not yet. However, I'm writing a short post tonight for a couple of reasons: to begin what I'm sure will turn out to be a long series of updates and once again request a little bit of prayer.

The update. I have been experiencing an increase today in what I can only describe as cramping in my lower abdomen, hips, and lower back... and the increase has been consistent (I'm feeling these things about every 15-20 minutes). Could be the beginnings of contractions? We're not totally sure, but in addition to what I'm feeling, Rylie has also made a very visible change within the last few hours. I was sitting in our living room floor near the coffee table today and when I leaned back I noticed a great deal of space between the top of my outward-sloping tummy and we'll say... the bra line (sorry, boys). Typically you might notice enough space to expose a rib or two. Today, we noticed that my entire rib cage is now exposed and the top of the baby bulge is just beneath the last rib. So, although our daughter's arrival could still be a week or two away, we're finally starting to notice some changes ourselves that are giving us the impression that we'll be making our decent into parenthood not too long from now.

Now for the prayer part. I still have a few things on my plate that really need to get finished before Rylie makes her appearance. First, I have a last round of grades - YUCK - that I need to finish and second, I have some things with my alternative certification program that need to be completed as well. Please pray that I'm able to focus long enough over the next day or two to finish the grades and get at least a little bit of the ECAP stuff done so that I get to turn my attention completely to Rylie and my hubby without worrying about anything else. It's ironic to me that even though I've been "laid off" from my job, it's still job-related irons that need to be pulled out of the fire.

Anyway, that's about it for this evening. We'll keep you posted should there be any significant developments and we're praying that we have a baby girl in our arms within the next few days! We love you all, we're so thankful for your prayers and your support and we can't wait to be able to introduce you all to baby Rylie!

Lots of love -
Poors

Poor Pots

2008-07-04T11:27:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone!! I promised that this time around I would post some pictures from our exciting pottery class, so this post is dedicated to our "Poor Pots". So the first shot is of Brandon and his "chips and salsa" project. He did SUCH a great job with this and I am SO GLAD I got a picture of it because, unfortunately, it wound up as just "salsa" project. You'll see when you scroll down. The next shot is our teacher (Carolyn Adkisson) who's helping Bran to try and trim down his "chips and salsa" project, because it got a little too thin. We discovered that this is an excellent project, but to do it successfully, the potter needs a bigger bat. (A bat is platform that hooks to the wheel on which pots are "thrown".) The edges of the "chips" portion of the project started to flare and so Carolyn was called in to help him try and salvage it. Unfortunately, there was only salvaging the "salsa" part of the project, which is the next picture you'll see. The next in our series, is the mound of clay sitting on the edge of Brandon's wheel - this is the aftermath of the "chips" project. R.I.P. The next shot is of a pot I threw to go on my desk at work. I'm turning it into a candle holder although it looks more like a pitcher. It has two windows (one on each side) and then a little (non-functional) chimney on the handle. Brandon's post-bisquing (first round of firing) piece is up next - it actually is a pitcher, unlike mine. After that, we have the "baby on the brain" piece. This is a door plate I made to go on the door to a baby's room when we do start thinking about kiddos. It's a classic "Pooh" that I sculpted and attached to the plate, along with a "tag" that says "BABY". After that, we have Brandon's "baby on the brain" piece, that's a small pot with Pooh's "Hunny" on it. We'll have a classic Pooh theme in our baby room when do have a little one. Lastly, is a project I threw last week and carved last night. It's a honeycomb and two bees carved into the pot. This will also be a candle holder. So that's it!! Those are our excursions in pottery so far. I'll post more pictures when we get them glazed (on a better camera - I forgot my camera at home last night, so these were snapped via cell phone).

We love you and hope you're doing well!!!
-Poors

Summertime and the Livin' is Easy... well, sort of.

2008-06-30T19:36:00.000-05:00

Hello! Welcome to the Poor House! We have tried this little thing a couple of times and alas, to no avail. But, with the state of our lives lately, we thought it high time to establish a spot where we can post the latest and greatest occurences in our neck of the woods so that (1) you know we are still living, (2) you're up-to-date with what's going on in our lives, and (3) you know that we love and miss each of you, even when we're running around like the crazy people we are and forget to write or call (we can be really bad about that - sorry!).

So let's get started.

The Weather Outside is Frightful
Although we're a good 6 months away from the Christmas season (though Hobby Lobby would like us to think it's next week; for those of you who haven't ventured in there yet, our local store already has ALL their Christmas stuff out - ALL of it) it's an appropriate heading for what's going on in Texas. We had a few little thunderstorms pass through last week, but they were more bark than bite, and we wound up with very little rain, which we need. It does make for fewer mosquitoes in our area, though small ponds and lakes could go nastily stagnant in our triple-digit heat if we continue to go without precipitation. So, pray for some showers for the Texans if you think of it. We're so thankful to have the modern conveniences of air conditioning and a swimming pool in our apartment complex, although we've kept so busy that we've only had time to really enjoy one of those.

Brandon is happily plugging along at GPPD, and ever the model police officer. Although it is a job with a great potential for dangerous situations, I, like his colleagues and supervisors, think he was born to do what he's doing. He's taken part in several major "busts" in Grand Prairie, including being responsible for a lead that led to the arrest of a sexual assault suspect in in nearby Arlington. When he's not focusing on his work, he's at home with his latest gadget purchase (he bought an XBox 360 last week), playing "Call of Duty 4", a military/adventure video game. Although I don't care to play the game myself, I do sit behind him and play the navigator ("No, no, no! Go back to the left, you forgot to pick up your sergeant!"). It's so movie-like, I can't help it. On Wednesday nights, though he has the day off, he devotes his time between the hours of 8pm and 2am to training with the K-9 Unit, in the hope that it will help him to be a more eligible candidate if a spot opens up to add a new handler (although, truth be told, he really looks forward to his K-9 meetings and I think he'd go regardless of an open spot out of a love for it). He's dreamed of being a part of K-9 before he even became an officer and we're hoping to hear of something definite by sometime in October. If we do, we'll add "first-time home owners" to our laundry list of accomplishments this year; in order to become a K-9 handler, we have to be able to house the dog assigned to Brandon. In order to house the dog, we have to have a house (the department will pay for and install a kennel in the backyard). On the one hand, it will be a HUGE blessing to own our own home - we're just about done with apartment life and hoping to make that plunge within the next year or so, regardless. On the other hand, it's a huge responsibility, and we are doing our best to start preparing for it now and praying that God opens the right doors. On Thursday nights, Brandon's other night off, we've enrolled ourselves in a pottery class! It has proved to be one of the smartest decisions we've made this year. It serves as a great date night (the class only has 5 people in it, including Brandon and me), it's a phenomenal stress reliever and distraction from the chaos that seems to be running rampant with us these days (more on that in a moment), and it's a great creative outlet that has shed some light on Brandon's hidden talents - he is REALLY good! He made a pot last week that will go in a baby's room (no, we are not pregnant, but more on that later, too) someday and it is ADORABLE! I'll try and snap a picture of it during our next class and post it later this week.

As for me, I am at a point in my life where I feel as if I have been travelling for the past 20 years on an old highway or even a dirt road, and coming up to this point in the journey that's the equivalent of the High 5 in Dallas (or, for the non-Texans, a major overlapping and intersecting of multiple interstates). I am recently employed - I will be a first-time teacher in the fall of 6th graders in the subjects of English and Social Studies. This has been the biggest blessing so far this year - of the last two or three years, really. I am blessed that women in my generation do not and will not know discrimination in the work place like those who have gone before us - if you can dream of doing it, you can do it. However, the choices are limitless, and the women in my generation are faced with same questions a lot of times that men ask themselves. What do I do with my life? What's my purpose? What am I best designed for? I have always thought my job would be the largest arena in my life in which I would find individual fullfilment and accomplishment. In the last few years I've done a little of everything in the pursuit of that idea - I've tried out singing, photography, administrative work, and substitute teaching. I've been blessed (again and again) with a husband who's been supportive in my ventures and who's been patient with me while I figure out where I am supposed to be. In the process of all this, God is ever changing my heart. I have lowered a bar - not all bars, just A bar - and I am learning to enter the work place with little expectations. I am learning to exist as a passenger and a vessel, instead of the driver, the controller. As it turns out, this is the ultimate lesson that I'm learning across the board - I am not in control of my own life, and I am not MEANT to be in control of my own life. Jobs, relationships, health, children, homes, vehicles, finances - who seriously wants to fight the Creator for full the weight of all that? I did. It sounds so silly, but I think it will forever be one of the biggest "Duh" moments in my life, and finally it's sinking in, and I'm giving it over to Someone who can handle the wheel. So. Like I said, I'll be a new teacher in the Fall. I'm fiercely overwhelmed somedays because I have a long way to go to get where I need to be, but most days I'm more excited to do this than I have ever been about any job I've ever done. To prep for it (I have to get my alternative teaching certificate) I am enrolled in ECAP, a local program in Fort Worth. I have 4 weeks of "intensive training" that begins on the 7th of July (one week from today), followed by one blissful week of relaxation before I take the plunge. The second week in August, I start New Teacher Orientation, followed by a week of Teacher Inservice, followed by the first day of school. Aside from the job, I am in the process of a "physical" makeover. I am not a healthy eater. I have ALWAYS struggled to be a healthy eater, and after the addition of some very unwanted weight, I am on the road to recovering a healthier, more energetic me. (Prayer would be appreciated!) So, between, classes, homework, exercising, and prepping for the year, I find myself super busy, but pleasantly, too. It's a big blessing to not have to sit at home and wait for the phone to ring.

Where the Poor Family is concerned (meaning, both Brandon AND me), we are looking into going a bit more "green" in the near future by swapping out Brandon's only Texas status symbol (a Chevy truck) for a new Camry Hybrid. Although we're thrilled it's a "greener" car, really we're doing it for the added green in our pockets when we won't be shelling out half our earnings to foot a rising gas bill. We're hoping the car gets in sometime in July. Despite the boom in Hollywood (AND in Fort Worth - I swear, we're avoiding the water), there are no babies on the horizon for the Poors. At least not yet. I am hoping to get good and settled at school this year, Brandon is hoping to secure a K-9 spot, we are hoping to get into a house, and then maybe next year we'll have something different to report. For now, we're content to play the aunt and uncle of all the upcoming babies our friends are being blessed with.

WHEW! So! If you've kept up with all that, there's quite a few irons in the fire at the Poor house! And I'm sure that as the months go by, there will be a few more. I'll try and keep you updated weekly as to what's new - some weeks there may be more to report than others. We love hearing from friends and family, and we apologize if we don't respond right away, but please keep us posted as to what's going on in your lives as well!! If you're ever bored, you can also check out my occasional ramblings at my personal blog, http://stephaniepoor.blogspot.com/ or on my MySpace page as well (same blog, same content). I find that writing for me is incredibly cathartic and so I blab about a new movie we caught or a piece of news that irked me, things like that, just to be able to write a little.

Oh! I almost forgot about the other Poor family member. MAYA is doing well, also! She's done growing, and we're thrilled. She's topped out at 70 pounds and although she seems huge to most people, up next to an American-bred German Shepherd, she's actually quite small. She continues to love her mid-morning playdates with a ball or a frisbee, as well as walks, a bone or a chew toy, and the top crust from my sandwich at lunch. She has developed a passionate dislike for the ceiling fan and maintains her animosity towards the vacuum as well (although she has a higher degree of disdain for the squirt bottle, so she's learning to make peace with the latter a little better).

So I think that's about it! I hope you're all doing well and we look forward to seeing each of you sometime soon!!

All our love,
The Poors